Why are people so happy when high profile folks stumble, even fall? Do they not realize we all fall short? That the families of high profile folks stuffer even when things are going well? It is US, those who expect perfection from ourselves, our loved ones and, yes, our heros that contribute to the problem. If someone makes a mistake, we seem to have lost our capacity to cheer for the struggling, especially if they actually work transparently to seek redemption.

I miss the community belief that folks can pay their debt, overcome troubled pasts, even achieve good things as they work to make amends and demonstrate more goodness than most of us can muster without having to rise above public past mistakes. You see, as long as we keep our mistakes a secret, we hope to avoid the censure and perceptual judgement that our culture seems to embrace with such glee.

Of course, the problem is not new. King David wrote in old testament times, "Their only plan is to bring down a person of prominence. They take pleasure in falsehood; they bless with their mouths, but inwardly they curse." (Psalm 62:4)

Maybe the next time we hear of a scandal or possible scandal or a person of fame or a person of no fame getting into trouble, maybe, just maybe, we can think of their families and friends who did not make the choice, but must live with the aftermath. And maybe, just maybe, we can even offer a prayer that the person who has been "outed" can find, in the midst of shame and fear and chaos, an end to the temptations that brought their downfall, and a willingness to shout out to God who is with them even at the bottom, our God who is ready to restore that sinner too, through the Blood of His Son, to a life of purpose and servanthood.

And maybe, just maybe, we will remember that most of us have done something or harbored anger about something or been selfish about something that could have led down just such a path, but for a parent, a sibling, a friend, a spouse, a pastor, a counselor, a mentor who shone the light of truth to us, the light of grace to us and helped us make better choices in our lives.

In the words of one of my favorite worship leaders, "Amen. Thank you, Jesus!"

Today I've been reading Psalm 13. On the one hand it doesn't not resonate with me because I don't feel so much like I am besieged and afraid. I mean, unlike some times in my life, I have a car that runs well; a family with mostly good health; my grandchildren doing well in school. I have mostly enough money to take care of my needs and some wants; I am not likely to become a Martyr nor a victim of political violence. My home is a place of peace and joy; my church family is doing important work, in which I am free to join. Oh, I'm not bragging, just saying that, although I have had a number of challenges in my life, today the obvious blessings are overwhelmingly more numerous than my concerns........ until......

OK, this morning I read something rude on Facebook about my family! And my gut reaction was that of an 8th grade girl not being invited to THE party. I puffed up like a frightened rooster. The whole "words, they cannot hurt me" was flooded and overcome with, "How dare they!"

So, yes, God, I needed this Psalm today, but I will sing and pray a more personal version:

How long, Adonai?
Will you forget my beloved ones forever?
How long will you hide your face from she who is dear to me?
How long must I keep asking myself what to do to fix things myself,
with sorrow in my heart every day?

How long must my anger and frustration dominate me?
Look, and answer me, Adonai my God!
Give light to my eyes, or I will explode and say and do things that cause harm to those I love.
Then my enemy would say, “I was able to make her violate her own values”;
and would rejoice at my downfall.

But I trust in your grace,
and my heart rejoices as you bring me to safety,
reminding me you are greater than any anxiety I have.
I will sing to Adonai, because he gives me
even more than I need and does the same for those I love..

Oh the world is so full of irritating persons! (And too often the most irritating is me!)

I must confess that I get frustrated with folks who seem too self-absorbed, too busy, too distracted to practice the most basic common sense, common decency, or common courtesy. But then, as my mother observed years ago, there is truly little good sense, decency and courtesy at play in the world.

So how can I keep from shaking my fist at the dangerous and discourteous drivers, the thoughtless and irksome co-worker, the distractingly unprofessional business people, the frustrating and just plain maddening family member, friend, neighbor?

For me it starts with remembering what it was like in the early days of my young widowhood. (I was 45 when my husband died of sudden cardiac arrest.) I lost all my keys three times and, I fear, left the key guy thinking I was interested in him. I rarely could remember which of the half dozens alternative ways to work that I had driven as I pulled into the parking lot. I burst into tears at the mall, trying to finish Christmas shopping, much to the discomfort of the check-out clerk! I replaced my 12-year-old's pager six times. I forgot birthdays of family and friends and got through most days by putting one foot in front of the other until I could escape to a night of little sleep. I'm betting I was not the most courteous of drivers or the most efficient of co-workers or the most patient with professionals and customer service folks and I know I was too tender to have much left to give my nearest and dearest.

So, since I am not certain about who just left their child at the hospital or their mother at the nursing home or lost their job or got a diagnosis of a potentially life-changing illness, then I'll just have to show them a little mercy. If they are just being a pill, then I have lost nothing. But if they are struggling, maybe my kindness will ease their burden a bit today. 

So for today, I'll just assume the other guy or gal is a lot like me: doing the best they can in a frightful and dizzyingly busy world with a limited human body and a fragile human heart. I'll offer the kindness and tolerance that has blessed me on my darkest days just in case they need a little of my light today.

"But he started it!"  Boy do I wish I had a nickel for every time I've heard that one -- or every time I have used that excuse myself!
 
It is a common human problem; we want the other fellow to be the bigger person, the wiser person so we can have an easier time of doing the right thing.  But, of course, that doesn’t work because the other person is wanting the same thing from us!
 
I recently read a list describing attitudes and mind-sets that are common among prisoners and the criminally inclined. They had a common theme: “If only I had it as easy as the other guy I would be a better person too! But I have the right to ignore laws I find inconvenient as though they don’t apply to me, because my comparatively horrible life has given me the perfect excuse to be wholly oblivious to the pain my actions cause others.”
 
It is a rare and delightful person that does not have at least a little of that perspective, but the more pronounced, the greater the struggle for us to take that step needed to embrace a more productive and less self-destructive life.

So I have been thinking of this reading from Matthew 5:7 “Great blessings belong to those who show mercy to others.  Mercy will be given to them.”
 
I believe that we must open our hands to give mercy which then makes room in our fists to receive a little mercy – not because God’s Mercy is miserly or narrow, but because we are miserly and narrow in showing mercy. It becomes a dance of blessings where we show a little mercy and experience more mercy so we show a little more mercy and again experience even more mercy, swirling around the dance floor of life learning ever so slowly at first and then with increasing energy and passion until we rush in the waiting arms of our Lord, freed from the chains of harbored wrongs. We have a Lord who longs to heap healing and restoration and joy into our lives, showing us Mercy beyond anything we can even comprehend, much less feel worthy of. And God is so very patient even as we are so miserly in the early steps of the dance.
 
So today let us listen to God singing to us and take those first tentative steps as we pry our fingers open a little, letting the fear drop away, making room for more mercy in our lives – mercy shown and mercy received. Let us dance with increasing abandon, the dance of mercy.

Some years ago I was shepherding a teenage son and a mother-in-law with a diagnosis of moderate dementia of the Alzheimer's type on a trip to Texas. I knew it would probably be the last trip for a woman who had always been excited at the prospect of a trip to see new things, but had never had an opportunity to fulfill a long-standing desire to "see Texas."  It was a memorable trip in several ways, but one day was particularly poignant. 

We had gone to Boerne, Texas (pronounced as rhyming with "journey") to wander through a craft show that is well known in the area. We had lunch and decided a stop at the ladies' room would be good before we started making the rounds of the booths. The local city officials had erected a bright, clean, stand-alone building to serve all the downtown merchants and their customers, but, as well maintained as it was, the latch on the stall was too stiff for my mother-in-law's arthritic fingers to work so she asked me to hold the door closed for her. She asked ""Are you still there?" several times. (As the dementia progressed she was very anxious when she could not see a family member when in an unfamiliar place.) I was generally OK with being patient and courteous, but when she asked yet again, I was a little sharp in my tone when I said, "Mom, I'm right here. You can see my fingers at the top of the door."  Her voice was soft when she said, "Yes, dear, I know, but can you let me out now?"

I was reminded yet again, that just because something has been, does not mean it is still what I assume!

But I must admit, it also reminds me of myself as I keep asking God to make His presence's obvious to me, asking for "signs," most often when I want to be relieved of a obligation or want to cut an ethical corner that I already know needs to be handled with utmost honestly. Fortunately, I never have to tell God, "I'm ready to move on wisely now" because God keeps the door to doing things "His Way" available at all times.

So for those times I am truly seeking to discern the way I am to go and even in those times when I'm gaming myself, God continues to be wholly present, never forsaking me even when I am foolish. In the instant I surrender my will to His, I know instantly the relief of being tended very careful by the Almighty Creator, through the death and resurrection of His Son and by the persistent presence of the Spirit of God who ever helps me to conform my will to God: informing, healing and blessing my life.

"[God] hath said, 'I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.' ”   Hebrews 13:5 (KJV)

Consider the scope of the problem of incarceration.  Basically there is not anyone who is unaffected by the blow-back of criminal behavior. This has really always been true because just hearing about a crime can cause anxiety lest we similarly be harmed.

But in our current culture, where everything from domestic violence, to addictions, to child pornography, to embezzlement, to hiring someone without the right to work here, to vandalism each add to the fearfulness and destructive culture that seems to be a tsunami of chaos informing all corners of our lives. It is no wonder that a culture of victim-hood crosses all socio-economic, cultural, regional and religious layers. We seem to be too numb to observe the damage our own choices make and embrace anger as a protective wall against all we cannot control outside ourselves.

So how do we help?

It is very helpful to take responsibility for our own attitudes, postures, choices and thoughts. It is far from easy to do this in a world that finds such ideas "repressive to our right to express our every fleeting thought or indulge any impulse". But we do have a God who will help us begin to learn different ways to think, new ways to act. Being supportive of this for those affected by incarceration is good. Oh, I certainly don't mean lecturing or judging as neither ever convinced anyone to change, but rather causes us to become defensive and resistant to change which is frightening. But from disengaging from negative talk (sitting calmly and quietly) to instead being a cheerleader for better attitudes and choices, can be helpful.

We can pray for one another and for one another's family. This is not only a blessing to those being prayed for, but also helps us align ourselves with God's way of doing things. It opens our hearts to words inspired by the Spirit of God, words of comfort and hope, words of faith and consolation.

We can offer to help in practical ways: If your friend must travel long distances to visit their loved one in prison or jail, you might be a blessing if you offer to travel along. You can offer to send a card or note to the incarcerated person, offering proof of God's love and willingness to forgive and restore. You can include your friend in your own family gatherings if they have little family or the stresses of the situation have fractured family bonds. You can send a note to your friend on the anniversary of the incarcerated loved one's birthday.

Walk with your friend. Walk with your family member. Let God's love infuse your relationship.

Some days, heck some years are tough. We struggle with health issues and family issues and financial issues and trying to find our way along life's journey. But if we pay attention we see some folks handle challenges in different ways, from depression to anger to peace, sometimes experiencing all these and many points in between in a given day.

So I suggest you look around and see who is at peace even when things are challenging and get to know them. Consider what is different about them from the folks who rock and real between the extremes of emotion or are devoid of emotion.

Who has the habit of kindness and a gentle spirit, even while they have a passion for their work and making a difference? Who balances realistic expectations with an optimistic outlook? These are good folks to get to know, to learn from.

Where do you find them? Find a place to volunteer your time and expertise and you will probably find such folks among long-time volunteers. Not all folks at church have achieved this way of living, but you usually find such folks there if you look for them. Is there someone in your family with a reputation for offering good counsel, always sharing a kind word and a willingness to lend a hand (but smart about not lending money)? Is there someone at work who stands out as having a capacity to bring perspective and balance to discussions?

When we pay attention, it is possible to find folks who live lives that can inform our own journey. They often welcome coachable (willing to learn) folks into their lives. If not, keep seeking, because somewhere God has a person, people, who can shine wisdom, hope and encouragement into your life.

We do not lose heart. Even though our outer nature is wasting away, our inner nature is being renewed day by day. 2 Corinthians 4:16 

As a frustrated English major, I am always interested in the way a word has evolved and recreation is one that seems particular ironic. Originally recreation was pronounced as re-creation and is considered by Merriam-Webster as derived from Middle English, Anglo-French, and Latin meaning restoration to health, to create anew, restore, refresh, and to create. Folks do tell me they find diversion and relief from stress by modern recreation, but I can't see it. I've had grown men stomping around hours after a loss by a favorite team, simmering with frustration and disappointment -- over a game in which they were not even playing.

Some years ago I had a boss that was an avid golfer who had just returned from playing at the Colonial Country Club Golf Course in Fort Worth, Texas. He had looked forward to the opportunity for several weeks but returned so dejected. I asked why the long face and he said he had just learned how truly limited were his golfing skills after so many years of practice and play because this very challenging course had been not much fun to play. I remember shaking my head and asking if he planned to keep playing and he said he could not imagine quitting even though it seemed to bring more frustration than fun as the years passed. I was puzzled then and I am still puzzled every Sunday afternoon when my beloved family gathers to bemoan, groan and grimace with each football play that is less than perfect and to second guess the coach even on successful plays.

The things our culture calls recreation is a puzzlement to me in so many ways.

Can we find our way back to restoration, refreshment, and renewal:  make time in our lives to pursue activities that lift our hearts and make our souls sing, and make time to enjoy our world, our family, our own capacity to love and embrace all the blessings that surround us, even on the most challenging of days.

Can we seek peace even on a golf course and while watching the game with our loved ones?

“Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup; you have made my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance. I will praise the Lord, who counsels me; even at night my heart instructs me. I have set the Lord always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.”  Psalm 16:5-8

Sometimes my financial planning background tugs at my heart and, since many of us would be happier with more money than days at the end of the month, please consider my concerns.

This morning I had a call from a friend that had received a bill from a government agency that was a bill for moneys she did not owe. It was no small amount, and she had mentioned she was struggling to meet this unexpected bill. This allowed me to encourage her to spend the energy to gather her documentation and to file an appeal, which this morning was upheld by the agency. They deal with over-billing incidents with such frequency that they were wholly unimpressed by a 5-digit savings for my friend. I'd like to mention my friend is smart, has run successful micro- businesses with hard work and savvy,  But this was outside of her wheelhouse and the appeal was a little complicated considering there was no ready resource to provide a check-list of what was needed to appeal. (Please don't spin your wheels just saying, "But I see how I can how this!" and do NOT ignore because after the appeal period runs out you can find yourself being required to pay a stack of money in penalties and interest on top of the amount you did not appeal!)

This can come from a state agency such as the one that recently wanted me to prove I had NOT lived in my new state of residence during the 5 years prior to moving back here 18 months ago. Fortunately this was easy to do, but it took time, a bit of knowledge and a strong belief that much of government is inefficient, in effect praying on those who are too ill, too frail, too ill-informed, too intimidated by officialdom to expend their limited resources.  For those who have honest family or friends to consult with, they have a fighting chance if they are not too embarrassed to ask for help. What might we do to help those whose who have little family or family that is too quick to take advantage of the situation, or those folks who have no one left because their capacity to keep living has outlasted those of their loved ones.

Bear these folks up in prayer today, and in our own families and circles of influence, encourage folks to seek help when they receive unexpected or higher than expected bills they do not fully understand or think they may have been billed in error in some way on their credit cards or bank statements. Even in the electronic age mistakes occur and electronic theft is far too common even it it does not reach the "identify theft" level. 

Be careful out there!

This morning I am thinking about all those who share the incarceration of a loved one, or even someone they no longer think of as a loved one.

Many people acknowledge that we are all interconnected and what one does affects others by extension. But in the community of those affected by the incarceration (or criminal behavior) of a family member or friend is deep and wide. 

Think of the siblings who are living productive lives, who watch their parents grieve and expend money, time and energy on the "problem child." It is sometimes difficult to find our own grief in the resentment and distractions of feeling abandoned because we are more functional, less needy.

Think of the grandparents who not only are frightened for their grandchild, but also with the wisdom of a lifetime, have an all too clear understanding of the challenges ahead. Plus they ache for their own child's grief and fear as they seek to find their way.

Think of those parents who ask themselves how they failed to properly equip their beloved child for a life that always includes temptations to take short cuts and sorrows to be processed. We wonder what we could have done differently and the urgency of our child's situation often leaves us with little time to process our own feelings, guilt and shame.

Think of the children who not only have a gaping hole in their lives where a parent should be; who also wonder if they have inherited in their own DNA or life experience that same stuff that caused their parent to be in such a mess. They generally have more financial challenges than their friends with "free world families" and often live within families full of such pain and fear and anger that they have a hard time finding someone safe with whom to talk about all this.
 
There are co-workers, neighbors and friends who know that they themselves have taken risks that could have brought disaster into their own lives and families. There are cousins and aunts and uncles who have their own uncertainties about what words might offer comfort and what might make things more difficult.

There are law enforcement folks and judicial folks and corrections/probation staff that look at the "law-breaker" wondering how this came to be, wondering if they will have to face a similar future with a wayward child that they love.

The friends of all these folks also stand and watch, longing to comfort and help but having little idea how to do so.

One small pebble of foolish, selfish, arrogant  behavior and so many folks have changes and challenges in their own lives because of it. 

If the current data is even reasonably accurate and one if fifteen (1 in 15) American's have been convicted of a crime that lead to incarceration or probation, and if each one of those has lives effecting by extension parents, spouses, children, grandchildren, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, co-workers, church family, neighbors and friends, then how many times in a day do we walk through those concentric circles of lives affected by the incarceration of another? 

If you have never doubted, can you really believe? I think not. If we simply accept what we have been told, how can we trust any human being or human agency to be 100% correct in anything?

So how do we consider the actuality of God or a belief about God or an understanding of what faith means?

Let's consider how an academic researcher might proceed and at the end I will suggest an important twist:

• What is the burning question that you want answered?  Are you concerned about the historical accuracy of the Bible? Or what Christ taught versus what you have heard about church or theological teaching?  Or what it means to have a personal relationship with God? If you have any honest interest in calling yourself a Christian (or any other follower of a set of religious teachings), it seems to me that serious consideration is called for. What is bugging you? What is off-putting about your current understanding? What is your deepest yearning?
• What challenges do you see in your current understanding versus what you are considering? Do you say "I believe in God" to shut down someone you feel is bugging you? Do you say "I'm a Taoist" with little real knowledge to put people off or to appear an unusually smart person? Or is your life less than filled with peace, hope for the future, a sense of purpose or even more distressing, filled with large amounts and a wide array of "stuff" that is not helping ease the sense of "there must be more"?
• What sources of information can you access while you consider your question? This can be a problem because I have read some of the most inane, nonsensical stuff that was written primarily to generate income for the writer. Other things seem to have a single "if you do what I say, you will get what you want" message that is at best too narrow and at worst just plain off track. There are many versions of the Bible, some more slanted toward interpretation than translation, but all have their place. There are millions of websites with something to say and sorting the dross form the gold is a challenge. You can consult with someone you feel is a seriously kind, generous, forgiving person and ask for advice. You can visit a few churches to see if what you hear there seems authentic and when you find one where folks are living what they are saying, jump in to learn what sources they find reliable. 
• As you research, how you can apply an idea to test it out? Folks in churches and writers of "How to" books on Christianity come in all shapes and sizes with widely varying degrees of pertinent information (and plenty of impertinence at times!) I strongly suggest you avoid things that depend on the personality or charisma of a leader or preach more about what you should NOT do that what you SHOULD do. Again, consider the folks at the church or program: Do they demand that you immediately accept all aspects of their doctrine or are they willing to listen to your concerns and share their personal experience rather than quoting something that they believe is only to be interpreted in their way?
• Why is your research important for your life? Based on what you are reading, hearing, discussing, is there a way to make it practical in your own life? Must you go to a certain place or say exactly certain words so you can magically get a blessing not available to others? Is God limited according to man-made perceptions and demands? Or does this give you hope that there is a life of purpose and growth and renewal and redemption available to you personally and to all those you love? If you are not hearing about a God that is bigger than what you can comfortably understand, then I suggest you keep learning and reading and seeking.
• What new research is possible, based on what you learned?  Let's say you have read that it is important to consider decisions you make according to what is sometimes called the "Golden Rule." For Christians this goes something like this: “Be as kind, as forgiving, as generous, as loving to each of God's children as you long to have God be to you, even while you are uncertain that God could ever value you, forgive you, rehabilitate you.” What would that look like in your world? Would you be honest even if you believed your boss had cheated you? Would you be kind to your spouse even though there have been so many hurtful words you can hardly remember what being kind looks like? Would you forgive someone who had truly caused you harm, even though they did not ask or seem sorry? If you try this and you find it improves the quality of your life, then look for more ideas on how the teachings of God are practical for daily living.

 
You may say, “Wow, that is a lot of work!” and I would say, yes, in fact for me it is a life-long project. But if there is even the smallest chance that there is more hope, more joy, more love, more important work to do, more harmonious relationships, more of each and every good and delightful blessing, then what is that worth!
Is 3 minutes a day so much to spend to consider a life of something more?

Oh, and about the twist I mentioned at the beginning, I would suggest saying these simple words as part of your studies as often as it comes to your mind: “O creator of all, I come seeking something I don’t have the slightest idea of how to put into words, but, if you are there, if you care, if I have something worthwhile to bring to you, to the World that you created, then help me see and hear truth. Oh, and if you are sending someone to help, let me recognize them quickly!”

Do you dare?

The Spirit of God keeps keeps the Prayer Hotline open 24 hours, 7 days a week, each and every day, and each and every night. Give God a call out any time. Call on God often.

You can think your prayer; you can whisper or sing or shout or cry or wail. You can simply call, Abba Father and pause in wordless longing.  You can stand, or sit, or fold your hands, or raise your hands, or lay flat on the floor, or sit on the ground, or sit on a bench, or sit in your favorite chair. God cares about you, not your posture or style. 

You can pour out your pain, your fear, your needs, the most secret details of your experiences -- what you have done and what has been done to you. God already knows ALL and loves you just as you are. There is nothing you can say that will shock God or be too bad for God to hear. He already knows it all and nothing will change how dear and important you are to God. So you may as well tell God everything.

Too often we make the mistake of thinking we need to be better or more together before calling on God. 
That is not necessary. (Aren't you trying as hard as you know how? Don't worry; God's got this.)

You see, God has always been standing closely beside you. He is waiting for you to turn your face to Him...just as you are, just where you are, now, right now. Don't wait a moment. Open your heart to healing and love and hope and joy and peace and lots of other things that are in too short supply in this sad, sorry world.

It is yours with a whisper, a longing, a word, a prayer. 

​God loves you.

God loves you.

God loves you already.

God loves you unconditionally.

God is love…love is what God does.

He will never love you less than He does today; 
He will never love you more than He does today;
    ...Because he loves you utterly and completely today.  


God loves you.

No one else can interpret God's Will in your life for you.

No one else can interpret God’s Will in your life for you -- not your friends or your church friends, not your pastor or your parents, not your spouse or your children. My second husband was a godly man with the disease of alcoholism running back four generations that we know of. He struggled every day to be the man He believed God wanted him to be. He stumbled often and grew much. But it was hard for him, for all of us. I was told by some I “had to stay in the marriage” by folks proclaiming that God says divorce is a sin. Others were adamant that I needed to “get out because you deserve better.”  

Neither was the best answer for me. In fact I believe that much of the important foundation building I did was a function of Al-Anon and co-dependency work and counseling that I might never have been exposed to without working to understand my husband's disease and my broken responses to it. Here I learned both that God is trustworthy and constant and loving, and that I was capable of learning to God's shine light into my life and the lives of those I love. I hold gently the experience, painful as it was because I would not have many of my strongest parts, most forgiving, most healed parts without the experience.

So I believe that if you are living between the extremes of advice, you are probably doing as well as can be expected. 

No one else can interpret God’s Will in your life for you.

Prayer matters.

Prayer matters. This is vital because by tending my own spiritual needs, living the life of purpose for which I was born, I am not abandoning my loved ones. After years of caring more about their well-being than they did themselves, it is likely to feel like I am abandoning them. 

Please understand: It Is NOT ABANDONING THEM.  IT IS NOT ABANDONING THEM to tend my own spiritual needs. Rather it is essential that I do so. If I am broken and without hope how can I expect them to believe there is hope: hope for a future, hope for a productive life, hope for healing and renewal and redemption at the hands of a God who loves them, longs to heal them, has a purpose for their life.

So when you are feeling drawn back into ineffective ways of interacting please remember Bill & Jackie. 

Bill & Jackie’s beloved oldest son made many bad choices including walking away from his wife and young children. But Jackie and Bill prayed. They prayed together. They prayed passionately. They prayed believing in God’s redemptive grace. This summer, long after Jackie’s death and with Bill too frail to attend, that son prayed aloud at his newest grandchild’s baptismal festivities. He prayed aloud over his children and grandchildren, he prayed for our children and grandchildren. It was amazing.

Praying matters.

We do have authority over our own feelings and actions.

We do have authority over our own feelings and actions. I realize we have been taught by the media, celebrities and folks in involved in the "if it feels good you should not only do it but keep on doing it until it damages every relationship you have" gurus until we lose all sense of authority over our own lives. It seems as though anything worth exerting effort for is "our culture making us feel bad about natural impulses"... like smacking somebody because they startled us?...like saying something mean to our kids because we are in a bad mood, a bad place?...like accepting the notion that if we have a bad experience it gives us lifetime permission to be the instrument of pain to others?

Is it easy to take responsibility, to do the tough but oh-so-worthwhile stuff, to be the one that does not wait for someone else to make our lives easy? No, but it is possible and it is actually invigorating and healing and empowering to invite God to help us make better choices, be forgiving, believe in a better tomorrow.

Here is the scoop:  I have a full-time job blooming where I am planted what with watering and weeding and fertilizing and pruning and all that other work that pays such huge dividends in joy and hope and peace. That is the payoff, you see: if we accept responsibility for our own feelings and actions we are empowered to change our future, to be the driver of the bus of our lives rather than living like we are being dragged behind somebody else's caboose. We GET to accept responsibility for our own feelings and actions.  

And this is the truly amazing and wonderful arrangement, a joyous thing: When I tend my own life, those around me notice. When I don’t waste time blaming my circumstances and begin give thanks for my blessings, my relationships improve. When I surrender my wounds to Christ and let His woulds heal mine, I am truly free to be all I was created to be, to embrace that which heals and to have a hope and a future.

By God's Abundant Grace, we do have authority over our own feelings and actions.

We have no authority over the journey of another. 

No matter how much we love our beloved affected by incarceration or criminal behavior, nor matter how we long to makes things safe for loved ones who suffer because of choices they did not make, we have no authority over them. As much as we long for things to be better, we cannot make them better. We don't, in the final light of truth, really even know what they need and we certainly don't have it in our power to give it to them.

Have you ever realized you cared passionately about fixing something for someone you love and realized you care a whole lot more than they do about getting if fixed? They are unwilling to commit the time, energy, focus, money or just plain care to even try? See, here is the problem: we cannot make them care and, truly, we don't understand in any clear way what it is that is in the way of them caring. But God not only knows, God has the authority and the power and the will and the wisdom to handle all that. So...we need to get out of God's way and, yes, mind our own beeswax, which for me is a full time job!

Besides, I have learned this is a truly good and amazing arrangement. So many things that I have longed for, begged for, prayed for, sacrificed for, so many of these thing things that I now understand would have caused much harm. 

We have no authority over the journey of another.

From my days in the financial services industry I find I think in terms of risk versus reward. Over time, the safest financial investments return the lowest return with the least volatility. Again, over time, measured risk historically has the highest return with greatest volatility and potential for loss. If it were not so, everyone would want an insured bank CD at 15% guaranteed rate and the economy would grind to a halt. I mean, why risk capital, effort, and attention to try and do something better or build something new...and we would all still be beating our rugs with brooms over the clothes lines.

But how does this work in our walk with God?

I know of folks whose life was so horrid, so out of control, so dangerous that when they came to faith they came with the same wild abandon with which they had pursued selfish, rage-filled, greedy lives that had proved so painful as to be impossible to sustain. They may have stood with a gun literally pressed to their temple before dropping to their knees with a glimmer of hope that God might have something else to offer. They may have lain on a hospital bed longing for death when something called them to turn their face to God and God led them back for a life of purpose and joy. For some of these folks the story is powerful and their contribution to their families, communities and even farther has star quality.

But for most of us it is a matter of considering that, although we grew up in a church, maybe there is something more than coffee between services and baking cookies for the homeless folks. For some who have never been in a church and it may be tentative steps of reading a Bible or attending a church as they think to learn more about God. It may be someone who was badly treated at a church or by someone whose "churchiness" was used as a club and they are very tentative as they begin to think it might be that the person who frightened them might not have gotten it right.

And for us it can be a long and unnecessarily tentative process where we risk considering a new way of viewing the church, a new way of thinking about God, a new way of seeking everything from healing for our broken hearts to purpose for our lives. It might be a retreat, a book who title is off-putting but a mature Christian has found valuable, an on-line Bible study or an outing with a local church to minister to homeless folks where they live. Often it is uncomfortable, even frightening. But it is also a blessing as we are nudged a but farther along in our trust of God in all things, at all times, in all places.

What will you risk today in order to know God better, serve God more faithfully, embrace God's Love Grace more fully?

At times like this month I wonder if I have been very successful in taking care in what I volunteer to do, because I want to be a faithful steward that shows up when I say I will, contributes what I say I will. 

This summer has been particularly challenging since I accidentally signed up for something that I'm not too suited for and I'm still trying to figure out if God was reminding me that I need to wait on Him before I go running down a bunny trail, or if I am just wanting to only help where I can be a shining beacon of competence and leadership. When it comes to landscape gardening, I am no shining beacon, but I have met and gotten to know a bit better some truly delightful folks -- in a church of 2,000 souls that is no mean blessing!

So this week is KAIROS and Prison Fellowship and next week is Shoe Box Ministry and another meeting on surrendering compulsions, additions and distractions that get us off track; then a week being the resident Grandma so one of my children can go play with her husband. All these are good things and joyous blessings, but it is awfully easy for me to get so busy I don't take time to take my own temperature, spend time with my loved ones, tend my own body, feed my need for God's word and prayer.

God of all Wisdom, Truth and Knowledge, nudge me in the right directions, whisper Your longing to hear from me, teach me, renew me and give me ears to hear and a heart to obey. AMEN

I often share my interest in the various translations of the Bible and how folks will take six words of a single translation and build a new religion on it rather than being humble in seeking to understand the wisdom the Bible imparts to our lives.

So it is such a delight when there is a passage that just can not easily be twisted, a passage that, in such a few words, paints a very clear and joyous picture that even someone hearing it for the first time will immediate feel a deep connection.

In Isaiah 66, verse 13 we read, "The Lord says, 'As a mother comforts her child, so I will comfort you.'”

Even if we have not ourselves been blessed with a mother who comforts, the picture is so universal that it is clearly and powerfully catches the heart in a moment.

This this is exactly how God longs to comfort us at all times and in all places. God longs to wrap us in an awareness of God's presence, to be given an opportunity to point out the wonders of the stars and sun and moon, tall mountains, endless deserts, ceaselessly rolling oceans and let what we can see and feel and hear offer a deeply comforting though hazy glimpse of the glory of God, the power of God, the Love that is God.

At our most desperate and self-destructive moments, God lays a cool hand on our fevered brow, wooing us, calling us, longing to pour out healing and hope and restoration if only we are willing to stop fighting and surrender to the love and light and truth that seeks to restore us to a life of purpose and peace.


O Jehovah Japtha, You reveal Yourself to us as the God of Healing. My life is broken, my heart is broken, I am such a mess it is hard to believe You don't find me as disgusting and reprehensible as I find myself. But You do not turn Your back on me, you do not condemn me, because Christ our Lord has washed all that away, no matter how I feel. So I beg of you, in the name of the Shepard, the Redeemer, with the help of the Spirit of God, help me see myself as you see me, full of promise and created with a purpose for which I am uniquely created and refined. AMEN  

O, and Lord, can you please let me shine this same light into the lives of my children and all those I love and all those I meet!  Thank you so much! AMEN

This weekend we are welcoming women who have been affected by the incarceration of a loved one. Many of these women have little support as family members and even church family distance themselves from the chaos and sorrow that often surrounds the criminal behavior and incarceration of a loved one. Some of them stand as the only link to the free world for their loved one, even though most incarcerated men and women are are expected to return to that free world as productive citizens.

So a particularly important part of the weekend is to assure these ladies that they do not stand alone. And when we stand with them we long to assure them that the Church on earth welcomes them, though imperfectly compared to Gods delight and welcome.

If you would be willing to pray for these women, please use the contact button above to share your willingness to pray for the team as they minister to these women and for the women themselves as they consider new ways to rely on God more deeply and serve God more freely. We just use a first name and city, (i.e., Mary in Hannibal or Tom in Milton) because it is important to think "this person is praying for me" rather than "a bunch of folks are praying".

If you have any questions about this ministry, please feel free to contact me about that too.

This is a time of year when there are many programs that are reaching out to the incarcerated and their families. Angel Tree (A Prison Fellowship ministry) has some wonderful things happening. KAIROS teams are preparing for in-facility weekends and churches across the country are cooking for juvenile facilities and mentoring young women in jails and supporting local jail chaplains with worship teams and Bible study leaders.

You are not the only folks who are praying for your incarcerated loved one, reaching out and offering hope and kindness and practical help. No matter how alone you feel, remember that God loves you utterly and loves your loved one utterly. You are not alone.