I was attracted to prison ministry long before I had a loved one incarcerated. God does plant seeds long before the blooming season starts. I connect that interest with the following written by St. Paul: "The Lord said to Paul, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.'” *

Being involved in the legal system and being incarcerated results in embarrassment, shame, obsessing about past choices, fear, frustration, longing for redemption, desire for renewal, depression, boredom, blaming, anxiety, longing for a better future --  and our loved ones whose illegal behavior and/or bad choices brought us all to this place have all the same feelings in even more unrelenting waves. 

Legal problems and, even more strongly, incarceration and its aftermath are so fraught with challenges that many family members are reluctant to even ask for help from their church or friends or even other family members. This was quite simply one of the most frightening, frustrating, lonely, isolating, out-of-control experiences of my life.** So I think this is the perfect place to explore something better than trying to do it on our own! 

This is one of the best places I know to have conversations about ideas that are altogether new to many prisoners and pretty darn rusty for others. Additionally, even if they are still wanting to be wise guys and tough girls, trust me when I say it is painfully obvious to anyone who lands in a jail or prison that life's challenges and choices have become a reality beyond what most of us can even slightly imagine.

In short, it is a place where so many people are longing for something better, for hope, for wanting to understand how to do things differently. It is a place where people are at great risk for despair, bitterness, feeling so unworthy and unable to find their way to a better life they instead opt to give themselves up to addictions, habits, choices and actions through which they hope to stop the pain at least for a little while. Even if they are wholly committed to never coming back, never again being removed from their family support, never again wasting money on legal expenses, let me assure you that there is little really useful support in overwhelmed and under-informed probation and re-entry programs to give them a workable leg up on getting back on track.

But if they have been introduced to the God who forgives, redeems and restores, if they have had time to grow in their prayer life, and a chance to begin to explore the scriptures, if they have experienced Christian fellowship, if they come out to welcoming churches and grounded, welcoming family members, then the data shows us a picture of hope, of purpose, and of intentional living as the hands and feet of God. Such as these bless and inform our lives as they return to the community that needs their presence, and presents and participation in the Name of Christ for the greater good. 

Data indicates the recidivism rates for general prison populations are pretty consistently around 70%; for programs run by faith-based, consistent, well managed programs offering fellowship, instruction and on-going support those numbers often drop below 20%. With incarceration rates soaring it becomes even more urgent that folks who seek to be contributing members of society be given tools to do so.

So where else can my time, my prayers, my efforts, my work have a greater impact on those who benefit from these programs, and for their parents, siblings, souses, children, friends, churches, employers, neighbors, and schools by extension. For this year and the next and for the rest of their years on this Earth and for eternal life.

What if my involvement only blesses one prisoner? What if it only helps one family? What if it only comforts one family member in the name of Christ? What if it helps more.

The fields are white and ready for harvest indeed.

* 2 Corinthians 12:9
**  The only thing worse is watching a loved one spin out of control, sliding further and further away from the dear and good person they were created to be with no internal or external barrier to the slide.This was quite simply one of the most frightening, frustrating, lonely, isolating, out-of-control experiences of my life.**

One of the things I like best about the Bible is that it tells us truths we have learned in this age to value, but which really are quite different from the ways of our ancestors. Our normal human condition includes a lot of fear. When loss of food or shelter resulted, not in the arrival of the Red Cross or Samaritan's Purse, but rather in disease, cultural destruction, death, slavery and many other truly bad things there was a lot to fear. Even today in some parts of the world "warriors" believe rape, slavery, pillage and mutilation is the accepted right of the strong over the weak.

So where does the idea of helping the citizens of the vanquished foe to return to safer, more productive lives come from? When did our ideas about the possibility of the victor having responsibilities rather than unfettered "rights" get legs in the history of the world? This is for me one of the most interesting things about reading history. Does might still overcome right in our age...sure, but not at all like it did in past ages. 

But such an idea certainly did not come from brains which are hardwired (with good reason) to place personal, community, tribal, national survival as the primary directive. Safety first only gets overridden when a greater safety can be conceived. For instance, a mother may run into a burning house to reach her child and get that child to safety even if the chances of her being injured or killed are great.

But John reports* the most amazing perspective of God.  Jesus said, "I am your Lord and Teacher. But I washed your feet. So you also should also wash each other's feet." That is just not something that naturally makes sense. Where is the order in that? Where is the safety in that? If you have ever had a pedicure or seen this done I want you to think about the posture of this. One participant has her shoes off and offers a foot to the other person who is stooped down in a posture where it is easy to knock them over. This is an activity that requires a certain amount of trust by both parties. 

It seems by looking at the different reports overlaid with the customs of the times that Jesus washed the feet of His friends and followers while Judas was still with them on Thursday of Holy Week. That kind of makes my heart skip a beat. Christ, who was Son of both God and Man, would have known Judas was headed down a slippery slope and, indeed, a bit later we are told that Judas was gently confronted about this and left the group to complete his betrayal. But Christ knelt in love and service to him, wanted him to turn away from his sin, but released Judas to Judas's free will and events that his betrayal would usher in. He did not order, plead, rant or abase His betrayer, but treated him with gentleness and courtesy. He did not single him our with regard to His betrayal, because in truth all of the Disciples would come up short in the coming hours, so all were gently cautioned.

The surviving Disciples would be charged with being world leaders without armies in a way not experienced before or since. So even in in the hours before the beginning of the suffering and death, Christ acted with kindness and hospitality not just to Judas, but to Peter, John and all these beloved friends who would have to remember their own cowardliness and short comings of the following hours and days. These who had lived most closely with Jesus, who had experienced healing and forgiveness and restoration and learning for months were going to have a very humbling time remembering their own failures as they went fort to spread the News.

How different would have been their response to those who betrayed, abused and threatened them if they had not first experienced their own brokenness in such a stunning way, inoculating them well from the arrogance and self-righteousness that gets so many of us in trouble when we view ourselves as better beings because we are loved by God.

How could anyone less than the God of God, King of Kings and Lord of Hosts possibly get us to even consider allowing ourselves to be vulnerable before those are capable of causing us harm. Yet Christ said, "I do it. So must you." Who else would offer at such a time, comfort and teaching for those He loved so dearly, modeling for them anew a new way of living that would usher in a new paradigm where a relationship with God becomes more desirable than physical safety.

Wow!

* John 13:14

I've misplaced my favorite Bibles. One was my grandmothers and I used it as my primary Bible for many years and then my husband gave me a new one to honor a major spiritual even in my life. I'm sure they are here somewhere...

It seems odd to me that this should happen when these particularly copies are dear for family reasons that go along with the more obvious importance of Scripture. But I've been focused on other forms lately. When I write this blog I rely heavily on https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/ where I can search for scripture in many and delightful ways. I have a Bible that is organized to read the Bible in a year with passages from Old Testament, New Testament, Psalms and Proverbs every day with a couple of observations by noted theologians. I have one that will take me through front to back to start when this one is done.

There are no shortages of Bibles around here and I am more grateful than I can say. In most of history there were very few Bibles anywhere (a young Martin Luther had to go to a library to ready a copy changed to a desk) and oral learning was the primary way to study the Bible. I would have been SOOOOO frustrated because oral learning is my poorest learning modality, followed by one of the poorest capacities to memorize of anyone I have ever met.

So my Kindle Bible and computer access and many paper copies of Bibles and books about Bibles are all so great a blessing for me.

But no matter what form it takes or how available it is, I have learned that dusting a Bible does not do me much good. I have to read it. And I can't just read it to justify what I want to believe. I can't just read it so I can be a smarty-pants in a group Bible study. I can't just read it because I like the sound of King James English. I have done all those things and found them not worth a daily visit.

But slowly I began to trust that God would bless me if I overcame my frustration with reading The Word and just began exploring, reading with wonder, reading with curiosity, reading with a willingness to accept that no theologian, no translator, no interpreter of scripture has ever gotten it completely, perfectly "right" because there is not a single human bean who is that smart (not that we don't think we are that smart sometimes!) Then I learned that I could pray the scripture. For me this involves two different but complimentary approaches: 

(1) I can ask with confidence for the blessing of the Holy Spirit of God that I might read with wisdom, with discernment, with confidence that my heart can be shielded from running of the rails into false ideas and dangerous interpretations. Passages in scripture that spoke of the dangers of listening to folks who taught 'false doctrine' kind of became too strong in my heart so that fear was larger than faith. I was so glad to be free to read scripture with confidence that God was bigger than my limits and again be able to balance the joy of learning and growing with the kind of humility of heart that constantly asks to be corrected when veering too far afield.

(2) I can take a section of scripture and pray that the truth of that scripture is true for me or for someone I am praying for. For instance if I am praying for someone who has asked for pray support as they decide about a career opportunity that is being considered I might pray, "Almighty God, your beloved child Marcia, needs to work as You know. She has two companies who have made offers and she does not know which is best. She has used the gifts you have given her of academic ability and her good people skills to consider each and she feels great uncertainty. Lord, with humble hearts we ask you to guide her to the place where you would have her be, the place where she will be able to live fully and grow in you. We remember that in James 1 verse 5 we read, "If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God who gives to all generously and without reproach and it will be given to her" so that is what we are doing. Lord, we are thanking You for this promise that we read in James and ask you to open Marcia's heart to lead her to the job You want her to have, the job where You already know the blessings and challenges that will be apart of the job, the people whose lives she will touch in the job, the growth she will experience in the job. Thank you for your generosity in all matters, but particularly in the loving plans you have for Marcia in this matter. AMEN"

Yes, that Bible is a source of so many blessings.

I do love thinking about Bible passages and learning more about God. But my most wonderful experiences with scripture came long before my current passionate enjoyment of scripture. This is one of my mostly firmly held convictions: God meets us where we are and as His Word, the Bible does the same thing.

One time I was broken, overwhelmed, uncertain, when nothing good seemed likely to come again. A particularly beloved pastor preached on Psalms 69 which starts with a wretched, soul searing rant that matched my condition well, but after all the sorrow has been pitched at God's feet with a "so what are you going to do to help!" demand King David sort of comes to his senses and begins to tell God how much he trusts God to be what God has always been, David's refuge and strength, his help and his hope and by the end, King David is giving praise and honor to the King of Kings. Even today my heart is tendering remember how important that moment was for me.

A few years later during in a much less extreme time of trial I thought, "I want to read that again! It is just a wonderful passage of scripture!" and I did. But, guess what, while it was a loverly, perfectly good and true reading, it did not sear my soul. As my need was new so was the message new in its comfort and pushing me to keep seeking the Bible for the thing I was supposed to be considering in the current situation.

Then today, as I read it again it brings me tears of joy for how tenderly and wisely God has cared for me every day of my life.

Same passage, three very different blessings perfectly suited to the needs and joys of the day.

So I can say with perfect confidence, wherever you are in your journey...seeking, needing, rejoicing, longing, hurting, thanking, hoping, lacking hope, teaching, discerning, mature in faith, approaching death, fearing life, needing forgiveness, amazed by forgiveness, at any time at all you can read the Bible and find exactly what you need (though it may not initially be what you want!)

I feel people have the oddest notions about the Bible. A common approach seems to be a vending machine Bible that, if I read I will (1) prosper, (2) be smarter than other people, (3) be "specialer" to God. Such an approach leads to some pretty frustrating experiences where a need to have folks conform to our ideas over-rides our need join together collaborating on a process where we dive into Scriptures with both joy and humility, grateful for how we grow, but ever willing to embrace correction and edification as the Spirit of God continues to refine our capacity to understand.

OK, i get it. That sounds like a lot of work and in some ways it is. But on the other hand, Christ tells us that His burden is light* and if that is true what might it look like?

Pastor Andy Stanley said something like this: If we really trust God, what would that look like? And it lead to an interesting conversation with his congregation. Because if we were able to fully trust that someone (God in this case) was completely trustworthy, totally able, utterly in control, perfectly informed and wholly willing to take care of us, would we need to be afraid of anything, hesitant to try any good thing, timid about loving fully, living fully, being fully and wholly all that we are able to be with someone else doing the heavy lifting? Might that not be an interesting picture of a "light burden", the price being giving up doing it our way?

Does not the need to "do it our way" grow out of our fear that no one else can do "it" as well as we can, has as much invested in "getting it right", is willing to put in the effort, exert the control, manage the minutiae with the passion we have, cares as much as we do?

So, just maybe, there is someone who actually has a better plan for us, more capacity than we have, more power than we have, more passion for our highest good than we have.

And before we dive off the pier declaring ourselves the bestest that ever was, don't you think it might be a good idea to consider our own personal track record? St. Paul wrote "I don’t do the good that I want to do. I do the evil that I don’t want to do." **. When I am brutally honest I have to say I am right there with him. I don't meet even my own (none too lofty) goals as the nightly news likes to remind me with glee on the 2nd of January every single, solitary, crumby year. I set goals, I make promises to myself, to my loved ones and the first time I hit a snag... well, maybe next year. Or I decide to live healthier, too often with "perfect intentions" only to find it all depressing and frustrating and really very darn hard.

Or I plan on daily devotions, or quitting smoking or swearing, or driving too fast, or yelling at my spouse or kids, or countless other ways I know I should live better but I just keep beating myself up. And I almost think my failures are part of why I am tempted to judge God--as though my limited capacity defines His reality.

But a relationship with God invites us to get off the perfection treadmill and into a life of growing and learning and shedding our limited self-concepts. Sometimes we make a leap, like folks who have experienced a stunning release from a habit or addiction that had them in a strangle hold. During other times we wonder WHAT God is waiting for since everything seems to be moving in slow motion, only slowly understanding that His timing is perfectly attuned to our capacity.

Oh God, Your glory is astonishing, I can't understand why you love me, but every day the truth floods my life and Your love overwhelms my limitations. When I am tempted to hide from Your light under my wretched little bushel basket, I am am so grateful that You keep wooing, loving and calling me to trust you with little steps or big ones, ever drawing me closer to You until the joy of Your light far outweighs my puny, pointless fears. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. AMEN

* "Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:29-30

** Romans 7:19

At some point I became wary of reading the Bible. I was very tired of hearing people WHO demanded a particular interpretation be their perfectly understood truth and proceeded to beat anyone over the head that did not, at the moment, fully embrace their exact view. My oldest son once referred to such folks at the "hotline to heaven" people. I think that is not only apt, but a trap we all fall into at one time or another. But I work hard to not live there.

Here is what I have come to believe about the Bible. It is a holy and amazing document, inspired by God to give us glimpses of truth. I don't believe it is "magic" in the sense that we can (nor should we try to) use it for our own purposes. I believe the Spirit of God enlightens me through Scripture, but only to the degree that my limited capacity is able to get a glimpse of God's purpose, greatness -- His glory. And the Word delivers insights and comfort in different ways at different times as needs and capacity to understand change.

Then, today I was reading an essay by an author who feels translation and interpretation is an on-going process if we are going to keep striving for a deeper and more authentic relationship with God. An example given was to consider the English word "glory" as it is attributed to God. The Hebrew word kavod (remember all English texts are translations since the Bible was not written in English) is more, much more than the Oxford Dictionary entries for "glory"* In fact it seems to me today's common usages actually get in the way of the concept of the glory of God. The closest dictionary entries speak of "giving God glory" as though by our actions we enhance God. 

Now, honestly, that is a pretty odd notion for me and I think modern English has glommed up this concept so that "giving God the glory" might be more appropriately described as "Giving God His due credit."

But the prophet Jeremiah described his vision of "angels proclaiming, 'Holy, holy, holy is the Lord of hosts; the whole earth is full of His glory.'** This seems like a powerful, awe-inspiring, amazing, huge concept. This kavod is a concept so large that I don't really expect to 'get it' even in heaven when I believe we will understand much that we cannot understand in this World. But, really, I'll need a LOT of rehabbing to be able to begin to get my head around the glory of God that fills all the Earth. 

In fact, as our understanding of something so finite as the "universe" which was not a common concept 2,500 years ago (if thought of at all), is still expanding and maybe this term "earth" might be more completely translated as God's glory filling the Universe which must be finite, but seems so infinite in terms of time, space and capacity from our human vantage point.

But God is either all that and more or He is not the God who has given us the Bible to give us a chance to understand at least a bit about God as best we are able. Because everything I have read, experienced, believe about God keeps expanding my concept as abundantly more and greater and heavier and more significant and more able and more powerful and utterly amazing.

Please understand that I am not saying that God is changing; I believe He does not. But His love for us cracks open doors to growth in a life where God is the primary focus. Not in a scary, micromanaging way, but rather like a truly loving and delighted parent who guides an infant from learning to smile through a thousand instances of micro-growth to handing them car keys...except this parent makes no mistakes! 

Colossians 1:17, which started me down this particular rabbit hole, says "He existed before all things and all things are held together in Him." Either this is radically true or there is no truth, light, love, hope, joy, forgiveness, renewal, rehabilitation, regeneration....no plan, no point and genocide in Rwanda is perfectly sensible if life is only about getting as much power as possible at any cost and in the end nobody wins. 

Almighty God, Jehovah, El-Shadai, You are beyond human imagination and we always get in trouble when we try to put You in a box that we feel we can manage. Thank you for giving us a Bible that speaks to us where we are, yet always calls us to a deeper relationship with you. Only You could conceive, much less inspire such a body of work to bless us, enlighten us, heal us, comfort us and still our fears of the unknowableness of You through all the days of our journey as Your child. The infinite You knows the finite us, woos us, loves us and teaches us to trust what we cannon fully understand, and to rely on covenants that are only imperfectly recognized, yet infinitely amazing and utterly reliable. AMEN 

*http://www.oxforddictionaries.com/us/definition/american_english/glory

** And one (angel) cried unto another, and said, "Holy, holy, holy, is the Lord of hosts: the whole earth is full of his glory." Jeremiah 6:3

There is an old gospel song that is ringing in my ears this evening. It speaks of standing on the promises of Christ my Savior.

I do love scripture and fellowship and worship and so many ways God has seen fit to bless me. But when the day slows down and the quiet is both blessing and distraction, more often than not music is my comfort, the way I most easily turn my face to God. Sometimes it is ancient music and sometimes modern and sometimes it slides along the spectrum.

But now I am thinking God for Kelso Carter who gave us these sweet words:

Standing on the promises I cannot fall,
Listening every moment to the Spirit’s call
Resting in my Savior as my all in all,
Standing on the promises of God.

Thank you, Lord, for always being present, always being trustworthy, always being generous. AMEN

Today a friend told me such a sweet story about his wife gently reminding a great-grandson that, since he longs to be a teacher it would be a good idea if he worked on projecting his voice a little more. The young man's charming girlfriend gave him a smile and said, "And if you want a relationship you gotta talk!"

I had to laugh, especially when I thought how true that is for us in our relationship with God. God has given us Bibles, hymns, written prayers ancient and modern, stories and comments from fellow travelers, archaeological digs, and preachers great and small, so joining the conversation about who and what God is poses no challenge.

But if it stays a head game or as internal conversations where we answer what we think God would say, it gets us no further ahead.  It is essential that we communicate with God. 

We call that prayer, but it comes in many forms. God, are you there? God, do you care? God, help my child. God, I'm so afraid. God, this is such a beautiful sunset. God, thank you for my friend. God, help us keep our marriage strong. God, I'm so alone. God, I don't know where to start.

It even includes: God, I'm mad at you! God, I'll die if you don't give me what I want so desperately. God, punish my enemy. God, none of this makes sense. God, if that is how you manage this world I want nothing to do with you!

The amazing thing about God is that you don't have to memorize the "right words" to pray, though familiar words of rites deep with meaning can open a door. You don't have to stand in a particular place or maintain a particular pose, though times of quiet repose with body language that indicates a desire for solitude can be good at times. But for many of us it starts spontaneously in some pretty odd places.

It can even start with, "Hey, you! Are you out there...."

Because, you see, no matter what it feels like in our human flesh, in truth it is we who withdraw from God. God is present at all times, wooing you, longing to attend to your needs, loving you, opening doors to possibilities not yet dreamed of, sending people to care for you. 

You can whisper or shout, weep or barely breath, be awed by the possibilities or terrified of His judgement, have thousands of words of scripture and hymns memorized or be completely without any understanding of who God even might be. 

He is waiting for you; open the conversation with one word: God? 

It is easy to let human logic waffle back and forth between a rigid religion with lots of rules and an over-emphasis on selected phrases interpreted with a very limited human understanding on one hand versus a let-it-all-hang-out, one-idea-is-as-good-as-the-other approach offering perfect chaos with no firm foundation whatsoever.

Fortunately, we are not left adrift with only the limited human brain's wanderings to offer insight.

C S Lewis wrote that he believed that the longing for joy is common to all mankind, and it is a gift from God calling us to Himself. St. Augustine of Hippa wrote "You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our hearts are restless until they rest in you."

This is what I understand about this: "—the body that cast the shadow is Christ." from Colossians 2:17. St. Paul was writing about theological angst being a distraction when human attempts to "get it exactly right" overshadow God's highest directive, to love each other as He loves us.

This does not release us from the responsibility to live as "rightly" as we are able to discern, but it does take away the NOT godly tendency to judge others and ourselves in ways that are an insult to the saving power of Christ.

Our errors (sins) are forgiven. God remembers them no more. As followers of Jesus we have a responsibility to allow that this means that as long as there is life there is capacity for God to bring love, joy, hope and purpose to our lives. It does mean that a perfect God has overcome our short-comings, so it must surely be very bad business to withhold our love from another of God's children. 

Does this mean that we should allow someone, in the name of "love", to cause harm to us or those for whom we are responsible Surely not. But we can work to release hatred, resentment and judgement which only allows another's action to cause us unnecessary harm, and instead stand solidly on doing the right thing as powered by God's Grace because it is our best understanding of God's Will.

No matter the challenges we face, the risen body of Christ offers new hope, new wisdom, new capacity. I know no better definition of Grace.

I think it is Carol Kent who first introduced me to the term "the new normal" but it certainly is an apt description of how life changes on a dime. For many of us that included a child's slide down through the legal system. 

But it can also refer to the loss of a job that has been providing proof of our worth and a financial foundation that feels safe. Or it can be the loss of health or life for a family member. It takes such a small mistake--a moment of inattention behind the wheel, a distracted moment's fall doing life-changing damage, a diagnosis bringing shattering news that changes everyday thereafter. Sudden, fatal illnesses have a different rhythm than prolonged fatal illnesses, but the sudden change is still part of the experience. 

It absolutely feels like that earth has changed when our perceived reality is gone in a phone call, a test result, a lay-off notice, a missed stop sign, a moment of anger. It is all consuming if it is our own illness or injury that is the outcome, but is not much less consuming if it is a child, a parent, a spouse, a beloved friend who is injured or dies.

We long to be safe, to keep those we love safe, but there is no body that can not be broken, invaded, maimed or die. It seems that if we think about that for very long it would drive us mad and make every relationship impossible because the potential for loss is so great.

When I think of all the women in prior generations who had cemetery plots filled with their losses it makes my very existence feel like a miracle. How could they go on in the face of loss upon loss? Whether there were miscarriages or wars or farm and road accidents these women most frequently chose to move forward, sometimes for the sake of their children and others they loved, but also because they found their way through.

I am so blessed because in my family much of that capacity to move ahead through sorrow, fear and loss was built on faith and deepening relationships with God. They did not, for the most part, teach bitterness and resentment, but rather courage and hope. When that was not possible I suspect they knew comfort and the capacity to endure since many who knew great challenges survived to advanced ages.

This verse has showered special hope for me during times of challenge. If this is such a time for you, I hope you will consider what it might say to you today:  God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth should change, though the mountains shake in the heart of the sea; though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble with its tumult. Psalm 46:1-3 

It is very easy to deem ourselves better than others. In our culture the universally proclaimed worst person ever is a perpetrator of a sexual crime against a child. It is, after all, so important to have someone who can be lifted up as proof that we are better than someone else. Then someone with celebrity status is involved and suddenly voices rise in favor of fairness, innocent until proven guilty and "after all, it was a long time ago."

This is, of course, the essence of the human condition---rage against the horrible monster until we start to wonder if the horrible monster is more like us than we like to think in ways that make us want to look away and pretend it is someone else's problem. The result is a culture that proclaims the right to participate in any sexual behavior unless it is one I find distasteful. No wonder our children feel they have lost the right to be asexual at any age.

I wonder how painful it is to be consider the unredeemable, utterly without value and without hope of reconciliation with family or community even if the underlying vulnerability comes from being a victim oneself.

But the Bible does not list big sins and small sins, but rather says we are all guilty of crimes against God. We don't trust God to have our back; we justify going our own way. We live lives of indifference, distrust, self-justification and "small sins" and sins of omission because we don't trust God to give us enough.  We build walls to protect our broken hearts rather than baring them to God for healing. We try so hard to be independent and self-reliant we miss God's most abundant gifts, reserved for the meek, the trusting, those willing to be vessels to bring God's love to a broken world.

So, no matter what your "big sins" or your "little sins" or the sins that come from what has been left undone, turn your face to God, because God is bigger than our brokenness, wholly available to pour love and healing upon us, both able and delighted to show mercy to us all.

God has locked up all people in disobedience, in order to have mercy on all of them.  Romans 11:32

Today has been a day of challenges and blessings. But then I find they so often are a matched set.

I am truly and deeply grateful for the rain that promises this stunning spring will continue painting my world so beautifully, but I admit that dodging high water spots and short circuited railroad crossing signs challenges my commitment to give thanks at all times and in all places.

But moving through that gave me access to a reunion meeting of women I met at last fall's retreat. They are rocking women with hearts for healing, wisdom, love and redemption. We laughed, we sang, we ate, we hugged, we talked and we plan for the October retreat to welcome new folks struggling with lost expectations, lost senses of place and safety and the loss of hope. 

I love it when we grow and learn and pass it on!

If you are a lady who is or has been affected by incarceration or the incarceration of a loved one please click the contact button above to request information about this program. Or click on the resource links button and check out the Kairos website for activities in your area.

Almighty God, thank you for the thousands of people working in Kairos and thousands more in programs seeking to be Your hands and feet bringing new ways of thinking and acting that are life saving, life affirming and joyful in the darkest of times and places. Thank you for Your ability and willingness to heal our deepest scars and sorrows. Thank you for bringing peace, love and joy where we had despaired of receiving that. AMEN  

My sweet daughter-in-law is preparing to return to work after the birth of her first child, a son who is keeping his many family members entertained through pictures, videos and internet chats. I look and remember how much I was conflicted between continuing my working responsibilities versus being the primary care-giver for my child...with each child.

But from the grandmother perspective I also know this is only the beginning of years of having to step back and trust that my child is safe in God's care: from learning to walk often with bumped foreheads to going off to school with the threat of bullies, distracted teachers and learning challenges, through sports, jobs, dating, engagements, marriages and now their own parenting challenges. It never occurred to me that in addition to helping my child grow, my child was helping me grow.

Now I see nothing in my life that has helped me more to grow closer to God. As a parent I became far less certain that I have all the answers and have become more grateful that God does. I became more aware of how little authority I had over the well-being of my child who over the years was so quick to climb to the top of the refrigerator or the school and am so grateful for each day of life we share. I became overwhelmed as we faced life's losses and challenges, but learned that God is faithful in tending me, and also my children during dark and challenging days.

If  you know me long enough, you will hear me say this: "I can't imagine raising a child and believing I am alone to care, instruct, tend, help, comfort and love. Even caring family members are not enough." You see, for me, it is essential to my personal survival and for being a capable and effective parent to remember these things: (1) I cannot mess up so much that my child is lost to God, and God's healing, love, faith, hope, discernment, joy and purpose. (2) God has no grandchildren and loves my child with a perfect and complete love without any help from me. (3) God welcomes my prayers for my children I believe mostly so that my relationship with them is what He wants it to be--because my prayers change me. God's care for them does not depend on me pleading, bargaining or haranguing, but rather it is my blessing to pray for my child.

So today I ask you join me in praying for parents everywhere, whether they are separated by work or illness or conflicting responsibilities, to turn their hearts and fears over to a God who loves their child as much as they do, but loves with perfect understanding, wisdom, purpose and love. (Oh, and that is how God loves me too!)

We like to pretend we are "good" and that is why God loves us. But when we are honest with ourselves we are frighteningly aware of our short comings. The more we fear being imperfect, the more at risk we are to slip further and further from God. We might fool the neighbors and the folks at church, and even our family, but we cannot fool ourselves.

Oh, most of us have not robbed banks or assaulted our loved ones or murdered anyone or dealt drugs. Folks who made those choices are fully aware of their errors. 

But "small sins" and sins of omission can offer a temptation to pretend they do not count since "everyone else is so much worse."  But here is the truth: when we compare the level of temptation we face, the reality is often hard to bare. You see, I've not been seriously tempted to rob a bank, cold-cock a family member, murdering anyone or deal drugs. But I am often tempted to skip doing a kindness to another if it is inconvenient.  I am often tempted to spend money on something not of eternal importance while being afraid to give generously to the work of the Church Eternal. Or, equally dangerous, I am tempted to make contributions for the purpose of looking good rather than doing good.

Ah, you say, but is all that all that bad? It may not be "bad" in the eyes of the world, but each of those temptations are actually the same temptation as the big ones, just tailored to fit my capacity to resist. After all, if I can not avoid small instances of being disrespectful of God and demonstrating a lack of trust in God in small things, then given a different life, a different set of parents, or a lack of moral training (which may be a contributing factor for some felons), then I have to ask, in all honesty, how would I have fared in a life where "bigger" sins were a daily temptation?

And, don't I face a particular temptation to justify "smaller sins" and "sins omission" in ways that separate me from God? Isn't that a slippery slope for me so my relationship with God erodes, corrodes and diminishes until I am consumed by self-righteousness?

So I praise God and thank God that "Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.*"

So as my grandmother might have said, I must "Shame the devil and tell the truth." I must never be proud of my ability to avoid "big sins" because the "small sins" shout the truth about my intrinsic worth. My value is because of God's great faithfulness alone. And that is amazing and wonderful.

*Lamentations 3:22-23

Birds singing in a gentle rain on a soft spring morning. It was like waking to God humming. A peek out the window shows a world painted in spring green and a rainbow of trees and flowers blooming. I do l so love spring with its daily reminder of renewal and rebirth.

My heart aches for those who are incarcerated where the kiss of spring is a distant memory. It aches too for those who walk in the free world, but are too bowed with sorrow, physical pain, isolation or hopelessness to be able to raise eyes to the beauties of the day.

The older I get the more aware I am of the quiet desperation that overlays so many lives. And the sadder I am for the folks who struggle alone, trying to heal from loss and frustration and fear through the power of positive thinking or throw themselves into passionate healthy living regimens, expensive hobbies or self-medicate to ease the daily pain.

My mother felt the phrase most descriptive was, "filling the God-shaped hole with all the wrong stuff". I too have a sense that I was created to serve a purpose only possible through a relationship with my creator, a relationship that perfectly fills the empty places of my heart, heals my rage and fear, and coaxes, woos and nudges me to release all that holds me back and embrace all that gives me wings.

If you have not been talking with God, now is a good time to open your aching heart to His love. If you haven't read the Scripture recently, there is something waiting to be read today to bless you uniquely. If you haven't practiced living your faith recently, look for a way to be kindly engaged with the next person you meet. God longs to heal you and your relationship with Him..

If you have never known much about God and aren't sure where to start, simply asking God for help in finding your way to Him will begin an amazing journey. 

You are welcome to use the "contact" button above if you have questions or wish to connect with resources.

Amazing God who is never too busy, never uninterested, never overwhelmed by our needs, thank You. Thank You for Your breathtaking capacity to heal, to love, to redeem, to renew, to reconcile us to you and set us on a path of hope, joy and a life of purpose and love. AMEN

Over the years I have been down-sized, out-sourced, plant-closed, fired, laid-off and retained as others were let go. Being in the midst of such stress is not pleasant, but it forms bonds that seem to last longer than many more pleasant ones.  I had much the same experience in the aftermath of Hurricane Ivan.

So how does it happen that we seem to be more generous, kind and strong when the going gets tough? I believe St. Paul remarked on this in Thessalonians 5:11 Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. 

It is both the joy and the curse of our local churches. When earthly churches work well it makes everything better from welcoming new babies to saying farewell to loved ones and all the challenges between. I believe the best churches find such encouraging and building up to be consuming tasks that leave less time for the kinds of personality clashes and petty disagreements that new Christians too often experience if they are not intentional about finding a church home.

Really, if I never again hear brothers and sisters in Christ argue bitterly about paint colors or pew configurations it will be a blessing beyond measure. If I never again experience snarky comments about the style or way of helping of another brother or sister in Christ I will be filled with gratitude. Is it so hard to imagine that they might be offering and doing their best gifts? And that they might be able to reach souls no one else might be so well equipped to reach?

Brothers and sisters, let me offer this suggestion: Pray for each other. Look for the good in each other. If you are concerned about the well being of a brother or sister in Christ and feel you must address a challenge with them, pray about it so much before hand that there is no "I" or "you" in the conversation. Pray until there is only a single desire for the good of the Body of Christ and all its members.

Living in our culture is too much judgmental nonsensel over things like dress colors and selfies and too little thoughtful consideration of truly important matters such as justice and how to be kind without doing damage. We all need to work to be certain that our churches are part of the solution rather than part of the problem.

Jehovah Japtha, Mighty God who heals, heal us from all temptations to forget our own brokenness when we see the brokenness of others. Give us eyes to see our brothers and sisters as You see them: precious children, created for purpose and worthy of kindness and love. AMEN

Some years ago one my children asked why he was having so much trouble in school. (Let's just say the state department of education ruled in his favor.) I told him I did not know, but I was confident that there were many possible outcomes such as running for school board or being a teacher or advocating for a child of his own that was struggling.

I felt confident telling him this because I do not believe God is capricious.  God does not play with us or trick us or tease us. God does what God says. God does not forget. God does not loose interest. God does not discard the broken or have to plaster over flaws or sins or brokenness. 

In fact, God uses every experience, every challenge, every loss, every moment of our lives, if we allow it. With every challenge we face we have a choice: we can become bitter or we can become tender. If the breaking of our heart, if the smashing of our egocentric self image, if the experiences of being weak, lonely, needy, broken, sick, exhausted, frightened or lost are given as an offering to God, they become, through the Spirit of God, the solid foundation upon which to build our lives, and the bricks and mortar of a passionate tenderness toward all God's children.

This is reflected in the oldest Bible stories, from Abraham, Moses, and David through Peter, Thomas and Paul and the stories of Christians today who have been redeemed from lives of selfishness, moral bankruptcy, crime, chemical dependency, materialism and brutality. It is my story and your story if you are willing, or willing to be made willing. It is the story of our loved ones in prison and the families who long for healing.

Almighty and All Powerful God, thank You for always loving us, for wooing us, for challenging us and creating us with purpose. Make straight the way for us to accept the molding and teaching and restoring necessary to make us tender and able to be Your hands and feet to each one we meet. AMEN

For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.  Ephesians 2:10

Again I have been climbing through my family tree. As sometimes happens, not all the information brings a sense of pride. In fact, this time I have learned a however many "greats" uncle, beloved of my mother, was far worse than the "Peck's bad boy" of family lore, but rather a person with a truly dark side. Wandering down that branch of my family tree indicates there was quite a lot of rotten wood there running back more than a century at least.

But here is the bigger story. In my generation and my children's generation the stain has been washed away. And I believe the story lies in dozens of obituary notices telling of the women who married into that family and who were noted for their faith, their strength, their honor and their strong commitment to family. I deeply appreciate every one of those women and the men that married in and helped build strong foundations of faith, honor, integrity, hard work and families where love overcame evil. These folks are the real story.

Today record numbers of families are dealing with incarceration that too rarely leads to restoration and too often leads to a family legacy of pain and broken-living. But there are good women and men who have stepped up to offer stable, faith-driven homes to grandchildren, nieces and nephews, cousins, step-kids and foster kids. These are folks that, injured though they feel by the errors of the incarcerated and/or drug-addled loved one, step out in faith and offer their love, trusting God to help them find a better way for the next generation.

Like all of us they battle a culture that encourages self-will run riot living where promiscuity, pornography, a wide spectrum of mind-mangling drugs and materialism are praised while modesty, decency, generosity, simplicity, kindness and reserve are mocked and even assaulted. But these caregivers understand with stark clarity the wages of selfishness, lack of self-control and failure to anticipate the consequences of actions. The stakes are dauntingly high for them and for their communities.

There is no national "respite care" program or trendy charitable organization, few local resources and too many churches who, not know knowing what to say or do, say and do nothing to support and fortify these families.

Today, please pray for these care-givers and the children they love.

O Spirit of God, Holy Comforter! Sustain, enlighten, strengthen and empower those who care for children injured by the grievous errors of their parents. Send people to be Your hands and feet, caring for them, loving them, being a living example of Your hope, love and power. Help these caregivers to embrace and nurture their relationship with You, and by their faith introduce new life in You to them. Stir Your children to wise and appropriate help, to fervently pray for them and the children they care for and love. AMEN

I've had a warm glow this week, from a delightful and renewing Easter. We sang and rejoiced in a wonderful worship service, heard a sermon built on truth that nudges us forward in deeper faith and greater service. We had a house full of our children, grandchildren and friends. We had an evening of remembering conversations with distance family and each other. How are there even words to thank God for a day of such abundant joys and love overflowing.

But there are groups of people who don't have an opportunity for all that. They might have an all too brief visit with a dedicated family member or two, but no opportunity to worship with them. Their meals will be the same old same old and little more than fuel. They will face a day the same as hundreds or even thousands of others. They will spend the day behind bars and barbed wire.

But there are other folks, moved to compassion and action, who commit their Easter to minister in prisons. Some work through Prison Fellowship. (See Resources Links above.) Local church groups and chaplains come to jails and prisons offering hope and fellowship. I thank God for each and every one of them. 

One of the biggest problems for inmates is boredom, mixed with anxiety and depression. If those of us who know a better way to live can't get the attention of these folks now, when will that happen?

When you write or visit with an incarcerated loved one please let go of the need to "instruct" and replace it with the power sharing a life well-lived. Let go of the need to fix and instead offer testimony of the power of God's love and desire to free your loved one from past wrongs. Let go of anger toward a legal system that is in dire need of reform and assure your loved one that God's grace is available to them right now and right "here" wherever "here" is.

And if you can not yet do that, then spend some time yourself in conversation with the God that loves you and your loved one, is present with you both and has a plan for you both.

We cannot push a string, but we can be living proof of the power of forgiveness and redemption and renewal and that shines light into the darkest of places.

Loving and present Lord, thank you for the men and women with hearts for ministry to those in jails and prisons. Thank you for worship services, Bible studies, mentors, and volunteers teaching life skills. Thank you for folks who write letters of hope and truth. Thank you for people around the world who pray for all those in prisons: inmates, correctional officers, administrative staff and wardens that they may know the warmth and light of your love in a place swimming in lost dreams, lost hope and despair. Thank you for the honorable and brave folks who embrace a relationship with you and let it shine into prisons and jails around the world. AMEN

This matter of persecution lingers in my heart this morning. Having grown up in church school, I have long remembered images of Christian martyrs facing death in Nero's arena.Through the years I have read of folks who were persecuted by the earthly church itself as men and women of God followed God's call to reform an all too human church hierarchy from disgusting and dangerous actions and doctrines. Those seeking to make political hay using perverted theology as an excuse continue to harass and harm and kill followers of Christ in too many parts of the world yet today.

I once heard a speaker recall his early years when he called on white clergy in the south to advocate for the rights of God's children of color. After the second one committed suicide in the weeks following their conversation he lost the heart to be the vehicle bringing such conflict to fellow Christians. His story follows me because, as a natural firebrand, my passion for embracing my understanding of truth has brought pain to my family. I won't know on this side of heaven if that was right or not, or if I missed a better way because I relied so completely on my personal perspective.

This is such a small thing compared to the Christian who has her family threatened if she does not renounce her faith. But it does give me at least a small capacity for tenderness for such a challenge. To tell someone, "Kill me if you must" is quit different I think than "Go ahead and kill those I love." We might think, "Surely they can renounce under duress and God will forgive." Of course God forgives this; think of Peter denying Christ three times before the second rooster crowed.

But think of what that did to Peter! That same Peter who was rather cocky about his faith and his loyalty had in a moment his self-image shattered. As the Spirit of God rebuilt him, Peter's passion and commitment were tempered with compassion and a greater dependence on God.

Also, how would it feel to try to live externally in a way that totally violates everything held dear on the inside?

No, I think when faith flourishes in such a harsh environment it is no tentative or conditional idea, but rather something fully committed and wholly embraced in ways we in our culture can rarely conceive. This is why the names of the martyrs have not been lost in the sands of time, but rather honored for the light they continue to shine into the world.

I appreciate Martin Luther's comment: "Hier stehe ich und kann nicht anders! Gott helfe mir, Amen!" or "Here I stand I can do no other. God help me. Amen"

Most merciful God, we pray Your grace, comfort, and strength be poured out on those facing persecution for Your sake. And we thank You for being wholly present with them, with those who love them and those who are intimidated by their situation. AMEN

Christ has said, "Blessed are the those who are persecuted for righteousness' sake." This touches my heart especially since a long-time friend recently asked for prayers for a new Christian who is anxious as he prepares to return to the nation of his birth because there being a Christian there is a killing offense.

There are plenty of challenges for new Christians in our communities, but few face physical assault or death. Yet today there are people incarcerated solely for being true to their faith. Please remember to pray for them as though you are in prison with them. St. Paul wrote that and he spoke with authority in a world where the blazing "new religion" of Christianity was unsettling to human political systems.

Of course, this brings to mind the incarcerated community in this country and throughout the world. Oh, not because I think everybody is a political prisoner or wrongly incarcerated. No, my thoughts are for the lonely, frightened, hopeless folks who must face challenges I can barely conceive when they become baby Christians in such a hostile and temptation-filled place. 

I think of my great-grandfather who went forward at every revival that hit town, but would soon allow his doubts of his personal worthiness to drown the hope budding in his heart. I suspect this is a particularly common threat to those who live behind bars and concrete when they are introduced to God. Would I have the necessary courage in such a scary and barren place to persevere in faith?

I suppose there are plenty of folks who think I am kind of a nut about this God stuff, but I don't pay much attention beyond praying for such folks. I have certainly never felt afraid of physical harm or financial abuse or emotional trauma because of my faith. That is a reflection of the country in which I God planted me.

But for many people, sticking by their values, maintaining their commitment to living in truth, worshiping publicly or sharing their personal faith, hope, beliefs or ideas invites great hardship and all kinds of dangers.

Please include in your daily prayers pleas for comfort and encouragement for our brother and sisters, suffering and daily at risk because of this faith we share

Matt 5: 10-11 Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are you when men shall revile you and persecute you and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely for my sake.

Abba, Father pour out Your mercy on new Christians everywhere as they begin their journey of faith and service. We ask especially abundant blessings for those of our brothers and sisters who face danger in order to follow You. Stir us to pray persistently and frequently for those struggling with fear, danger, uncertainty and abuse for Your name's sake. In Jesus Holy name we ask this. AMEN

Peacemaking is often promoted without a clear understanding of the radical concept it truly is. Peacemaking in not waving placards for TV cameras and it is not sending a check. It is not causing emotional or physical harm to people you believe are causing the problem because they don't agree with you. It is not hating the lesser informed, folks with a different perspective or even the ones that are absolutely wrong.

Peacemaking is longing and working for a common good. That does not mean a community where all the houses are painted from the same palette or a bunch of old folks gather to bemoan the morals, morale or hopes of the younger generation. It does not mean banning together with like-minded folks to promote poorly researched and ill-conceived ideas that sound good but lack goodness.

Peacemaking is being willing to give up something to which you have a right in order to respect someone else's rights. I love the American ideals of the inalienability of the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. But as followers of Christ (remember that is to whom this section of Scripture is directed) we have a freedom greater than any of our political rights. We have the right, and the responsibility, to be kind and loving, living in a way that makes God attractive to the lost, lonely and anxious of this world and realizing this is more essential in our lives than any temporal thing. 

Does that mean that I am against a political order that respects life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness? Of course not. It is just not now nor can it ever be the most important thing to me. The most important thing to me is this: in this little patch of the world where God has planted me I must bloom. To the extent I accept God's help and direction, I shine His light, His hope, His love as I walk among God's children offering practical assistance as best I can with God's help,

In the political arena peace is negotiated at tables between powerful nations. In the Kingdom of Heaven it is sewn, nurtured and harvested on the most personal of levels by people caring for one another in Christ's name.

Matt 5:9 Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God. 

Almighty and Everlasting God, thank you for bringing Your peace to my life. Open my eyes and ears to the needs of those I meet today. Let me gently demonstrate Your love by truly seeing, generously responding to and consistently praying for the people You set before me today. AMEN