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not as smart as i thought i was

1/7/2015

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We are now a week into the new year and for folks who make a list of resolutions to start afresh healthier lifestyles, spiritual disciplines, financial make-overs and regular attendance at various Anonymous meetings we have had time to find at least 7 days worth of excuses to delay, deny and give up. 

 I'm not very good at memorizing Bible verses, but when St Paul said* that he wants to do right but fails and he wants to avoid doing evil but does it anyway, this hit home in a big way.  This was me in so many ways: I planned to keep my room neater, work harder in school, be more patient with my sisters, more obedient to my parents (you can see this battle started well more than half a century ago). Trying and doing were consistently far apart and frankly exhausting.

So as time went on I got better at convincing myself that I was "better than most folks" and surely that was good enough for God. But this did not draw me closer to God or make me stronger or better and over the years the sin of self-righteousness disguised itself most efficiently as a virtue. If I did more than others, worked faster or more effectively than others, stayed ahead of the pack and was rewarded for this in the World it reinforced a very shaky foundation.

But in 2 Cor 12:9 St Paul reported ''the Lord said, 'My grace is all you need. Only when you are weak can everything be done completely by my power.' So I will gladly boast about my weaknesses. Then Christ’s power can stay in me." 

Considering this I think I'll reconsider my resolutions and instead ask God what changes will benefit me best as I seek to become more fully God's child, as I long to be a follower of the Way lived by Jesus as recorded in the Bible, and as I let the Spirit of God pry open my stubborn heart.

I don't need to work harder or smarter, only quit trying to do it my way, seeking God's will and using God's strength, giving God the glory.

*Romans 7:19


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    Jann's son was incarcerated.  She longed for a community where she could connect with others dealing with similar issues.

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