This has been a very busy week! I've been feeding my VBS family. It has been such a joy to hear the laughter of children and teens and adults as they play games, sing, do crafts and eat together. There are so many was people are connecting in both formal ways such as worship and introductions and informal ways by laughing together and singing together -- gentle conversations and fleeting glances in passing.

It has has set me to thinking about this bible verse from Psalm 68:6: God sets the lonely in families.

We have a family of birth that sets us down at a point in family history with parents, grandparents all the way back to what we think of as ancestors and all the way down to children yet unborn in our family lines. Even people who think of themselves as "alone" have cousins in related lines that share parts of our history. Then we have families of choice: neighborhood or community families, church families, military families, school families, work families, bar families, bowling families, homeless families, PTA families and dozens more with which our ties have varying degrees of closeness and loyalty.

We are created for connection. We long to share our stories, reveal our true selves, help and be helped, love and be loved, sing our heart to trustworthy folks who will sing theirs to us. God has provided for us both human connections of blood, law and choice. But even more important God invites us to embrace our connection to our who is Love, does love, loves us unconditionally.

I think one of the biggest lies people believe (and this damages us all) is that loyalty is about love and hate. If we are truly loyal, we can be loyal without hating the person, group or nation that is opposed to us. If we are standing on the truth, we need fear nothing and without fear there is no hate. Does this mean we should not defend ourselves? Of course not! But it does mean that we can do that without demonizing the other side.

Jesus said that what we do to the least of God's children we do to Jesus too. So if we must defend ourselves from danger, we must take care not to loose our own humanity in the process. That is a plenty difficult position to be in without feeling the price in self-damage+ has been too high.

So look around and see this huge, diverse, quirky, challenged, and challenging family of God, those who realize God is their father and those who don't yet. Pray for them. Laugh with them. Love them. Care for them. And when the opportunity presents itself to worship with them, thank God with joy.

Our Raytown Campus is hosting a VBS for the first time a several years. It is delightful to see children learning how much God loves them and how trustworthy God is!

But it is also true we adult helpers are blessed in unexpected ways. We are serving dinner for families prior to the VBS program and I am both delighted and deeply blessed by a friend since pre-school who is helping me update my catering skills. We pray together for the children and workers and the children we hope will come. Such a joy!

I'm also getting a chance to get to know other volunteers a bit better and meet folks from the neighborhood. We had a great first night and are looking forward to feeding, loving and enjoying the rest of the week.

Will you pray with us for those who might bring their children and let our hearts sing to their hearts as we seek to be part of a growing sense of community? This area that has experienced some challenges in resent years and it is wonderful to see the work of the folks who live in the area paying off.

Today I'm thinking about how we are called to serve God. As I am filling out forms to volunteer for Prison Fellowship and be considered for ministry training through my church, as I schedule training dates for participation in a Kairos Outside and Women's Emmaus Walk ahead of events in October, as I embrace the possibility of being a two car family again and think of the new opportunities it will open and I am filled with joy and hope and love and I wonder why I ever fear to answer yes.

But I also remember times when I have said "yes" too often and come to realize looking back that I had not waited for God's call and wound up over extended and burnt out. And for a period of time I was not generous with my time because I had learned the wrong lesson from these experiences.

But three years ago I had a rather shattering experience...in this case shattering in a good way. I signed up to attend a 72 hour weekend with the Walk to Emmaus community. I had been to retreats before and found them nice and I thought my husband would enjoy it. Yes, I went because I thought my husband would enjoy it. Little did I know! He attended in May and I attended in September. He did enjoy it very much and is a strong supporter of the community. I will say that for me, it lead to profound differences in the way I live out my faith. 

Part of that change is to be fully willing to say "no" if, having prayed about a ministry opportunity, I do not believe it is what I am called to do. No, God does not send an email, text me, phone me or mail me a written set of instructions! But as I have embraced opportunities to draw closer to God, I have found a sense of peace plus excitement (or sometimes near panic) at embracing an opportunity and conversely a sense of dread and a decided anxiety at the specter of doing something else. And sometimes I don't feel I get any kind of answer which seems to mean, not yet or something else is coming. And often It is not so clear and I would LOVE an email laying it all out in minute detail, but each time I work to find my path, struggle to match my will to God's Will, I draw closer to Him and understand more deeply how utterly reliable and consistent is His Love and patience the greater my joy and peace. If I get it wrong, He helps me work through that too.

So if you are longing for a deeper or more connected relationship to God, contact me (contact link above), send a Facebook message or ask me at a meeting and I'll be happy to share more. If you are in the Midwest, we have a men's weekend October 8-11 and a Women's weekend October 15-18. If you are an alumni of Emmasu, El Camino, Tres Dios, Crusillo, Torch, Journey, Kairos or any of the other fellowships in this tradition and a longing to be a servant, let me know that too!

One last comment, if you are looking for a "top of the mountain experience" I can only say that was not my experience. If you looking for more quiet joy and deep grounding, THAT was my experience.

If not this, or if not now, I hope you will still be aware of the many ways God offers us connection with God, ways to minister and serve each other, ways to learn and worship our way to full fellowship with our Creator and Lord.

One "small crime" and so many are affected. 

We have had another child affected by crime. In fact the child is the perpetrator of the crime and, because of being only 16 years of age, is protected from some of the normal aftermath of such an incident. We have little information how this Sunday morning mistake happened: distracted driving, lack of awareness, emotional upset, all of which I was certainly guilty of as a new driver. Yet her error resulted in a car accident that lead to a pedestrian death. Is she remorseful, defensive? Is her family tending her wisely? Is she working with a mental health professional as well as the attorney? Because of her age we may never know, but pray for her I do.

One of the positives in the situation is that with no information printable about the driver, the focus has been on the pedestrian killed: a man in his 40s whose errors in life have been broadly reported along with stories of his renewed faith, a life on the mend and a generous heart. For each of us who has prayed for a wayward child to find his way back to a productive life, it is particularly poignant. So thoughts of his mother and family call forth prayers from my heart.

This story touched my heart in many ways, but every newspaper is filled with people whose lives have been disrupted by their own errors or the errors of others. So often churches are good about helping half of the hurting, but shunning and judging in ways that are harmful to the other half. When I read this story I find only people who needed love, care, tenderness and healing. 

As followers of Christ we are called to offer comfort, hope and truth to all of God's children. Some of us are more lovely than others, but all stand in need (and by God's Grace have a legitimate call upon each and all of us) for what God has given us in such abundance: reconciliation, redemption, renewal and a life of hope and purpose.

Have you attended a church where you were treated unkindly? Don't you want to make sure that someone who is looking for hope, forgiveness and a new life have good people to meet them at the church door so they might have a better experience than you had? So keep looking for a church where you can BE the person doing God's work of welcoming, accepting, instructing and loving. 

We so desperately need each other to be the hands and feet of God for each other.

Won't you pray the news this week and consider how you can be Jesus in someone else's life?

Hebrews 10:25 We must not quit meeting together, as some are doing. No, we need to keep on encouraging each other. This becomes more and more important as you see the Day getting closer.

How often when I find myself whining or feeling frustrated, it is really about things that are not so important. Today we have been car shopping...one of my least favorite activities. 

But when I think more rationally, I have to be so grateful that I have the resources to make car shopping possible. Then the Web, which rather overwhelms with information, does allow me to research cars (two serious issues have saved me from two cars that seemed fine until I did my research) and I can check out lots of cars from the privacy of my own home. Such checking, however, did not prepare me for the number of small cars that are designed so I can not see the front of the car from the driver's seat! We need more short female engineers in the automotive industry.

So we shall keep looking and make a serious commitment to keeping the blessings in focus while we persevere.

All Knowing and Everywhere Present God, thank you for the blessings of resources, health and many choices. Help me to be a patient and reasonable consumer, keeping my frustration checked that my Pastor might not be disconcerted if he overheard my conversation. Help me to trust that You know perfectly my needs and will match them with the resources You so generously provide. AMEN

King David was an up and down sort of guy. He was the author of the Psalms, beautiful and heart-touching songs about his relationship to God. He was also a man who used his power to seduce a married woman and then had her husband killed by ordering him to the front line of a harsh battle. He laid the foundation for the nation of Israel but watched his children's bad behavior destroyed them. Maybe that is why I love the psalms! They were written by a pretty normal kind of guy who had and used great gifts, but whose passions and ego caused damage to his relationship with God leading to some pretty awful stuff. But he also kept coming back to God, repenting and receiving God's grace to allow him to tray again. This is a pattern I can relate to.

That path seems so narrow, between the perfection I can not achieve in this world and the life of sin that has proven so unsatisfying and even frightening. But God is not narrow. God knows us and loves us and asks us to keep trying again, rejoicing in baby steps. It is not God who says, "You are too broken to have value." It is not God who says, "No one could ever find you truly worthy." It is not God who says, "You have messed up so often God has lost patience with you." You will find nothing like that in the Bible!

When God was rebuking the Israelites, the people He chose to be refined and corrected so they could be light and salt to the World, it was not because He hates them, but because He loves them. God never gives up on us! But there are many who would prefer we believe that He does. These are people who want something from us, not love freely given, but things they fear they will loose if we understand our true worth. Listen to your heart. When someone speaks to you, are they longing for good things for you? Or are they just afraid that if you walk away they will be left with the noise in their own head? Or they are demanding allegiance from you, money from you, subservience from you for their own puffing up?

God is not like that. We have nothing that God needs. God has everything that we need and longs to show us how to open our hearts to God's good gifts like healing and hope, redemption, restoration and renewal, and love, laughter and a life lived with purpose and joy.

Almighty and Loving God, You have plans for us, not to cause us pain, but to free us to enjoy the blessings of our relationship with You. We can bring any sorrow or temptation or habit to You and You will help us when we are ready to let go of our old song in order to make room for Your new one. Woo us, Lord, with persistence and power so that we can pry our dying fingers off the things that are killing us and free our souls to live in You. Teach us to sing a new song. AMEN

Psalm 961 Sing to the Lord a new song;

When folks volunteer to minister in prisons the commitment is more than an hour a week. Even if you add in travel time to a facility there is also preparation time, time committed to a mentor or small group to stay grounded. 

Folks in Kairos make a year commitment when they volunteer. There is six months of planning, -team building, spiritual grounding, learning prison rules and program guidelines, practicing music and coaching each other on the talks they will be giving. Prayer is important too as they pray for each other, for the folks that will attend, even before they know who coming; for the families of those who will be attending; for the inside Kairos team that will be serving; for the CO and prison administrators, chaplains and wardens. In Florida we even asked for blessings on the coming weekend in the form of workable weather because rain can shut a weekend down, not to mention hurricanes! 

They often commute long distances to the facility, and may stay in church camps or volunteer homes and commit to very long days in order to listen to the participants and minister to them, pray with them and worship with them, and teach them how to build or join the inside community of faith so that what they learned over the weekend will continue to be nurtured and supported.

Then the volunteers return periodically over the next six months to continue encouraging, supporting and instructing the inside Kairos family. When running at full speed they will have a 2nd team operating in parallel so there will be two inside weekends a year. Leaders are limited to lead one team in five years to insure that it is always Jesus' show rather than leaning on a single charismatic leader whose death causes more than normal grief.

On July 25th the full team will begin training for the fall Kairos #4 at the women's prison where it was my very great blessing to serve two years ago. It is now 18 hours distant from me and I am finding new ways to serve where  I am planted, but my heart is certainly with these dear women who travel so far to answer their call to serve.

Won't you join me in taking time on July 25th to support this team with your prayers?

I have a sign posted by my desk. It is a paraphrase* from Ephesians 4:29, Dear Lord, Do not let any unkind talk come out of my computer, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it benefit those who listen.

A few months back I ran across a more conventional translation of this and was struck by how much it spoke to my heart, to the deepest desires of my heart when I began blogging here.

It was about a year ago that I began to set-up this web site so that I could write what I hoped might speak the kind of comfort and hope I had been seeking some years ago when my youngest son was incarcerated. I've had some very kind words come my way in the past months and my numbers are growing modestly but steadily so I'm now fairly certain it is not just my sweet family that is reading my words.

As is so often the case when someone writes, I have to think and study as part of the process and this blog blesses me this way every day. When I say something that helps, praise God! If I say something that itches, it might be worth thinking a bit about why that is. If something I write causes pain or anxiety, please accept my heartfelt apology for I am most certainly trying very hard to offer hope, not heap hurts on top of hurts.

In this world, even among God's people, there are so many hurts. Some are caused by our own errors, foolishness or willfulness. But plenty of it is simply part of the brokenness of the world, our nation, our communities, our churches, our families, and, that hardest to acknowledge, ourselves. But it does not matter if our pain is the result of our own actions (good or bad) or the actions of others or the power of nature, our pain is our most common experience.

But God is much bigger than any mess we find ourselves in, any challenges we face, any pain we know. Whatever pain you know today, God is standing with you and longs to offer you His comfort, His peace, His hope.

All Knowing and All Powerful and Ever Present God, comfort us each and all today where we know sorrow, pain, fear, hopelessness and longing in our lives. Teach us to accept Your love, trust You fully and surrender to Your loving arms, because You are both committed to our highest good and fully able to help us on that path. AMEN 

Finding balance seems both desperately important and consistently difficult. I don't want to be too afraid to speak up against meanness or foolishness, but I don't want to provoke harm to the child or elder I want to protect. I want to be helpful to a young mother struggling with tired children in the check-out line, but I don't want her to feel judged or vulnerable. I want to offer kindness to my neighbor without being a busybody. I want to be the best employee or volunteer I can be, but with appropriate acknowledgement for others whose variety of gifts were essential to the good outcome.

And, I would prefer to do this in a manner that does not leave me feeling frozen between the choices or so exhausted from the struggle I am too frustrated to actually do what I eventually feel might be helpful.

Life was less exhausting when I was more certain I knew what needed to be done in any situation I faced. But there was definitely collateral damage when my Idea of how to help proved less than perfect.

So my trip from "knows it all" to "knows nothing for sure" may be called enlightenment, but it left me no further forward in finding and embracing purpose in my life.  I found some comfort in this: "For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven," written in Ecclesiastes 3:1. Yet this book of Ecclesiastes has as its major point the fact that nothing on this Earth is more than second best to our relationship with God.

So I am very grateful that when I am able to bring kindness or information or a message of hope to someone, I do not have to do it perfectly, because God is able to shut their ears to my errors and make my simple gestures or words bring blessings. This is not because I am so smart or strong or gifted, but because as God pours love on His children, I enjoy the great blessing of Grace when He allows me to be used in His service.

Sometimes the struggle itself becomes sin when we let our fear become an excuse for not growing more fully available to be kind, generous or helpful because we might do it wrong. Part of faith is trusting God to fix us as we go.