Let's clear up one thing here: both men and women have choices and pay high prices in terms of self-worth, health, financial stability, and relationships when they are self-will-run-riot. We may have gender differences but pain is pain and stuffing pain is stuffing pain so we are ALL vulnerable to a wide range of dangerous, impulsive behaviors. We are equal opportunity sinners and God is the original equal opportunity healer.
But women get some very bad messages from media, culture, fractured families, churches, schools and just about everywhere because it seems nearly everyone has ideas about how other people should behave and the worse we feel about ourselves the more we are tempted to lash out in judgment against our sister's for the most ridiculous of reasons.
One result has been a movement to "improve self worth" by praising even poor behavior in the hopes a child will magically improve. This has lead to children trusting adults less because they are fully aware of "how they are doing." The new trend seems to be to offer no value judgments at all, which I expect will just leave children even more confused.
So how should we value ourselves, especially since we are so excruciatingly aware of every blemish, extra pound, zit, angry tone or a gazillion other things we stress over? How about we view ourselves from God's perspective: God created us so that we might fulfill our purpose, have joy, give and receive love freely, recognize God in each face we see, know what it means to be completely free from other people's judgments and expectations, to be free to make mistakes and learn from them, to grow closer to God, to cut other people a little slack because God has forgiven us for so much.
That is exactly what God offers us. He sees us as we truly are under all the baggage and behind the faces we wear. Knows our every wart and loves us utterly. God says we are wonderful and amazing because that is how God created us and that is what Christ's blood restored to us. And God does not lie.
I can affirm with confidence and hope: I AM AMAZING! (God says so.)
Psalm 139: 14 I will give thanks unto thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: Wonderful are thy works; And that my soul knoweth right well.