Sometimes I'm just weary: burdened with worry for those I love, for myself, for the future -- just exhausted. At these times this verse speaks to my heart: 

​​“Have you not known? Have you not heard? The everlasting God, the LORD, the Creator of the ends of the earth, neither faints nor is weary."*

It is my deepest hope that God is not only "really there" and "really cares" but that God can really deliver. Some years ago a sweet man in a Bible class said he did not to pray to God about little things because he knew God was busy and it was interesting to watch the kindest of ministers try to assure him that God cared about all the things in the man's life without it sounding like he was "correcting" him in public.

But isn't it easy to understand? The whole world seems in utter chaos on every continent and in every strata of societies. The concept of a New York City or a Hong Kong is pretty overwhelming for a girl who grew up in the expanses of the Midwest and to consider all peoples, at all times, in all places having God's ear and God having a heart for all of that is frankly decidedly above my pay grade.

But this I know with all my heart, based on all my experience: God is never too busy for us. God is never out of town or on another line or taking the day off. God is never distracted or disinterested or too tired. In Isaiah's words, God neither faints nor grows weary.  God always brings an A game. God always can and does act for our highest good.

God loves us utterly, ably, honestly, without selfishness or hidden agendas.

Oh, and God's is a 24-7 operation. Give God a shout ... or a whisper today.

*Is 40:28​a

Feeling satisfied with what I have is not a popular goal in our culture. We are definitely the bigger, better, faster people. That is unsettling enough, but all too often we are not planning to work harder to bet bigger, better and faster, but instead we resent folks who have what we want and we want what they have without considering how hard they work to get or maintain what they have.

It is practically the first rule of our culture that it is appropriate and reasonable to want what ever we want, even when getting it causes pain and damage to others. Sometimes we even take things we don't want so someone else doesn't get to keep them.

Can we even imagine a community where people chose a different path? What if we respected one another's contributions? What if we asked someone who has more if they would mentor us? What if we consider that God has given us all we can handle without getting into a wicked mess? (Think about the many consequences for folks who have won a sizable lottery or inherited too much money too young?)

So maybe God was truly wise and looking out for us when God wrote that Commandment that says: “You must not want to take your neighbor’s house. You must not want his wife. And you must not want his men and women servants or his cattle or his donkeys. You must not want to take anything that belongs to another person.” Exodus 20:17

 I think back to when my children were small and what a comfort it was for me to hear their prayers, to let them know I prayed for them. I relied so heavily on God to be the one that protected them because I knew I was not up to the job.

We survived financial reverses, odd baby-sitters, divorce, deaths, moves, aging family members, school issues, Scout camp, bad weather, community problems, neighborhood problems and a host of other challenges. Sometimes I was as upset as my children no matter how I tried to be cool, calm and collected. Sometimes my children asked questions I could not answer, and too often they did not ask and I did not know how to bring up important issues.

But I was deeply certain through it all that God was fully aware of our needs and was passionately involved caring for us and about us. After the initial shock, my response was, "God, you've got this. I'm so grateful because I need you to show me the way through this challenge or fearful time or adjusting to a new normal."

We have had many blessings and some of them have come wrapped in crumby stuff. We have been confused, frightened, terrified, and frozen, but a single word of prayer, a timid willingness to ask God for help brings things into focus. We sometimes are up to our necks in alligators as my sisters in the South say, but we are never without hope.

Lord, help me to keep my focus on you as I sort through today's challenges. Let me love and speak and act so that my children grow in confidence that You care for them, love them and work always for their highest good. Whisper in their ear that they may pray for their children and for me and for themselves. You are a good, good Father and I am so grateful. AMEN

Proverbs 14: 26 People who respect the Lord will be safe, and they will make their children feel secure.

Anger and bitterness wrap us in a cloud of self-justification and self-pity. There is just so much opportunity for us to focus on harm both real and inflated and even self-inflicted; and plenty of temptation to nurture it, adopt it as a member of our family and even develop a little egotistic pride in it.

But today, as I am making a greater effort to weed some bitterness from my own heart, I find am longing to clean up the part of the garden of my life that I have encouraged to become overgrown with the weeds of regret and anger. I'm longing to reclaim all the time this matter has claimed in the past couple of years, as I am seeing more clearly that it has just taken up space without contributing to the bounty of my garden. I want to grow zinnias and 4 0'clocks and violets in this space but wanting to and doing the necessary work to clear the space are two different things.

So today I'm spending a little time asking the Spirit of God to show me the steps I need to take to move on from this, to learn helpful lessons and weave them into the fabric of my life in a way that will help me benefit even from this thing I hate so passionately.

I thank God for the people who have taken the time to share information and observations with me that have nudged me to reclaim this corner of my life's garden for something better than bitterness and to know that the work needed will be, no matter how arduous, far more pleasant in the long run than these months that have been
plagued by the odor that keeps seeping into my life from my pool of anger.

Almighty God, My Father, help me to embed James' advice deeply in my soul that I might cling more tightly to You than to anger, seek Your blessed righteousness rather than settling for self-righteousness, welcome Your peace over my right to be angry. You give me the gift of self will: keep me from letting it run riot in ways that limit my willingness to accept the unique blessings You have for me. Christ had the most reason of all persons born on earth to resent our brokenness, yet He consented to cover it by His Passion. I ask in His Name for the gift of Spirit. AMEN

James 1:20 Anger does not help you live the way God wants.

One of the oddities of modern life is this: Too often I only see dear family members at funerals with an occasional wedding or reunion thrown in. So it was yesterday that my sisters and I traveled to a family funeral. My father's cousin had passed, and it was an opportunity to enjoy family time and share stories, some new to us and some had the comfort of oft repeated parts of family history.

But the gift of our departed cousin was striking. We had an opportunity too often not shared between family members; we heard about a time decades ago when Ace felt God's hand of protection in his life. We learned he had chosen the hymns for the funeral with a special heart to bless his family at the time of his passing. We learned that before ever he and his wife began experiencing the health problems that would eventually render their bodies unhabitable, their faith was clearly what bore them tenderly up.

I'm sure my cousins will miss a father they love dearly and tended gently. But they certainly had a glorious reminder of the blessings their father brought into their lives. And we were reminded by Ace's testimony that the Hand of God visits us in very real and impressive ways even when our faith is a work under construction.

So in the days to come I'll work harder to tend all my family relationships with more mercy, take more risks in the offering-forgiveness department, say "I love you" more often, stay in touch more persistently and thank God every day for the family God gave me, including our gifts and warts and blessings and challenges. It is such a delightful pool of love in action.

I have a new job. I have been nearly two weeks out of town following a decidedly grueling schedule in the frigid northern part of our country. I have met tons of interesting people, learned a bunch about conducting survey interviews and some things about myself along the way.

I have confirmed in new and unsettling ways how deeply I doubt that computers are making a net positive impact on our lives. Oh, we can do much more and we can make astonishingly bigger errors and we can fly down the super highway at breathtaking speeds, but I'm just not sure that the good that brings outweighs the bad. People are "connected", but wear ear buds to signal "don't bother me" messages to the flesh and blood people in their immediate vicinity.  We can count more things faster, but I'm not sure we will know for a century or more if it has led to deeper understanding or just having access to more data.

I have been reminded that I am older than I once was and that when I don't attend to my health, there is a price to pay.  Unlike my early college days with all those late study nights and lunches of Cokes, Snickers and Fritos, the price for failing to get sufficient sleep and exercise and keeping to healthy eating patterns comes due much more promptly.

I have again been reminded that there is no benefit to sweating the small stuff, and in the larger sense the vast majority of stuff is truly small stuff.

So today I affirm and proclaim that God is good all the time, and all the time God is good.

Women get so many messages from our culture. It swings from narrow stereotypes to unreal expectations, from putdowns to exhortations to strive for success according to someone else's perspective and ideas. For years some women have defined empowerment as the right to behave as badly as they perceive all men to behave.

Let's clear up one thing here: both men and women have choices and pay high prices in terms of self-worth, health, financial stability, and relationships when they are self-will-run-riot. We may have gender differences but pain is pain and stuffing pain is stuffing pain so we are ALL vulnerable to a wide range of dangerous, impulsive behaviors. We are equal opportunity sinners and God is the original equal opportunity healer.

But women get some very bad messages from media, culture, fractured families, churches, schools and just about everywhere because it seems nearly everyone has ideas about how other people should behave and the worse we feel about ourselves the more we are tempted to lash out in judgment against our sister's for the most ridiculous of reasons.

One result has been a movement to "improve self worth" by praising even poor behavior in the hopes a child will magically improve. This has lead to children trusting adults less because they are fully aware of "how they are doing." The new trend seems to be to offer no value judgments at all, which I expect will just leave children even more confused.

So how should we value ourselves, especially since we are so excruciatingly aware of every blemish, extra pound, zit, angry tone or a gazillion other things we stress over?  How about we view ourselves from God's perspective: God created us so that we might fulfill our purpose, have joy, give and receive love freely, recognize God in each face we see, know what it means to be completely free from other people's judgments and expectations, to be free to make mistakes and learn from them, to grow closer to God, to cut other people a little slack because God has forgiven us for so much.

That is exactly what God offers us. He sees us as we truly are under all the baggage and behind the faces we wear. Knows our every wart and loves us utterly. God says we are wonderful and amazing because that is how God created us and that is what Christ's blood restored to us. And God does not lie.

I can affirm with confidence and hope:  I AM AMAZING!  (God says so.)

Psalm 139: 14 I will give thanks unto thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: Wonderful are thy works; And that my soul knoweth right well.

One of the loneliest times I recall I was in a very large crowd. I had recently been separated from my husband and my children were safe, staying with their grandparents. It was a lovely fall day and I decided to walk a couple of miles to a popular shopping area where an art fair was being held. The walk was healing to a spirit that felt that recent days were like being sucked into an eddy of emotional chaos. Things went well until I got about two blocks into the art fair when suddenly I needed to GET OUT. Everyone smiling and having a good time was not soothing to my tender soul. I know not everyone was part of a happy couple, but it seemed so. I fled as fast as I could go without running and was several blocks away before I could slow my steps and my breath.

Being in the midst of a throng of happy shoppers left me feeling like the unhappiest and loneliest person on planet Earth. It was well into the next spring before I ventured into a crowd without an anxious flutter of unhappiness.

I was already a follower of the teachings of Christ and a passionate believer in the saving grace of my Savior. But that was no magic pill in the midst of the saddest time of my life. Knowing and doing is not the same thing; knowing God was present and cared and able to guide and comfort did not instantly translate into the ability to experience those blessings deeply.

But each day as I prayed for God's comfort and sought God's Will for my life the chaos began to ebb. As I was sent good people to demonstrate mercy to me and reminded me that God was still there even when I was running the crazies, I kept speaking my heart to God. Slowly I become convinced God was listening and had a better plan for me.

I have had other days when I faced challenges and times of high anxiety and this I know. God has been faithful to God's covenant to be with me always, to provide wisdom and resources and strength and always, always enough. 
Sometimes the enough overflows to abundance, but it is never less than enough. No matter how alone I feel, I am aware of God's unfailing care of me.

I can affirm with confidence and hope: GOD IS WITH ME

Matt 28:20 Look, I myself will be with you every day until the end of this present age.

Sometimes I am shaken by fear that I am not getting it right. It can come from out of the blue or as a result of a challenging memory or because of a careless or angry remark flung my way. Fortunately I have become quicker to identify this for the lie it is, the temptation it is.

It is not about me "getting it right" but it is absolutely about God doing right in me, for me, letting me do right though the power of the Spirit of God. No matter if a day gets off to a joyous sunrise and flowers start, or if the sleet is trapping me inside on a grey and blustery day, God's love for me does not change. My feelings are one of the gifts God showers on me but it is my responsibility to be clear about the difference between what I feel and what is true. I may feel someone does not like me, when in truth they are just consumed by their own sorrows and fears. I may feel I will fail if I step up to claim a challenging opportunity, but that feeling is no more an omen of failure than a feeling that "I can't fail" is assurance of being a success in the eyes of the world.

So whether I am enjoying a day of laughter and love with family and friends or holding the hand of a frightened neighbor as we wait for family to arrive, or being frozen by fear for myself or my loved ones, my choices remain the same: act in love and kindness and mercy OR let fear, resentment or old hurt feelings take up room where Love longs to reside.

I can affirm with confidence and hope:  GOD CARES ABOUT ME

Philippians 1:6 I’m sure about this: the one who started a good work in you will stay with you to complete the job by the day of Christ Jesus.

It seems particularly in the current age that wisdom is in short supply. A few minutes viewing the evening news or Facebook or eavesdropping in a business restaurant leave us scratching our heads both over the foolishness and the tendency to share the foolishness with such public abandon.

But I must confess that I behave foolishly. I react instead of pausing to act with fore-thought. I speak sharply without considering the effect my words might have. I take an ethical shortcut when I think no one will notice -- really I am working to more closely adhere to the posted speed limit on the highway.

So I am daily in the market for a bushel basket of wisdom. I am grateful God is always willing to help me make better choices, act in better ways and be more intentional in my living. And God does this without keeping score. YEAH!!!

I can affirm with confidence and hope: GOD GIVES WISDOM WHEN I ASK.

James 1:5 But anyone who needs wisdom should ask God, whose very nature is to give to everyone without a second thought, without keeping score. Wisdom will certainly be given to those who ask.

I believe all human beings have an inborn desire to create, labor profitably, to contribute. I also believe all of that wars in us with selfishness and greed and fear. I believe that God speaks persistently to our higher longings and urges us to use our best gifts in ways that bless ourselves, and God's other children, and reflects God's goodness into the world. But our brokenness gets in the way.

This brokenness is why someone with a passion and great skill in a sport can slip off into the person who succumbs to illegal and dangerous performance enhancing drugs: they want what they want when they want it. This is why the entrepreneur, delighted that his product or service can bring benefits to customers and jobs to employees, is drawn into illegal and dangerous business practices. This is why the passionately protective mother fails to allow a struggling child to find their own way through, without overstepping in ways that undermine confidence.

When we trust God to help us find our gifts, apply the lessons provided along the way and trust in God's timing, the temptations to force an outcome that is not the highest and most productive outcome for us and for all God's creation, keeps us from throwing the well-being of others under the bus in our determination to "succeed." The more we rely on God to put our abilities to work in the best ways, while also building a life of purpose and joy, the more we know true success...not the success of money or fame or political power, but of deep peace and abiding love and a growing sense of awe that God's plans are so much more effective than our own -- and they don't trample the needs and joys of others along the way.
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I can affirm with confidence and hope: I TRUST GOD TO MAKE MY EFFORTS BEAR GOOD FRUIT.

1 Timothy 6:6 Actually, godliness is a great source of profit when it is combined with being happy with what you already have.

Let's face it. People let us down. And...we let other people down. Some folks do a very good job of being trustworthy but none of can perfectly meet the expectations and desires of others even when we are careful to refrain from promising things that can turn out to be unrealistic and sometimes we just find our own patience, capacity and energy fail before we get a far as we hoped. Other people seem to be trying to be the King or Queen of tardy, unreliable, self-centered acts. Sometimes people we love just keep punishing us for trusting them.

Fortunately, God is trustworthy. God does not demand us to do anything to claim our relationship with God except just that, speak to God, seek God, trust a little corner of our tender broken hearts to God and from the start we are introduced to the fact that God already loves us and longs to pour out blessing on us. We not only do not need to "earn God's blessings", we CAN NOT earn God's blessings. We cannot earn where God has already transferred title to us. 

So, no matter how much I am ashamed to failing to be perfectly faithful in all relationships and no matter how much I am hurt by the failure of others to love me perfectly, I know that God loves me perfectly and is delighted when I ask God to instruct me in how to love God more deeply and follow God more nearly.

I can affirm with confidence and hope: YOU ARE ALWAYS FAITHFUL, GOD.

Psalm 89:8 Lord God All-Powerful, there is no one like you. You are strong, Lord, and always faithful.

It seems like one of the truly important things that have been lost in our culture is the gift of conversation. We talk at each other but too often do not really hear one another. Certainly older folks suffer from this as their circle of family and friends constricts. When some needs help getting to a doctor's office or to get groceries it is sometimes difficult to share our lives with them without sounding like we resent the time spent.

Teenagers seem to me to be particular adrift as everyone's schedule becomes more and more frenetic and the embarrassment and uncertainties of the child-to-adult transitions present challenges. My grandparents went on their honeymoon in a horse-drawn buggy a hundred years ago so I am particularly concerned with keeping up with tech-savvy grandchildren for another forty years. I'm grateful for Google conference and Whats App, but I long to cuddle up with my youngest grandchild and sing him to sleep before he is too embarrassed to do that.

But through all the changes I am so grateful I don't have to keep up with technology to have an open line to God, who knows my needs before I do and longs to hear me open my heart to my God, who has both desire and capacity to help me to my personal highest good no matter the current circumstances,
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I can affirm with confidence and hope: YOU HEAR ME, GOD.

Psalm 4:3 Know this: the Lord takes personal care of the faithful. The Lord will hear me when I cry out to him.