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redemption, renewal and regeneration

1/31/2015

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We need the rain but still the dreariness of the day with nude trees and a carpet of brown floral detritus and decomposing leaves reminds me that spring is still a ways off. I do love being back in the Midwest where the seasons paint such starkly different portraits as the days pass.

Maybe that is why I awoke this morning thinking, "Saturday, women and men and children awaking in modest motel rooms having breakfast and heading off to prison visitation and a few moments out of a month or a season or a year to connect with a loved one behind bars. Those are the lucky ones since they can afford the motel. Others will have been on the road since before dawn to make the trip, or been on a bus for a couple of days. Many are deeply grateful that the cost of gasoline at the moment is making the trip a bit less of a financial burden. The seasons of their lives are always flavored with the missing of their loved ones.

And in the prisons there are hundreds and thousands who wonder if their loved ones will be able to make a planned trip. And so many who have had no visitor for many years as families, (physically, emotionally and financially exhausted and faced with hundreds of miles of travel) eventually have less energy to stay connected.

Then there are weddings, graduations, reunions, birthday celebrations, funerals, holidays religious and secular where families gather painfully aware of the empty place at the table. There are families wondering how much to explain to children who wonder why other students have two parents or live with a single parent rather than a granny or why a beloved uncle or aunt never come to visit anymore.

Today, whether you are shoveling snow, headed off for a walk on the beach or watching it rain, will you pray for these families, our sisters and brothers in Christ, who long for redemption, renewal and regeneration for themselves, their families and their prodigal sons and daughters?

Carry each other’s burdens and so you will fulfill the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2
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overflowing with hope

1/30/2015

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May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in faith so that you overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13

Most of us long for peace and this is certainly true for families with a loved one enmeshed in the legal system, in jail or prison or trying to rebuilt after release. There is so much fear for safety, for the future, for the effects on the family, for what happens when the loved one reenters the free world. But one constant in all that fear is the we have no authority over these things!

For me, this is one of life's greatest challenges: what is beyond my ability to positively impact and what is wholly in God's care? 

This is really crucial to consider for many reasons: when we get them confused we spin our wheels and waste resources better committed elsewhere, but worse we damage our own health and reduce our ability to actually put our energy where it will do some good.

This is part of why I praise God for the guidance, discernment and love that was given me when I was dealing with all this. Did I get it all correct: Absolutely not and still today I struggle with these issues, but I could be confident both that God was helping me every day and that when I did not get it "right" God was still in authority over my incarcerated child and nothing I could do would change the wonderful, amazing and reassuring truth.

My prayer for you today is this:  God of all creation, thank You for Your tender care of my loved one and of me and of all the lives touched by this challenge. Give my child and I discernment to recognize and welcome the people You send to minister to us, witness to us, instruct us and comfort us by the power of the Holy Spirit.  AMEN 
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who can you learn from today?

1/29/2015

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I was a part of a program through my church to visit older church members whose health severely limited their ability to attend church. I was new to the church so did not have much to share in the way of memories and the beautiful lady I was to visit had severe memory loss problems. Since I am naturally inclined to want to "mark every thing better" this presented me with a challenge and I was nervous.

But God had a plan because Miss R did not need fixing at all. Instead she made some much needed repairs to my soul. Many things about her children, husband and early life that she remembered with fondness and humor. But because of short-term memory loss she had forgotten that her husband had passed away a few years before. So when she was a little fretful about when he would "get back from his business trip" I would just assure her that I was sure she would see him again before long and after a few months she spoke of that anxiety less often. She taught me much about living fully in the present.

Of course, she did not remember me when I came, but after some weeks she recognized that I was someone she knew even if the name would not come to her lips. But a wonderful smile came to her eyes and a warm welcome to her lips.  She had taught me that a home made name tag with just my first name in large print was a good idea when visiting anyone who was ill or confused.

I believe she got unusually good care in the nursing home because she was such a blessing to all the folks who worked with her. No matter how challenging their day was, it was very rare to enter Miss R's room and not get a smile, warm greeting and even a gentle joke. She blessed other folks who lived at the facility with that same generous spirit. That was my next lesson: even though she had such failings of body, her love of Jesus kept shining through in small acts of kindness all day everyday.

I asked early in our visits if we might pray together and she often had a tear or two in her eyes when we finished so I learned to get over any shyness about praying aloud with folks if they were willing. And those prayers often left tears in my eyes too as I came to love her very much.

Who can you learn from today?
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do not let injustice cause more injury because of the response to it

1/28/2015

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Injustice comes in many forms. Obviously the victims of crime have experienced injustice far in excess of the "gain" of the person who stole or assaulted or gave away free samples of illicit drugs or demanded sexual release in illegal ways.

Sometimes the guilt is there but an inequitable sentencing or bizarre plea deals result in extreme sentences. Or mental or physical illness results in the effect of the sentence being harsher than is reasonable.

Sometimes the choice of friends or activities results in being on the fringe of illegal activities that suck us in to illegal activities our selves or to being unable to prove our actions were not contributory before, during or after the fact. The price for this is frequently pretty stunning.

Sometimes there is outright miscarriage of justice where an entirely wrong person is charged and/or convicted of a crime that they simply did not commit, either through intent by the guilty party to escape discovery, inadequate police work, overzealous prosecutors, political climate, poor representation or any combination thereof.

But, even as appeals and continuing investigations continue I think it is a mistake to encourage our loved ones to rely on human agencies to bring them peace. Please understand I am NOT saying that such avenues should be abandoned or injustice meekly accepted. But I believe that to keep the focus on the unfairness of the situation can actually cause additional damage to our loved one.

If instead you can model for them a calm belief that all things come to good to them that trust God* then they can not allow the injustice to be more damaging than it might be.  Encourage them to get their GED and participate in any educational opportunities and classes because these things can carry good things through their release. Encourage them to read scripture, participate in Bible studies or programs from Prison Fellowship or KAIROS if available, and seek out mature mentors to learn from, because all these things will certainly help them both today and when they return to the free world whenever and however that might happen. And because even in jail or prison God has important work for them to do, work that will give them a sense of purpose, dignity and hope. And because even in jail or prison God's gifts of love, joy, hope, healing, wisdom, strength and self-control are conferred by God through our relationship with Him, and no one should live in the lie that they must wait for this relationship or that anyone but God alone provides access to that relationship.

So it is also for us who wait in the free world, long for the restoration of our loved one to us, rage against the unfairness of it all. We don't have to wait either for a relationship with the God who longs to comfort us, heal us and give us understanding and hope. Talk to God about these things now so you will not do without comfort for want of asking.

*And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28


 

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is your puzzle in a jumble?

1/27/2015

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Before we left town we started a jigsaw puzzle and came home to find elves have not finished it. My husband and I keep a puzzle going periodically because we believe it helps us to stay more mentally active and we enjoy working on something together during the winter months when it is too cold to spend as much time out of doors.

We pour the puzzle pieces out and then the challenges of different approaches begin. I want to sort all the pieces by colors or common feathers (i.e., coast line or ice skaters) setting aside the edge pieces as I go. My husband prefers to scan through for all the side pieces so the edge is complete before the rest of the puzzle is started. This has resulted in a style that changes based on the puzzle we are working and often starts with one person doing the set up rather than having too many hands with different focuses. It takes all the skills (and patience) the two of us can muster but we generally succeed.

I look at the puzzle pieces as they go from a complete jumble to a beautiful picture wrapped in the fun we have had laughing over frustrations and rejoicing in a single piece finally finding a home. And I wonder if this is not how my life seems to God. I have been given abilities, developed skills, taken baby steps and some significant leaps of learning along my journey, always feeling things are at least a little out of control and disjointed But God sees the top of the box and knows how each piece of learning, each relationship, each experience is perfectly suited to my individual journey and my life of purpose as a child of God.

So it is also for our loved one whose incarceration seems like the worst imaginable thing, something we did not even fear because in the beginning it seemed so far from our expectations for our child or our marriage or our parent or our friend. 


But this too is part of the good life God even today sees for our loved ones. This puzzle seems ugly, dark and desperate, but God has a transformational outcome in mind and the power to make an amazing picture come into existence. 

Cling fiercely to God, work diligently on your own spiritual life so that your interactions with your loved ones will reflect your confidence that God loves them, values them and has important work for them to do.

"Jesus looked at them and said, 'This is something that people cannot do. But God can do anything.'” Matthew 19:26


 
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mom, god has this

1/26/2015

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We hold a child in our arms with such hope for them. We want their life to be better than our own, their health always good, their academic success assured, their relationships healthy and empowering. Each time they face a challenge we long to make it all better and we feel guilty that we can't keep them from all challenges and harm.

But think about this: what life does not have challenges and what person doesn't need the lessons that these challenges offer? I remember my mother's voice saying, "Well, pick it up and try again!" How wise that is to convey that to fall down is a normal part of life, but that trying again is expected.

When my son was dealing with the legal system this was most what I wanted him to understand. He had significant and important issues to deal with. They did not need to define him but they definitely needed to refine him. What he learned in prison probably saved his life and as such will be a part of who he is always. What he does with what he learned will be his legacy to his daughter and his community.

So, when we are tempted to feel that our child's legal problems are a result of our inadequate parenting, let us take a step back and remember that we made no mistake so large, no misstep so bad nor any error so horrible that God has lost us. God offers redemption, renewal and a new life to our child no matter how far they have strayed or how we have failed to meet some unrealistic and phony standard of perfection. And God offers this same redemption, renewal and new life to us! Do I have new ideas of how to interact with my adult child in healthier ways? Yeah! But I do not need to waste time, energy or emotions clinging to my own sense of self-importance.

God is with my child, loves my child, knows what my child needs more than I know. So it is fitting and right that I release my need to fix something that God already has under His control.
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my father eternal

1/25/2015

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I have spent the past 24 days enjoying my newest grandchild and his delightful parents. While we were together my oldest child celebrated his 40th birthday so I have been thinking a lot about new families and the challenges they face and the blessing they are to their extended family and community.

It is a messy and wonderful system for growing new adults: it teaches moms and dads to work together in the interest of their child. This is not a system where compromise works very well, but consensus can be reached where all have their best ideas respected and incorporated. The child is learning all this as the days grow into weeks and weeks into years and years into lifetimes.

Each child has a right to be loved, valued, cared for, cared about, instructed and empowered to reach their full potential with kindness and persistence. 

Now. what does that remind me of? Oh, yes, that is a shining reflection of how my heavenly Father treats me! 

And I am very grateful for God's persistent love for me since I know I have frequently acted and sounded like an angry 2-year-old or irate teenager. Yet God loves me, tends me, teaches me and continues to call me to Him, rejoicing with every step forward and protecting my soul with every misstep.

Everlasting God, thank You for loving me with the tender love of a parent, ever vigilant in encouraging me in my journey to fulfill my purpose according to Your Will. AMEN
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love

1/23/2015

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God is love.  Faith, hope and love, but the greatest of these is love. Jesus asked, "Do you love me?"  The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love. Love is patient; love is kind.

Sometimes I think that if we took all the love stuff out of the Bible it would be shocking how much smaller it would be!

But this is the thing, since God is love, there would quite literally be no Good News without love. Oh, there could be a book of rules and directives and society-protecting ideas about what the consequences of certain behaviors should be. But it could never be anything about the teachings of Jesus. 

God loves us. God invites us to love back. God's love is perfect and ours can not be. But it the best of goals, hopes and consideration. that we can aim for.

Too much of that which is call "religion" devolves into the "how many angels can stand on the head of a pin" kinds of arguments.  But St. Paul reminds us that for love as well as for joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control there is no law against these kinds of things.* Really, as much as people argue about matters of religious teachings, who is against these things. Oh, they may argue that in the face of the world's evils that it is hard to DO or foolish to trust God enough to do these things, but, really, who could actually argue that any of these things are BAD?

So, let us make those choices that reflect God's love, that move us closer to these choices that help us grow in trust and faith as we make the better choice and watch what happens. Does this guarantee that we will never get punched in the eye when we return kindness for anger? Of course not, but I think you will be surprised at how often it just confuses the heck out of people and how often you will avoid saying or doing something based on incomplete understanding of a situation.

And everyday we will know more deeply that God is love and all these things that proceed from that love bears us up in the most difficulty of times.

*Galatians 5:22-23
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this thing called joy

1/22/2015

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During the pre-Christmas season I love lighting advent candles. My favorite is the one most often identified as "joy". I love the hymn adaptation of Bach that starts Joyful, joyful, we adore Thee, God of Mercy God of Love. I come by this naturally as my Mom always said she wanted "Joy to the World" sung at her funeral and we honored that.

What is this thing called joy? God gives tastes of joy to all the world...gentle, glorious sunrises and exuberant orange and purple sunsets, the majesty of mountains and the power of deserts, the inexpressible joy of a new birthed baby, the first warm ripe tomato of summer and the first sweet crisp apple of autumn, oceans, waterfalls and misty lakes, big billowy clouds, soft summer rains, and whispers of snowflakes, those moments when an awareness of the blessings of health and family and honest work give us pause in hectic days. I believe these moments are sent to us so that when we encounter God, we have at least a small frame of reference for recognizing joy when we meet it in its highest form.

So if all of us have opportunities to know joy, then why bother to develop a relationship with God? It is because the nature of joy changes for those who trust God. It comes to include the joy of knowing your child will never face adversity without God being there to help. It includes the tender joy of a beloved parent passing over, confident that God awaits. It is the joy of knowing that, even in the face of a terrifying medical diagnosis, you will not be alone for one moment on the journey. It is the joy of knowing that even a child with the most serious of handicaps can be appreciated for the powerful gifts of love they bring to the family who embraces them. It is this truth: no matter what your child faces in prison and facing the terrible reality of all you cannot do for him from afar, is the sure knowledge that God is not far from them or indifferent to them or impotent before the challenges they face.

And, at least in my experience, the deeper we allow ourselves to know God, the more present is this joy from God even in the most challenging times. 

"Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning."-Psalm 30:5
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the cost of peace

1/21/2015

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Andy Stanley once asked something like this: "If I truly trusted God fully and in all things, how would my life change?"

This is important to me  because I believe this: Trust = Peace. 

When my peace is shaken it is because I am trying to get my own way or afraid of what is going to happen. I think this is a common situation when people get in trouble.  We make a mistake and then don't want to suffer the consequences.  We think we can wiggle out without making amends. We want to take a definite path or achieve a goal of our own desire and we want it more than we want what God wants for us. We think we know better than God what is good for us! Or we think God can't love us. Or that God is too "big" to have any interest in us.

So, conversely to the extent we believe in the promises of God, we can forgo the temptation to cut corners to get our way or expend our energy in angst over things outside of our authority, or trying to boss our nearest and dearest around in an effort to provide a level of perfect safety that is never going to happen in this world.

Jehovah Shalom, God of peace, teach me to trust you with all my heart. Help me embrace your Truth over the Evil One who who seeks to fill us so full of fear and anxiety that we have no room for joy, hope or gratitude. Your Word is Truth and You wish us no evil. AMEN


When I go to bed, I sleep in peace, because, Lord, you keep me safe. Psalm 4:8 (ERV)
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giving ground to win the war

1/18/2015

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We have rights. We all have rights. Under the law. The constitution calls them inalienable rights, meaning that no one has the right to trample on our rights. In our current culture they seem to be carried to extremes sometimes, as though people have the right to never be unhappy or never work for an icky boss or never be tolerant of a struggling family member. As though they have a perfect right to be happy, whatever that means, no matter how much others have to put up with about them

Don't I have a right to have my rights?

Yes. But is that the only question? How about this one: Do I have the right to not insist on my rights? I think so. Webster's Dictionary even has a word for it: forbearance. And why would I ever do that?

Let me tell you about Gladys, a woman I worked closely with many years ago. She was the most cantankerous, difficult woman I met, maybe in all my life. It was necessary for us to work at side-by-side desks as support for a team of managers. It was a very political office and we each had the ear and backing of various ranking people and needed to work together since neither of us could afford to quit and there were no other jobs within the agency to apply for. She was so difficult that if I said, "Good morning, Gladys." she replied there was nothing good about it and to leave her alone. Yet, if I just kept my face buried in my work when she came in she denounced me as rude to not speak. I was decades younger than I am now and I just had no idea how to make things better.

Then she had to have surgery and, raised as I was, I felt honor bound to make a very short visit to the hospital taking a handful of paperback books wrapped in a bow to help her pass the boring hours of a hospital stay. I wound up staying for over an hour and learned that, although it was her birthday (something I did not know) neither husband, nor son nor daughter had come to visit. I also learned that because her mother and sister had died of cancer she was truly terrified of what news the doctors might bring.

Now, I can not report that we became the best of friends or even that our working relationship improved substantially, but I learned something very important. That under the skin of the most irritating of people can lie the greatest chasm of sorry, regret and true terror. And I knew that I was grateful to not have to live as she did. I  hope I softened towards her; I think I did. I have certainly never forgotten her.

So I am sometimes able to forbear my rights, because the needs of others are greater, or even might be greater, or maybe getting my props is just not so important that I am willing to give up my own peace of mind to insist on it.

Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. Colossians 3:13
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thank you yolanda, martin, dexter and bernice

1/18/2015

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It is fitting on this day we honor the work and life of Dr. Martin Luther King that I am thinking about rights. I'm wicked tired of folks demanding their rights to be angry, destructive and self-indulgent. That is not at all the way I understand the life of Dr. King who gave up his own rights to advocate for the rights of all men and women to be treated with respect and care.

I particularly am thinking of this from his Nobel Peace Prize acceptance speech: "Every time I take a flight, I am always mindful of the many people who make a successful journey possible - the known pilots and the unknown ground crew." I think of the price paid by his family as he answer the call to advocate for the children who struggled with underfunded educational opportunities and unequal economic opportunity and below par access to medical care.

It could certainly be argued that he had the right to be a fine pastor who spent nights with his family and was a caring and helpful neighbor and might, thereby, have lived more years in the bosom of that family and served his congregation well. But for sake of those with fewer options he asked his family to support his broader calling.

I believe this was a significant part of his power: he asked not for himself, but for those without voice, without choice, without hope. And he offered a dream of a better world, not for just those who are disenfranchised by bigotry or a less than equitable economic reality, but for all. Because he understood, and articulated so well, the reality that none are free until all are free.
 
Do I expect this kind of freedom to ever fully happen? It seems unlikely, but Dr. King pointed us to the reality that the striving itself is important and life-affirming. Is it harder to be in prison with no one writing or accepting your calls and experiencing such a terrible kind of abandonment that you don't know if your nearest and dearest are dead or alive, or to know that there is still somewhere someone who remembers you,  cares about you and claims you?

This is Dr. King's gift to me: I am charged to never give up on seeking justice, sharing burdens and giving according to my ability that I might be the hands and feet of God comforting and aiding all my fellow travelers.

So today I say a special thanks to Martin and Coretta's children: Yolanda Denise King (dec'd), Martin Luther King III, Dexter Scott King and Bernice Albertine King, who accepted many challenges and losses so that generations of other children might better understand the responsibilities and hopes that inform a world now called to dream a better dream because of the work their father did.
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a little kindness please

1/17/2015

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How does a child learn? If they experience love they will learn about love, patience then about patience, kindness then about kindness. Sadly the converse is true in that children treated with contempt, anger and violence will not find those things unexpected.

Yet, even in the world we see that a little kindness goes a long way and has great power to bring the light of God's gifts into very dark places with remarkable power. I remember reading of a study many years ago where children who had come out of extremely challenged childhoods had been interviewed as young adults. Scientists were trying to understand why some thrived in such rocky soil compared to those who withered emotionally and ethically. 

The common thread was not government programs or harshness of winters or stellar textbooks. The one consistent thread for each of these survivors who became thrivers was some one person who truly believed in that child.  Often a single someone who expressed hope for their future, who shared with the child the passionate belief that the child was worthy and able and had important work they were called to do. It was often a grandparent, an older sibling, a teacher, an adult friend of the parent through church or neighborhood. It could even be an incarcerated parent who wrote faithful and shared faith and belief that the child could have a better life.

Even when that person did not live until the child achieved adulthood, the lessons were remembered, nurtured, revisited, added to through experience so that even during great challenges with little visible outside support, these children were focused, not on being the best student or best athlete or most popular, but rather they were focused on fulfilling their potential as good people.

We often hear of athletes who grew up in desperate poverty and continue to exhibit behaviors steeped in fear, greed and hopelessness. But less often we get a glimpse of stories the world seems to find more unusual than glorious, stories of professional athletes who routinely contribute to charitable foundations, support worthy causes with far more than a check and have productive lives after pro sports. These are people who have learned that learning to be kind beats trophies and the accolades of the world. We don't hear so much about them because the best of them are not doing it for recognition, but rather to pay forward kindness shown to them.

We do not have to have grown up in wretchedness or achieved world fame to embrace this life-style. We do not need big bucks in a charitable foundation or a PhD or an MVP trophy. What we need is a willingness to open our hearts, our heads, our lives to help as best we can our fellow travelers who are physically needy, or lonely, or needing a friend. If we are willing, God will open the doors to the wisdom, strength and resources we need to make kindness a major fuel in our lives.
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how will i know the high road when i see it

1/16/2015

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We watch an actor portray likable characters over the years and then are shocked and dismayed to learn they are not like that in day-to-day life. I remember my grandmother telling about visiting a set where an old-time cowboy actor was filming and refused to ever watch another movie of his because he was very rude to someone on the set. Did she think he was perfect before that day?  We watched Charlie Sheen implode before our eyes and suddenly it dawned that his TV character's life was not so funny in real time. I have worked in several industries over the years and I have never seen one movie or TV show that accurately portrayed life in those industries. Whose family was always as functional as the Huxtables or as hideous as Married with Children?

Real life is pretty intense, but rarely in a Hollywood way and never as Hollywood portrays it.

I remember a comment by Viktor Frankel in his book Man's Search for Meaning which spoke of the deep lessons he learned being in concentration camps during WW2. He says that the truly good people did not survive the camps because they would not fight for an extra piece of bread or to avoid the outside edge of a group being moved in bitter cold weather. No one makes movies about people who we truly think of as "good", yet "goodness" is one of the words used to describe the attributes nurtured by God in His children.*

I think of goodness as the ability to not strike back with each real or perceived insult or wrong. 

I think of goodness as the ability to be tone deaf to a world that demands we "take action" in ways that don't reflect honor or justice or wisdom.

I think of goodness as the ability to be generous to folks who never in the wildest imagination will be in a position to give back anything more than thankfulness, and maybe not even that.

I think of goodness as the ability to consider that maybe the person who is causing us distress is IN distress and respond with love, forgiveness and generosity of spirit.

Oh, God of gods and King of kings, You offer goodness to us every day, not because of who we are, but because of who You are. Teach us to preach that by being a reflection of Your goodness to each and all we meet. AMEN 

*Gal. 5: 22
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happy birthday, dr. king

1/15/2015

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“If a man is called to be a street sweeper, he should sweep streets even as a Michaelangelo painted, or Beethoven composed music or Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will pause to say, 'Here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well." So said Martin Luther King, who was born on this date in 1929.

It is difficult to express exactly what we mean in a way that others are unlikely to misinterpret since we all come from a different experience and making ourselves clear across that space has challenges.  Having studied S. I. Hayakawa many years ago I remember a discussion about the phrase "the ice is hot" which sounds nonsensical unless you are watching a movie about stolen diamonds. So it is no wonder that what we say to one another and what God says to us sometimes gets a bit warped in the process.

This quote of Dr. King's often gets skewed to "be the best there is," which is certainly consistent with the current social perspective, but that is not all what he said. He said something closer to "be the best you can be at whatever your are called to do, which will make you exceptional and you will be honored for that commitment, effort and focus." At least that is what I think he was striving to explain since, as a mighty man of God, he would have been very familiar with this verse: 
”In all the work you are given, do the best you can. Work as though you are working for the Lord, not any earthly master." Col 3: 23

We struggle with this concept in our age. Maybe because the sense of a "master builder" whose apprentices became great builders themselves is not so respected today. 

But God, who knows exactly where we are going and what we need to get there, places many masters in our path. The better we are at learning from them, the better we will be at the work for which we are created. You know the masters I mean: a father who took time to teach us to trust our instincts, a coach who saw greater skills in us than we could imagine for ourselves, the grandmother who always had time to hear our stories and look into our eyes with love and acceptance, the teacher who insisted we not settle for 2nd best. I also benefited from supervisors and co-workers who shared their experience and perspective generously and the folks I was responsible to teach who taught me much, most importantly about myself and what I needed to work to refine.

Because God sees the ALL, God is clear about what will benefit us over the long-term and generously provides many lessons along the way. God is so generous that when we fail to learn from the lesson, we are given another, and if necessary another opportunity to get it mastered. Of course, I have found each lesson to be a bit more emphatic and uncomfortable until God has my full attention. Unlike even the best human teachers who sometimes wonder if the student is ABLE to master the lesson, God just keeps turning and re-presenting because God knows that we NEED the lesson and that, indeed, with the help of the Holy Spirit, we are ABLE.

So, today, let us thank God that Dr. King directed us to this bit of wisdom and even more let us thank God that God's commitment to us is total, unequivocal and full of love as we learn all we need to know.

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faithfulness in things great and small

1/14/2015

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I have been guilty too often of saying "I will" and then not following through. Why do I do this? Do I want to appear a better person than I am, able to do all things in a single bound? Do I fear letting someone down or being disliked? Do I want credit for agreeing without counting the cost to show up and follow through?

At different times I suspect any and all have been true.  So I paid attention when someone taught me how to say "no" politely. I offer a genuine smile and say "Thank you for thinking of me. I am honored. However, my current commitments prevent me from being able to add this to my schedule." Then, if I can do so honestly I add, "You might ask Jane Doe if she might be able to help. She has the gift of (insert relevant gift or ability here)."

Really, I have lost fewer friends since I learned this.

Of course, sometimes I get a distinct feeling that God has an interest in what I am being asked to do and that is a matter of prayer and discernment. And sometimes I do something I'm not crazy about because I see it as a gift to someone I care about. But now I pay attention so I do NOT agree to a commitment without thinking seriously about my ability to meet that commitment, however small.

I am working to become more faithful in all matters. I believe this is pleasing to God and that my efforts are successful because God helps.
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gentleness in the face of a broken world

1/13/2015

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I've been thinking about gentleness. This is something in such short supply in most places of incarceration. It is not even considered a prized trait in our society.

Yet this is considered in Christian teachings one of the gifts God gives His followers.  I believe the capacity for gentleness grows as a byproduct of the fear going away. As long as I am afraid, I must stay watchful, be prepared to defend myself. The more negative experiences I have, the more I learn the world is a relentlessly scary and unsafe place. This is certainly the experience of inmates and the higher the security rating of the prison the less safe it seems to be as the scariest people with the lease hope are backed into a place where even the guards fear can letting their humanity run unchecked lest it cost the life of someone--inmate or staff.

When we think about people living in unsafe neighborhoods and the police who work those areas, soldiers, newspaper cartoonist...really a lot of folks are spending a lot of time with little sense of safety or security. 

When I read in Hebrews 13:6 (CEB) "This is why we can confidently say, The Lord is my helper, and I won’t be afraid. What can people do to me?"  my first thought is, "Quite a bit." A single viewing of cable news or checking the Reuter's feed and there are plenty of disasters to consider how we treat each other's bodies.

But what if the verse means that God says: "While you are on earth many bad things can happen to your bodies during life's travels. But your soul is Mine alone and nothing can tear your soul from my tender care"?

Oh, I cling to this with all my soul. As I have cared for failing bodies or prayed for ailing children or read of families wiped out in auto crashes I find this idea allows me to care with courage.  Frail people who face death themselves or are facing the death of a family member wonder what comes next.  I can focus on the gentleness needed to travel with them because I believe that, though the body fails, the soul is safe and sound, preparing to run to the arms of a loving God.

I hope I do not have to physically defend myself or someone else from physical harm, but I do know that if I have to face that it will be with the conviction that I am not alone, not a victim, not without hope.

This is why I am so passionate about speaking the Good News behind the bars of prisons and jails and in any place where people know more fear than peace.




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Oh, vinnie barbarino, where are you now!

1/12/2015

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I have found two consistent traits in so many of the incarcerated folks I have worked with, especially among the young. They are often bright, funny, interesting folks but they get tripped up by this:

First, they seem to lack the ability to anticipate the consequences of their actions. I am often reminded of John Trevolta's character, Vinnie Barbarino from the Welcome Back, Kotter TV series. Good looking, charming Vinnie would be challenged for saying or doing something that was obviously going to get him into trouble and he would turn a truly surprised face to the camera, raise his shoulders and say, "Whaaat!" as though he had no idea what he had done wrong. And audience roared with laughter.  It is far less funny in real life because these folks seem to have such a poorly developed sense of ethics or common sense or community that one despairs of how they will ever be safe on the streets.

The second, which magnifies the first,  is extreme impulsivity. Truly, what pops into their heads seems to become a reality with no pause for that life-saving "on second thought." Ask, "What did you expect to happen when you did that?" and they seem truly confused by the question.

But those things get us all into trouble, don't they? Or folks would never say something they regret as they see the pain it caused, get in a fight with someone scary, eat or drink something that they know makes them ill, or quit a job before they had another one. We humans, especially young humans, learn much by working our way through the trouble we bring upon ourselves.

That is why the Bible says that certain traits or characteristics are enhanced through living a life in Christ. As we develop trust in God we become secure enough to start noticing the journey and challenges of those around us in more detail, making the process of developing sympathy, even empathy much easier. We see that our actions not only cause us pain and unpleasant consequences, but also cause harm to those we love and care about in our community of faith and in the larger community, so then we want to develop self-control. As we seek mentors among mature Christians who will with kindness and compassion nurture this trait in us, we become thankful for the gift, turning our face to God with thanksgiving. If we are wise, we will also remember that the blessing came out of our new understanding of our need, met by God, rather than because we are so smart or able.

My prayer today for us all: O, Holy Spirit of God, stir in us the desire to walk gently with those around us, growing in the gift of self-control, that what we still need to learn will not injure others. AMEN
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quieting the good angel bad angel dialog in my head

1/11/2015

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As a follower of Christ I have found I can waste a lot of time going over the same ground several times, OK, many times. It is as though I receive forgiveness, and then let my mind wander all over the experience with doubt creeping in. "Am I really forgiven?", "Am I sorry enough?" "Have I suffered enough?" and pretty soon I'm hanging onto this inappropriate guilt and fear with both hands, wallowing in the energy sucking, time stealing sin of calling God a liar. This has happened to me so often in my life that I had despaired of figuring out how to get my heart where my head says it needs to be. 

So St Paul's observation was particularly interesting to me: “We take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”* I have found joy in musing on my condition as God's precious child, but I can hardly repose in meditation all day every day and often the temptation to revisit old errors and fears seems to come upon me with little warning. So how do I exercise control over thoughts???

I'm very much a rookie in all this, but here is what I'm thinking so far. I have come to understand that I can quite simply choose to say, "In Jesus name I renounce that thought for the lie it is," and then I thank God for whatever challenge I'm facing and for God's Grace that carries me through all challenges and keeps all blessings in proper perspective. Any trend that indicates a return to this faulty thinking gets more prayer and a physical change in activity. When I'm struggling with this particularly my correspondence may be up to date, my kitchen smelling of cinnamon,  my mending current or my bathroom a new color.

So this seems to help: a combination of (1) claiming Jesus' promises regarding the power of His Great Name and (2) choosing to let God guide me to something far more productive than worry and stress.

I may not take captive every thought as effectively as a drill sergeant training green recruits, but I suspect as in most things, practice will improve efficiency. Fortunately being old and out of shape does not prevent me from learning more about God's grace!

What helps you keep from letting unruly thoughts steal your peace? I'm interested in trying out new ideas! Share below or email if you prefer privacy.  Thanks!

*2 Cor. 10:5
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i'm hurrying, hurrying, hurrying

1/10/2015

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I've been updating my Ancestry.com family tree. My subscription is running out and this makes the matter urgent. It was not urgent for the past five and a half months since I reactivated the account last summer, but now I'm hurrying to straighten out a mistake I made that created a mess before I let the account go dormant for a bit.

Why is it such a common human trait, this "no hurry, no hurry, no hurry, oops! hurry, hurry, hurry" pattern where we create urgency where none really exists, or where it would not exist if we had a more consistent approach?

This gets me into trouble in my spiritual life too. I am one of those poor souls who has never read the Bible all the way through. When I was young I got dragged down by the "begats," all that who's whose daddy stuff that seemed dryer than sawdust to me. As I have gotten older I have found much to be of interest in the Old Testament, but it is so interesting and the study resources in the digital age are SO much fun I generally run down a rabbit hole after a particularly interesting idea or newly noticed bit of information. I'm trying again.

But, while I do endorse Bible classes and study guides and planned reading approaches, the thing I find most amazing about the Bible is its capacity to feed me whenever I reach for it. I may be seeking a verse I remember learning before and now I want to see if my understanding is consistent with the context and with other Scripture or I may be checking out various translations of a beloved verse to add to a note to a friend, or I may just be waiting in an airport with time on my hands and think I'd like to read a bit of Hebrews, which has been particularly helpful to me lately. 

No matter when I turn my face to God, in whatever manner, I find God's love consistent and ever present. When I speak God's name, when I ask God's help, when I seek the council of mature Christians, when I long for God's comfort, my deepest longings are understood, my truest needs are always met. It is often not according to my expected time or in the way I assume. It often includes some change on my part as God works on me to become more wholly God's child. But God's presence is consistent, powerful and sufficient at all times an in all places.

Today make time for God,  time to speak with God, time to study God, time to offer service to God's other children, time to receive a new level of healing, a new joy, a new hope...hurry, hurry, hurry to Him. 
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offering aid to a weary fellow traveler

1/9/2015

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My devotion this morning offered this prayer: Dear Father God, open our ears and hearts to know the hurts of others. Give us wisdom to speak and act in helpful ways. In Jesus’ name we pray. Amen. 

I like this prayer very much. So much loneliness and sorrow pass nearby us that is not seen or heard by us because of own loneliness and sorrow. So much anxiety and fear pass unnoticed because of our own anxiety and fear. The result is that we feel either that we are in a mess much worse than everybody else and of no concern to anybody else. Or we think we can't help because we don't have our owe act together and so have nothing to offer.

We must understand that our loneliness and sorrow are normal to the human condition as is the tendency to hide our vulnerability from others. We all think at least half the people around us have their acts together. This is unlikely in my experience. God gives us each a basket full of abilities and gifts unique to our purpose in this life and then follows up with just enough in the tragedy and sorrow department to help us develop the other skills and experiences necessary to fulfill our purpose in life.

I don't know how often I have looked back on difficult times in my past and said, "Wow, I could never have understood the pain of this person without judgement and with compassion if I had not had a yucky earlier experience myself." My dearest friend has always amazed me by her capacity to offer validation, comfort and hope with the simple statement, "I hate it when that happens." How many times she has been God's special blessing nudging me gently onto the road to wisdom, healing and renewal with her special heart!

So I hope you pray the prayer offered today: Dear Father God, open our ears and hearts to know the hurts of others. Give us wisdom to speak and act in helpful ways. In Jesus’ name we pray. Amen. 

Because, my friend, it is your very brokenness that equips you to share your faith, hope and experience with a weary fellow traveler on the journey of life.  (PS - just be gentle, because we are all such tender beings.)
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no body knows the troubles i've seen

1/8/2015

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We as Christians don't do as good a job as I would wish at welcoming people into the faith or back into the faith (with the possible exception of folks who return to a church that has been praying for them). But especially for someone who is truly a brand new shiny baby Christian, our jargon has to be frustrating at the best of times. So I try to be careful when I use phrases that can be useful shorthand for long-time Christians.

For instance, today I was thinking about these things called the 'fruits of the Spirit', which I understand to mean, the things that God grows in us, which improves our relationship with God, and God's children--ALL God's children. 

When things are going well by our standards, we are arrogant ("I am doing just fine without God."). We are inattentive ("Wow, I have a really good life but I deserve it because I'm a good person. God must like me."). We are procrastinating (I believe in you, God, and I really need to make time for that. I will when things get a little less hectic."). It seems that rarely would I look at a lovely vista or beautiful sunset and think, "Oh, my God, how wonderful You are." Nope, I was the kind of person that had to wallow in loss, grief and despair before I turned my face to God, and sheepishly said, "Uh, God, I know I have not been talking to You that much lately or studying You that much or working for You that much, but I am exhausted, empty and lost. Can I please get back in Your good graces? I really need Your help and I don't know where to begin." And God said, "You already have begun and You were never out of my good Grace. You just quit paying attention  Pay attention now while We get you healthy again. And remember, we are on My time now. Keep paying attention. Are you paying attention?"

This is why St. Paul believed this: "And we are also happy with the troubles we have. Why are we happy with troubles? Because we know that these troubles make us more patient. And this patience is proof that we are strong. And this proof gives us hope. And this hope will never disappoint us. We know this because God has poured out his love to fill our hearts through the Holy Spirit he gave us."*

Did God send divorce, the death of my father, unemployment, or the loss of my children to me as a punishment? No! But He did get my attention!

And as I quit fighting to be independent, admitting that I longed for God more than I wanted my own way, He sent the most amazing gifts of all: an awareness of God's love and patience, the comfort of the Spirit, and an understanding of the need to submit to the disciplines that would strengthen me and in strengthening me give me hope and a future.

So, wherever you are on your journey, this is my hope for you. Do one more thing, one new thing or a more humble approach to something you are already doing, to open the doors to a better life for yourself where you can claim the promises of God in your life. God does not expect you to be able, just a glimmer of willingness is all it takes.

I know this to be most certainly true in my life. And pray you will give it a try in yours.

* Romans 5: 3-5
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not as smart as i thought i was

1/7/2015

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We are now a week into the new year and for folks who make a list of resolutions to start afresh healthier lifestyles, spiritual disciplines, financial make-overs and regular attendance at various Anonymous meetings we have had time to find at least 7 days worth of excuses to delay, deny and give up. 

 I'm not very good at memorizing Bible verses, but when St Paul said* that he wants to do right but fails and he wants to avoid doing evil but does it anyway, this hit home in a big way.  This was me in so many ways: I planned to keep my room neater, work harder in school, be more patient with my sisters, more obedient to my parents (you can see this battle started well more than half a century ago). Trying and doing were consistently far apart and frankly exhausting.

So as time went on I got better at convincing myself that I was "better than most folks" and surely that was good enough for God. But this did not draw me closer to God or make me stronger or better and over the years the sin of self-righteousness disguised itself most efficiently as a virtue. If I did more than others, worked faster or more effectively than others, stayed ahead of the pack and was rewarded for this in the World it reinforced a very shaky foundation.

But in 2 Cor 12:9 St Paul reported ''the Lord said, 'My grace is all you need. Only when you are weak can everything be done completely by my power.' So I will gladly boast about my weaknesses. Then Christ’s power can stay in me." 

Considering this I think I'll reconsider my resolutions and instead ask God what changes will benefit me best as I seek to become more fully God's child, as I long to be a follower of the Way lived by Jesus as recorded in the Bible, and as I let the Spirit of God pry open my stubborn heart.

I don't need to work harder or smarter, only quit trying to do it my way, seeking God's will and using God's strength, giving God the glory.

*Romans 7:19


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who is most important to god?

1/6/2015

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John the Baptist sent his follower to ask if Jesus was indeed the long awaited Messiah and Jesus offered these proofs: “Go tell John what you have seen and heard: The blind can see. The crippled can walk. People with leprosy are healed. The deaf can hear. The dead are brought back to life. And the Good News is being told to the poor."*

As a retread English major I have a special heart for the way this is put together with a building proof. The ill, infirmed and disabled are healed, even more impressive the dead are brought back to life, and most impressive of all the Good News is being told to the poor.

Can't you see someone rushing in to Vladimir Putin or Steven Spielberg or Stephen Hawking and saying, "Wow, healed, raised and concerned with the poor!" and any of these important people saying, "Really, concerned with the well-being of the poor? But is that really as important as ruling nations or creating great art or thinking great thoughts? I mean, healing and raising, yes, that could benefit me, but what is so important about the poor?" (Just for clarity, I only use these names because they are people the world sees as powerful, but really, would most of us have focused on the final proof, the one with the most weight and said, "Wow, that caring for the poor thing is most important for me to remember"? I've read this passage many times and it was just this week that I noticed where God put the most emphasis, so I am pointing NO fingers in this.)

What I am is blown away, because when I think about this, who really is known for the caring of the poor? If we lay aside a hand-full of rare God-centric people, then really not much of anybody. From the earliest recorded times the poor have always been at best ignored and most often exploited. I am not an expert in the religions of the world, but I don't see much in the way of real focus there either. As human beings we are all about the bling, baby. 

But GOD says carrying the Good News to the poor is part of what sets our Jehovah-nissi, our great I AM, apart from posers and wanna-be deities who are really just a human idea of what the greatest being of all beings might be like. Who in all the earth would think up THAT? That Christ attending to the poor was proof of who sent Him!

Here Jesus, Son of God, tells us who He is and who His Father is: the champion of the poor, be they poor in worldly goods, poor in physical or mental health, poor in good judgement or strong character, poor in education, poor in political power, poor in placement in the world pecking order...there is no child of God's creation who is not important to God. By this we know who we are, clearly see who is important...each and every one of us.

Pardon me while I sit quietly a moment and consider what I need to reorder in my own life with this new understanding.
*Luke 7:22
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wealth beyond all measure

1/5/2015

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Poverty is such a diverse animal. When we see folks who truly labor each day just to eat, to survive and die at young ages because of the things they lack and how hard they work to get what they need, it is wrenching. The meanness that grows in such circumstances, especially where there is little hope of something better for ourselves, or at least for our children, is understandable. Yet there is true tenderness and love even in such dire circumstances.

The more confusing poverty is emotional poverty in the midst of affluence. It grates to watch those of the well-to-do who assume postures of indifference, arrogance or aggression, but it is all too common. How do we begin to understand this?

I believe this is because when we do not feel hopeful, when we do not have a sense of purpose (which is altogether different from a sense of self-importance), when we do not feel essentially safe and whole, we fight--passively or aggressively--pretty much all the time.  It is so core to our worldly culture that folks who don't STRIVE at all times are considered lazy or foolish at best.

But the thing that fills us with an essential sense of well-being, a sense of purpose and a place in the scheme of things comes when we quit fighting: fighting to maintain control, fighting to have our way, fighting to do it OUR way. We understand this well when we are negotiating with a truculent 2-year-old, too hungry to eat, too tired to sleep and now just plain mad. I truly suspect this is how I appear to God all too often.

So, how do I feed my soul? Prayer is as essentially the food of the soul as vegetables are the food of the body, as also is service (kindness) to others, especially those who can give us nothing but love in return, may not even do that. We fellowship with other seekers of truth, we praise God, we read the Bible and books by thoughtful and experienced fellow travelers, we give of our money, of our time and, most importantly, of our selves. Oh, that is a pretty good way to understand...we try to live like Jesus.

Holy and Amazing God of all Creation, open my heart more today and every day, to unrelenting, unreasoning, unrestrained generosity of spirit that there might be no place in my being to harbor the smallest sense of superiority, arrogance or mean spiritedness. Thank you for making such a hope a reality by the power of your Spirit. AMEN  
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    Jann's son was incarcerated.  She longed for a community where she could connect with others dealing with similar issues.

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