FAMILIES SHARING HOPE
  • Blog
  • Resource Links
  • Books
    • News to Make You Weep
  • Prayer Requests
  • Contact
  • Connecting with Community

#5 the family that prays together has a lower chance of fisticuffs

11/8/2014

0 Comments

 
Families and family member come in as diverse forms as there are people. They live in different contexts, have varying levels of functionality and are rarely at their best when first dealing with the incarceration of a loved one. There is just too much emotion involved in arrest, trial, sentencing and incarceration to make is easy for people to behave at their personal highest capability.

So I would caution families to avoid the following: (1) blaming; (2) shaming, (3) secrecy, (4) public scenes and (5) trying to take responsibility for and force actions on another.  When Paul wrote to the Galatians in Chapter 6, verse 2 saying "Help carry each other’s burdens," I do not think that means to take over the burdens of others. In fact, I think burdens are learning opportunities and when we take over, we are actually stealing the chance to grow from the individual involved.

Now, do I think this is easy? Certainly not. Family do and should be supportive of one another and be encouraging to one another in practical as well as emotional and educational ways. But we don't get to badger, batter or belittle another and call it supporting or encouraging. I have learned the value of asking if I might make a suggestion. I have learned the value of just listening and cheering for the better ideas that are discussed. I have learned that sometimes other people can more effectively coach my loved one than I can. And I have learned that love has to trump "being acknowledged as right."

I am very grateful to the family member, extended family, friends, strangers, counselors and others who gently made an observation, reinforced the flickering light that is the precursor to change, affirmed the Love of Christ to my child, spouse, parent, sibling, family of choice, friend and myself. We all need that and we don't get to demand to whom or from whom that type of blessing presents before us.

So here is what I recommend: (1) Pray, pray and keep praying. (2) Listen. Listen. (3) Love, Love. (3) Support folks who have prayerfully decided that they need to say "no" to something. (4) Encourage growth, hope, faith, joy and love at all times and in all places with everyone. (5) Remember none of us knows everything about another or another's situation, but God does. (See item 1.) And lastly, when presented with the opportunity, (6) return anger with kindness, giving the fear to God who knows exactly what to do with it.
0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    CHECK IT OUT:
    BOOKS TAB 
    ​News Tab


    For information on meetings use the "contact" button above or call Jann @ 816-896-9815


    Author

    Jann's son was incarcerated.  She longed for a community where she could connect with others dealing with similar issues.

    Categories

    All

    Archives

    February 2023
    January 2023
    April 2022
    March 2022
    July 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    June 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    April 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    May 2018
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    June 2017
    April 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.