Here we are at the end of one year and the beginning of another.

I'm grateful for all I have learned and all the opportunities for service that have been given to me over the past 12 months.

But I am even more excited about all the opportunities that lie ahead for next year and that is with the understanding that I might never see 2016. I've had life change on a dime too many times to have any illusions about any tomorrow.

But so far, God has been opening some interesting doors and stirring some interesting ideas in my head. Now if I can just keep practicing this weakly developed but much needed skill: being willing to step out in faith without taking over the wheel. I ask for prayers and expect to need them as long as I have breath.

Because I believe that one of the most essential elements of my live as I seek to follow Christ is to accept that I will never fully "get it", but will always be working on "getting it clearer, deeper, with greater trust". My God does not change, but my God does demand, support, and call me to change every day, seeking to trim the times I drift off to the the left or to the right and reducing the time it takes for me to realize I've lost focus.

Fortunately, He never leaves me to my own limited abilities, but pours out wisdom, growth, forgiveness, hope, peace, purpose and love in full to the capacity I have to that point, then nudges me forward to be able to expand to enjoy even more.

I ran across this recently and it really cheered me up. They shall still bear fruit in old age; they shall be green and succulent.* I've been feeling a little creaky, and slow getting over an inconvenient medical issue. I'm frustrated that a day that would have been an energy builder when my children were younger leaves me ready for a nap after a good romp with grandchildren.

But God is so good. He pours experiences and learning and wisdom into our early years so when our body is slowing down, our spiritual resilience and discernment can keep on climbing. Oh, I still believe I have plenty more to learn as long as I have breath and I do sometimes grieve for the loss of a body that had more stamina; but still, I find getting older to be a delight at a slowly increasing rate...emphasis on slowly.

If you believe you are past your capacity to serve, please reconsider. If your health is frail you can use medical appointments as an opportunity to speak kindly and show mercy to everyone you meet from other patients and their caregivers to the staff and professionals. If you are frightened and upset about moving into a nursing home, to the best of your ability spend what energy you have being loving toward other patients and staff. If you have little or no family, be family to other folks you run into. If you don't get out much beyond the grocery store, seek opportunities to shine there or if someone brings the things you need to you, emphasize your appreciation rather than exhausting them with a diatribe on the unfairness of your situation. All of us can pray for others. If you can't think of anyone to pray for, check out the evening news and it is important for each of us to pray for ourselves.

In my mother's final months (a frail resident of a nursing home with plenty of challenges) she said she'd rather "go out expending her life rather than letting it dribble away." This she did and her example was a final extraordinary gift.

 * Psalm 92:13

The Kansas City Star newspaper had an unusual headline on Sunday morning: "Journey to new beginnings". It was unusual because it spoke of something very uplifting in a time when most headlines are just plain depressing.

And it is unusual because it introduces an article about a hand full of nuns (ages 72 to 87) who had a crazy kind of idea: keep serving and loving, but in a way few women of their ages (even nuns) would dare to try.  Two years ago they were called to start a not-for-profit called Journey House although the full importance of their calling would not become clear until last spring when the DOC of Missouri closed a re-entry program that had been providing a way for people being released to return to society with small steps and an opportunity to be employed prior to their release date. This made the need for residential re-entry programs suddenly more urgent than ever and the Journey House Board and nuns were already on track to meet some of the need.

In September they opened a re-entry home for women seeking to recover from incarceration and to return to being the asset to their community that God intended for them to be. Fifteen recently released or newly on-probation women, who had been significantly wounded long before incarceration pilled-on, are working on life-skills: healthy decision-making skills, financial skills, employment skills, healthy body skills and social skills. They are learning to trust and to be trustworthy, to beat back fear with love and hope. They are learning to forgive themselves and forgive others who have wronged them and to take responsibility for the wrongs they have done. They are learning how to have a friend and how to be a friend in wholly new ways.

The waiting list for the program is growing and they are excited when another woman is ready to step forward and relinquish their spot to the next woman in line. I have no doubt that they will persistently reach a hand back to help others as they have been helped.

It is too early to provide statistics to impress donors, but the healing and hope reflected in all these faces: nuns, staff, volunteers, and participants tell us that it is making an amazing difference today.

There are changes coming. I know this because there are always changes coming. Some we identify as good and others as dangerous or unsettling. In truth, most change has elements of both.

But the change I am thinking of today is that there is a rising tide of support for reform of the criminal justice system in the United States. The damage of excessive incarceration has become so self-evident with most folks in the system, from judges and chaplains to wardens and parole officers that authoritative voices are rising and letters are being written and voting records are being evaluated by folks with a passion for a more just society. I don't think anyone wants the USA to be the leading incarcerator (ahead of Russia and Rwanda and nearly 7 times higher than Canada). 

I wish I had access to a major university's resources so I could statistically correlate the rising incarcerations rates with the rising poverty rates. This is not because I believe the majority of crime is caused by physical poverty but rather because the financial, health and family support needed to have the least harsh outcomes within the legal system (I just can't say criminal justice with a straight face any longer.) is in short supply in families too often being casually crushed quickly for relatively small matters. They have limited resources before and much less during and for a long time after a family member has been incarcerated.

I think this hit home in a new way when a husband and wife convicted in the Enron debacle were allowed to be incarcerated serially rather than concurrently so their children would not be as damaged. I think that is a great idea, but I'm a little queasy when I realize that so many other family would be in a better position if that had been available to them; but they could not afford high-dollar, powerful and creative attorneys. You know, as many people as I hear bemoaning their perception of "mollycoddling of criminals" I don't remember a single slap at this...because who wants children injured more than necessary? But this is even more vitally important in families whose financial and personal capital has been decimated by the criminal behavior of one of their family members.

Prison Fellowship states it well:

A truly just system

• allows for punishment that fits the crime;
• makes restitution to and for the victims of crime;
• to the maximum extent possible, rehabilitates the criminal; and then
• with needed skills and new maturity, restores the individual to society where they can shoulder                                    their personal, family and community responsibilities with dignity and purpose.

Because justice has been co-oped for political purposes, we have a long way to go to helping these folks start being tax payers rather than tax liabilities. But it is in the best interest of us all that this happens. The change will not be without challenges and we each and all need to become more aware, more informed, more involved.

Take the time to read criminal justice related articles in newspapers, magazines and on-line; pay attention to the source of the material. Check out free Kindle books on restorative justice and prison ministry. Do not let fear and dis-ease make you fodder for the "news snippet political and quasi-journalistic cannon bombast" where the more affluent and powerful need only turn their backs on the needs of society as a whole in order to benefit from injustice.

Look with courage, because if I may paraphrase Leroy "Satchel" Paige, something is definitely gaining on us. And God entrusts to us the capacity to meet it with courage and a willingness to be God's Hands and Feet or to bury our heads ever deeper into the darkness of ignorance and fear leaving an attractive target for evil's boot, but certainly no protection.

Even as a child I looked forward to THE WEEK, the time between Christmas and the New Year when the house had lost the Christmas hustle. The leftovers were even more delicious than the original meals. The best Christmas cookies were wholly consumed, but the remaining ones were yummy and had been expanded by gift tins heaped with other folks' Christmas kitchen arts. There were gifts to enjoy: new books to read, new toys and games to play with, new clothes in my dresser. The parents were happy to just be left alone and were not excited about starting a new project during such a relaxing time.

So today I'll take the tree down, pack away the Christmas decorations, sort the leftovers to "eat fast" or freeze, all at a pace that is leisurely. The weather is threatening to end our Indian Summer fall and early winter and I'm happy for an excuse to stay close to home this weekend.

So maybe now I'll find more time to think about how interesting it all is. No matter how the World may fuss and fume with atheist rhetoric and efforts to co-op the story by kindly folks seeking to build bridges to what they do not understand; no matter the efforts to replace the forgiveness of Christ with the manipulation of the Elf-On-The-Shelf and no matter the general secularization, this celebration that spans the globe and the centuries and cultures and ethnicities with a unique message of forgiveness, love, purpose and hope, still persists.

As we drove to church and family events over Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, I was struck again by the stillness of it all. Fast food restaurants, malls, service organizations, corporations all closed in response to the Christmas story. I can think of nothing else that has built such a track record. What other time is so likely to prompt the courage to attempt a reconciliation? What other time is so likely to engender the courage to respond with forgiveness rather than fear? What other time in the bustling USA does generosity of time and money pour forth in such abundance across such a wide spectrum of need?

Try as the World may, it cannot match the track record of the Love of the Child filling us so fully that we feel courageous enough to be generous, carve out time for others, consider mercy, practice forgiveness and experience the Love of God in new ways --  God's perpetual Christmas gift to us. This Love can draw us to a more persistent and consistent sharing of that gift with others by the way we live, love, laugh, work; grow in spirit and seek wisdom; be respectful of our mortal bodies; take time and spend time rather than struggle against time; remember more intentionally what we have rather, than what we covet; and allow love to drive out fear by the power of the Spirit of God with us.

I plan to be more Scrooge-like -- that is, more like the post-Christmas Scrooge of whom it was written:

(Scrooge speaking.) “I will honour Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year. I will live in the Past, the Present, and the Future. The Spirits of all Three shall strive within me. I will not shut out the lessons that they teach!” 
― Charles Dickens, A Christmas Carol

O, Emmanuel, Son of the Father, thank You for sending us the Spirit of God every day, offering insight, wisdom, discernment, hope, faith, peace, forgiveness, reconciliation, redemption, renewal, purpose and Love, the greatest of which is Love. Bestir me to be Your Hands and Feet as You open my eyes to the needs of Your Children and where my resources will help. AMEN

Some years ago my husband had a very serious heart attack. One son was about 900 miles away on the same continent, but one was stationed in Asia and the Red Cross did the notifying and the travel plans and his Chaplin came to give his support, too. The one in the US made plans to come even though his own health was fragile at the time and he drove through arriving in time to pick his brother up at the airport.

Even in the midst of such an uncertain and fearful time I was aware that, although I sometimes I felt I had A LOT of information being thrown my way and sometimes I felt I need to know so much more, I could look at my husband and watch his chest rise and fall, knowing he was till breathing in that moment. His sons traveled hopefully and anxiously as he underwent emergency surgery and returned CVICU, hoping they would get to see and talk with their Dad, afraid he would pass before they could reach his side. One traveled 16 hours and one 24 hours without updated information.

To understand the urgency, I spent the ten days following the surgery having perfect strangers on the hospital staff look at me with a rather shocked look and say, "He was really, really, REALLY sick." It was a truly blessed miracle that he not only survived but thrives today.

But when I came to prison ministry a few years later I think one of the immediate things I appreciated was how truly awful incarceration is for the prisoner, for the families, for the extended families during times of family crisis. I know some folks are over sentenced (and I thank God so often that we are making some small strides in this area), and some are bearing the weight of truly heinous crimes and some are not guilty of the crime for which they were incarcerated. In fact, being unjustly incarcerated would be horrid and engender resentment. But to have truly "done the crime" seems to me to be even worse when separated from dying loved ones and children growing up without the full presence and support of both parents and being ill ourselves and knowing that we have caused such pain to those we love and innocent children and our parents by our own foolishness.

​So this day I'm thinking about all the folks separated against their highest longing from loved ones due to incarceration, but also do to military service, employment demands, lack of financial resources and all the other things that limit our ability to reach out and touch someone, smile into the eyes of someone important to us. And I'm thanking God with a full heart that while we are separated, physically, emotionally, however we are separated, God's Hand rests gently on us all wherever we are, uniting us in the risen Christ.

Abba Father, Alleluia. Amen.

I've always enjoyed Christmas music. Years of church Christmas programs, as a child, teen, young adult through more recent years have given me a host of memories of a deepening understanding, even on the most challenging Christmas Eves.

Some lyrics are very old, even some traditional music I have sung in Latin and the original language singing of Silent Night Holy Night (Lutheran parochial school) and the more contemporary "light" music that touches my heart and tends my soul.  

But today I'm thinking about Noël Regney and Gloria Shayne. In 1962 they were asked to write a Christmas song but were uncomfortable adding to the growing commercialism of Christmas and during a time of increasing Cold War tensions, a growing involvement in Vietnam, and the Berlin Wall growing stronger daily. As they undertook the work the Cuban Missile Crisis was looming over them.  This background gave me a new perspective on the final verse:
                                             Listen to what I say!
                                             Pray for peace, people everywhere.  
                                             Listen to what I say!
                                             The Child, the Child sleeping in the night
                                             He will bring us goodness and light.

In the midst of the political rhetoric, world unrest, restless financial markets, unimaginable incarceration rates, broken families and broken cities, this speaks to my breaking heart, reminds me of Who is actually in power, and charges me to live intentionally today and everyday.

With that in mind, I expect to get a good nights' sleep, grateful that I have not been left in charge, and so passionately grateful my God is! 

Today I'm thinking about heritage. I do think about family tree things, but that is not what I am considering today.

Today I'm thinking about the ever outward circle of the pebble in the pond that seems to me, when I toss it, to have little effect one way or the other, but in truth may make a big difference to the small lichen growing on the stone that was never expecting to be sent to the briny deep.

This is like acts of kindness. Some years ago a very special man added his willingness to serve with his special skills and gifts and tomorrow morning if I go for a walk around my church's property I will enjoy the fruits of this, although I have never met the man. He planted; he advised. He worked; he taught. He loved with his hands and feet and intellect so year around folks walking on that property, whether for health or solace or comfort or thought or prayer, are blessed by his actions some years past.

What will I leave behind? I am leaving my children and grandchildren so capable of kindness and love; and for that I am grateful to dozens of people who helped make that happen and the God who loves them more and more perfectly that I ever can.

Beyond that, I don't expect to invent the next amazing new thing. I have not built a business or been the best 3rd grade teacher I could ever be. I hope over the years my financial advice has helped folks here and there, but when I transverse the walking trail I don't see that I have added anything that is so enduring in an earthly sense. 

On the other hand, God does not promise that we will understand the good we do, as truly as we are capable of not knowing we are causing serious harm where none was intended. So in the end, my heritage rests in my ability to more closely conform to what God wants me to do, neither demanding to understand, nor rushing off under the steam of my own enthusiasm.

It seems to be an endless journey, but for the baby steps I am grateful.

There is a lot of collateral damage from a moment of selfishness and poor judgement that leads to having a loved one trudging through the legal system. From victims of crime to legal system personnel to perpetrators to the families of all the above.

But today I'd like to discuss one that is spoken of in soft voices with quiet tears running mascara down a carefully made-up cheek. Grandmothers. We know that compared to the others affected by the backwash of crime and the ensuing legal trek, ours is not so bad. Oh, I don't mean the grandmothers who are now raising their grandchildren, because these folks deserve all the support and kindness we can offer.

No, I mean those of us whose children are dealing with the loss of their own child and so we are experiencing estrangement from that child's child::
                  It may be because of actions of said child.
                  It may be that the "other parent" simply wants to move on from the sadness, expense and chaos of
                          being involved with an incarcerated person or someone who has been incarcerated. 
                  The former son-in-law may move to another city to be nearer his own family.
                  The daughter-in-law may marry someone who would just as soon forget that part of her and her
                          children's past.
                  The aunt may move the children across several states to keep them out of foster care.
                  The grandparent who was caring for the children may develop such significant health issues that the                                 children are moved to a family member some distance away.

However it happens, it leaves grandparents torn between trying to be supportive of what must be while trying to bind up a broken heart.

We want what is best for the child. We believe that the caregiver also loves the child and will care for them well, but still our heart breaks.  Every holiday, every birthday, old pictures from better days, longing to know that things are well....a silent sorrow often not known even to our closest friends.

Bear with these grandmothers and grandfathers, lifting them up in prayer that they may be filled with gratitude that God has their grandchildren in His care at all times and in all places; and show them how to rely on God for healing of their tender broken grandparent hearts.

To be brutally honest, I don't remember a lot of sermons over the many years I have been attending church. I hope I have assimilated from many bits of wisdom and incorporated them into my journey of growing trust and understanding of God, but not many sermons actually stand out as being  'very important' looking back over the decades.

So when a specific sermon has been floating around in my heart and head for thirty plus years I think it is worth revisiting.

One 1980s Christmas Eve Pastor Keith* shared his perspective on why the shepherds, folks of little if any importance in the culture, financial world or halls of education in the times of Jesus ministry where chosen to hear the heralding of The News. He believed it was very simple: (1) Unlike Herod (political leader) and the Sadducees and Pharisees (religious leaders from the left and the right), they had no agenda that they needed to protect when they realized the Messiah had stepped onto the world stage. (2) Unlike the business leaders, they were not wholly focused on protecting their bottom line. (3) Unlike the academics, they did not stop to debate and argue the way to respond. (4) The shepherds were able and willing to focus completely on The News and respond wholly and immediately.

Oh, Lord of Lord, Prince of Peace, Savior of the World, help me to be more like the shepherds, undistracted when You place opportunities before me, unafraid to respond with a whole heart. Lord, I'd like to think if a whole company of angels appeared before me I would pay attention, but the sad truth is that amazing things happen around me everyday that I do not fully appreciate, embrace or respond to as I might. Thank you that you keep pouring amazing things into my life and so persistently nudge me to pay better attention and respond more passionately. AMEN

Luke 8-20 as translated in the Complete Jewish Bible:  

​In the countryside nearby were some shepherds spending the night in the fields, guarding their flocks, when an angel of Adonai appeared to them, and the Sh’khinah of Adonai shone around them. They were terrified; but the angel said to them, “Don’t be afraid, because I am here announcing to you Good News that will bring great joy to all the people. This very day, in the town of David, there was born for you a Deliverer who is the Messiah, the Lord. Here is how you will know: you will find a baby wrapped in cloth and lying in a feeding trough.” Suddenly, along with the angel was a vast army from heaven praising God:

“In the highest heaven, glory to God!
And on earth, peace among people of good will!”
​
No sooner had the angels left them and gone back into heaven than the shepherds said to one another, “Let’s go over to Beit-Lechem and see this thing that has happened, that Adonai has told us about.”  Hurrying off, they came and found Miryam and Yosef, and the baby lying in the feeding trough. Upon seeing this, they made known what they had been told about this child; and all who heard were amazed by what the shepherds said to them. Miryam treasured all these things and kept mulling them over in her heart.  Meanwhile, the shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for everything they had heard and seen; it had been just as they had been told.

*Keith Kloukau, delightful pastor and child of God

I love reading Christian apologetics, where folks like C. S. Lewis or Og Mandino share their experiences, observations and ideas about God. They are generally very gentle in sharing their perspective rather than didactically demanding a single, "true" interpretation of a particular scripture which is such a temptation to very intelligent and well read and researched theologians.

I am much more attracted to folks with an approach that shares their experiences without demanding that mine "match up". For one thing, I don't see how any human being could ever be so utterly sure that they understand the smallest idea of God with any totality at all. And so often theological writing has that arrogant edge the seems to imply that no one who is not as academically gifted could ever understand God as well as the pontificator.

But here is what I believe: truth is truth and we struggle all our lives to get past the busyness of the world and the noise of debates and the fear of not getting it "right enough". And God says:  As high as the heavens are above the earth, so high are my ways and thoughts above yours.  (Recorded in Isaiah 55:9)  This makes perfect sense to me because I don't see how anyone, no matter how able, gifted, or smart, but anchored in a given place and time, could ever get more than slightly clear on the truth of God, Yahweh, Adonai, Jehovah Japtha, and so many other names describing God.

So I am left relying on the Spirit of God to provide discernment (a process of seeking the best possible answer), guidance, enlightenment, growing trust and all the other blessings which flow from my relationship with God. I think how very frustrating it would be if a toddler refused to learn what they did not before hand understand, and this is how I see myself. As I trust God I understand more but never fully...because I am not God. 

But I am profoundly delighted and amazed that God invites me into a relationship where I can understand God at all, love God with a whole heart and seek continually to serve God more effectively by God's abundant mercy to me.

I was so sure there was plenty of time! Where did it all go? I did seem to have it pretty much "altogether" and now I'm feeling anxious about getting important things done. Scratchy throat and headache....I just want to go back to bed.

This seems to be the way life works....confidence, anxiety....orderly, messy....generous, frightened. Through the years the yaw* has narrowed as I get more efficient at choosing my response to a situation, identifying alternative actions that are kinder than my gut reaction, and am tenderly schooled by the Spirit of God to become more deeply the person I was created to be.

My prayer for us today:

Eternal God, You must find our hurrying gently humorous since You are the Lord of all time. Help me to be kind to my self, taking care to trust You will help get the important stuff done and the rest does not matter. Thank you for each person you send my way, Lord, whether they offer me a moment of kindness or an opportunity to show mercy. Thank you for being my ever trustworthy core of peace and hope and joy and love. AMEN

* Yaw: a twisting or oscillation of a moving ship or aircraft around a vertical axis.

I stepped out into the night on a quiet suburban street and was startled to see that the lack of immediate Christmas and street lights allowed the night sky to display a wide and dense display of stars. When I was in a hurricane black-out a few years ago one of the most stark experiences was to realize how much ambient light in normal "modern times" blotted out the visibility of stars. Last night for a moment my heart was transported to that delightful experience.

There is so much noise and light and hustle and bustle that a lot of delightful things get covered over, obscured and overlooked.  A small child's look of amazement at the "fancy" Christmas lights, the joy on the face of a frail family member as their days of boredom and illness are broken by family visits, the person with little or no family who feels a little less invisible when a friend calls or drops by.

As much "Joy of the Season" as we enjoy, there are so very many people for whom this is a tough time of year. When you struggle to make rent, Christmas can be a stretch and a bad cold that requires a trip to the drug store or an unpaid day off work can make things even worse. Many people over the years have shared memories of a Christmas where they were laid off only days before and the panic often has faded into a memory of a Christmas where we learned to pay more attention to the true reason for the season. But for folks in the midst of chaos, who can only foresee a future of persistently dismal, marginal living, it becomes hard to pay attention to anything but keeping it together today.

So today, say thank you to the bell ringer and cough up the cost of a latte instead of pocket change to add to the pot. Look around your neighborhood for someone who might find a small treat a big blessing. Ask your pastor if there is someone in your church family that is shut-in or has limited resources who would appreciate a simple meal either delivered or shared. Include your children. I hear so many folks who remember with particular warmth times when their families worked in food pantries or bought for Toys for Tots.

The closer we draw to The Holidays the more challenge it is to keep focus, live our values and balance opportunities wisely. 

Choose to be the light.  This is where the best memories are built.
​

No one lights a lamp and puts it under a bowl; instead it is put on the lamp stand, where it gives light for everyone in the house. In the same way your light must shine before people, so that they will see the good things you do and praise your Father in heaven. Matthew 5: 15-16

'I'm suffering now, but I'll get even." How did this sentiment get so deeply ingrained in our culture. Is it only in our culture? Apparently not, if you watch the world news because it seems ancient feuds still play out with innocents dying daily somewhere on the planet.

But I do understand how folks suffering extraordinary sorrow find this posture tempting. In pain and fear we long for relief. During times of great distress I have found balm in Psalm 130:

Out of the depths I cry to you, O Lord!
    O Lord, hear my voice!
Let your ears be attentive
    to the voice of my pleas for mercy!
If you, O Lord, should mark iniquities,
    O Lord, who could stand?

But the Psalmist does not stop here: he claims God's Love and Promised redemption with these words:

But with you there is forgiveness,
    that you may be feared. (respected)
I wait for the Lord, my soul does wait,
    and in his word do I hope;
my soul waits for the Lord
    more than watchmen wait for the morning.
O Israel, hope in the Lord!
    For with the Lord there is steadfast love,
    and with him is plentiful redemption.
And he will redeem Israel
    from all his iniquities.

At our darkest moments, during our most fearful and despairing times, God longs for us to keep our focus on Him rather than on our fears, uncertainties, distractions and sense of being forsaken. God longs for us to embrace His peace, His love, His guidance, His capacity and willingness to redeem and restore us to the purpose for which we were created.

And an essential part of this is letting go of our fear of our enemies. This is not something that I even know how to do outside of God's help, but I have experienced the power of it. When we fail to return rage for rage and hate for hate we do confuse those who would harm us.

And when we pray for those who would harm us, we open ourselves to new ways to respond with wisdom and insight that can initiate some amazing changes in situations. Does this mean that we should passively accept being abused, be it verbal, financial, emotional, sexual or physical? I do not believe that is what is meant at all. I believe that when we are freed from emotional and rage-filled responses, we are better able to protect ourselves and our loved ones with God doing the heavy lifting. I know that I have never made a better decision because I let my emotions run away with my judgement and I only learned to manage that as I let God teach me new ways of doing..

That is why, when I read this today: Jesus said, “I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” from Matthew 5:44, I was filled with gratitude for every time God's mercy has been poured out on me in ways that have allowed me to take the high road. By God's abundant grace, I pray I will continue to grow in ways that make this a more instinctive response. Until then I'll just keep working on intentionally making this choice.

Because this way of living makes more room in my life for joy and peace and hope and love.

Looking back over my childhood Christmases I find I remember only a handful of gifts I received. My stronger memories are of singing in the choir at church, the first year I was able to buy gifts for my parents with my first small job, spending time with family, a Christmas dance on a double date with my best friends where we came too close to an accident to remain blithely certain of our immortality. So little that was special had to do with getting stuff.

Yet how many a times have I been distressed about getting enough "stuff" for my own children and grandchildren. All of my grandchildren could open a toy store with their existing stock and, though they sometimes get focused on a "must have" toy for themselves, often they seem also to be overwhelmed with how much "stuff" they are already burdened with.

I listen to my own children speak of their childhood memories and they include service activities, developing close friends, spending time with family include those no longer on this Earth.

So today I am thinking about these words as translated in the Complete Jewish Bible recorded in the sixth chapter of Deuteronomy, versus 5 thru 9:

You are to love Adonai your God with all your heart, all your being and all your resources. These words ... are to be on your heart; and you are to teach them carefully to your children. You are to talk about them when you sit at home, when you are traveling on the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them on your hand as a sign, put them at the front of a headband around your forehead, and write them on the door-frames of your house and on your gates.

Oh, Holy Child of Bethlehem, make me mindful in this time set forth to celebrate Your willingness to come to us, come for us, come to redeem us. Open my eyes to see my little corner of the world to compare my stated values with the way I live before my children, grandchildren, family, friends, neighbors and strangers so to consider how my choices speak to them. Let me show them my heart for You, let me speak about my love for You, let my body language speak of Peace in You even in the midst of Walmart crowds and congested roadways. Let my home reflect what is most important to me in my walk with You. Thank you, Lord Most High, for persisting with us amid the commercialism, greed, one-upmanship and general chaos of these final shopping and shipping and baking days. Even when my focus drifts, You always hold on to me tightly so I can release my floundering ship to Your loving control, Abba Father. AMEN

The evening news was playing on the TV while I was bustling around the house this evening and there was an almost shrill tone as the newscasters aired a story about how time was almost up to get last minute shopping done. Hilarious! I know several male acquaintances who don't start until noon on Christmas Eve. Thirteen days out seems a bit early to start panicking. 

But still, this is one of those years where Thanksgiving and Christmas are really quite close together and my teacher son is counting the number of days to semester break. I attended an event this afternoon that was rather lightly attended because of conflicting commitments, funerals, illness and I'll bet some people got it on their calendar for the wrong date...or am I the only one that does that?

There is certainly a lot of activity and it can build to a sense of urgency about "getting it all done," but we have choices. If there is no fire and no blood, there is time to pause and make thoughtful choices. If it does not get done, will something awful happen? Can you put something off until after Christmas or the first of the year? Can you do a pared down version like taking a store-bought treat rather than the most amazing dish you have ever made?

So I suggest this...if it is really important slow down a bit and let God light your path. If it is truly not important, don't bother with it. Be intentional about being a light to the world and equally intentional about letting go of the trivial. Go for joy over fun. Go for kindness over glitter. Go for thoughtful over impressive.

Then you will notice when this happens:  Those who hope in the LORD will ...run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.  Isaiah 40:31.

Just have a minute to post. We are in the midst of a delightful insanity known as Angel Tree ministry. Yesterday morning I thought I was going to do a quick pick-up and instead spend 8 hours helping to sort hundreds of packages (about 2 times more than the team was expecting).

And I have been in time crunches before, with last minute changes and anxiety to get the job done but this one was different than most. These folks were so grounded in their passion to gets these gifts to the kids, wrapped in such a deep understanding that they were not in charge and could only be hands and feet. 

Each person, without ego, worked steadily to add what they could to the outcome. We were coordinating with national staff by phone and had a national staff person on site all of whom were uniformly steady and effectively looking for ways to help. Volunteers, all of whom were in the middle of something that was not what we expected, were calling for help, and Teen Challenge volunteers answered the call, They were full of energy, respect and varied abilities that were especially crucial to getting the tasks completed.

So, because of yesterday's delay, my day today is very, very busy so I will leave you with this thought:

When God wants something done, truly you can get with the program or get out of the way, because amazing things happen with good will, respect and an opportunity for each participant to give their best gifts to the process. God assures that this is exactly enough to accomplish His purposes.

Pray for us! 

I am active in prison ministry for several reasons, among the most significant is this: I believe folks in prison who live with boredom, fear, guilt and needing a hope for their tomorrows may be at the best place in all their lives to listen to new ideas about alternative ways to live. If we can't demonstrated kindness and love in way that gets them thinking and considering what it might mean if God does indeed love them, now, today, everyday, then what are the odds we can do this effectively in the free world?

Once they return to the challenges (emotional, financial, physical, family or no family, finding work, fitting in at work) of regular living overlaid with special issues facing those recovering from incarceration, broken thinking, and all that brought them to be incarcerated, it is much harder to find the space to consider how loving God might make a difference, if it is possible that God could love them with all the errs they have made, if it is possible to build a different kind of life with God's help.

My faith is stronger and my respect huge for these folks who find their relationship with God in jails and prisons and recovery facilities, who struggle as restored followers of Christ or baby followers of Christ in such stark circumstances. 

St. Paul wrote, "​Just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live your lives in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness." (Col 2:6-7) When I think what that means in a jail or prison it takes my breath away and drives me to my knees in prayer for folks who cling to God with such passion in such stark circumstances. They may experience mocking, disbelief, even hostility from other prisoners and even prison staff who have seen oh so many folks invoke the name of Jesus in an effort to work the system.

Then they live such narrow lives with all their time account for and most of their "decisions" made for them. They can't just call up the chaplain to ask a spiritual question. They can't take the day off to meditate and read their Bible. They can't run by the chapel to pray for their children or a struggling fellow prisoner. They can't join hands and pray with someone struggling (no touching and no exceptions).  They can't burst into singing praise music to assuage sorrow or express joy.on a whim. Yet even in such conditions faith blooms, grows and attracts new folks to consider this "religion thing" because they live lives that demonstrate the truth of their words and beliefs.

These folks are either building a life inside the institution over long or life sentences or they are released into a world that takes a lot of getting used to. In the free world also they can experience mocking, disbelief and even hostility from family, and the folks at a church they are thinking of attending, finding work which they must execute with far less attentive supervision then they have been experiencing and managing many new freedoms, fitting back into their families if they ever had one and if they are still welcoming, restoring relationships with children and figuring out how to be involved in their lives in positive ways. I think I would find that all very overwhelming. And into all that they struggle to stay the course of growing spiritually and finding ways to be the hands and feet of God to folks who often think themselves distinctly superior.

But maybe in facing such stark challenges they are actually more willing to accept the need to be rooted and built up in Jesus, working intentionally to strengthen their faith and be truly thankful that they have God empowering, teaching, loving and advocating for them. Too often those of us with fewer challenges seem to be rather careless in these matters.

Today won't you pray for new Christians in prisons, and for the more mature Christians in prisons who will teach them, mentor them, pray with them, learn with them? Pray for the staff that deal with these folks that they might more rightly discern how to interact with them that faith might be fanned gently rather than blown out carelessly. Pray for the families that may be supporting this new Christian with rejoicing and passionate thanksgiving because they have been longing for such a time as this. And pray for families who, still struggling with their own spiritual issues and old resentments, might find the idea of the prisoner finding God's forgiveness to be a bitter pill.

And today, decide also for yourself to be rooted and built up in Christ Jesus, seeking a growing faith in God's love, and choosing every day to find things to be thankful for, so that we might be as serious and intentional in our faith as folks who face challenges we can only faintly appreciate.

Life is full of give and take. Who we give to and what we give to them is important. Who we take from and what we take from them is important.

My son would say, "You judge my friends harshly, Mom!" And I was frustrated to explain that I had been given from God deep and true affection for his friends, but also discernment about where the choices his friends were making would lead them. Even these many years later, two friends who have productive work lives and warm family relationships were on the path to a good life despite desperate challenges even when they were quite young. And so are many, many still stuck asking "Why are things not better for me?" without making changes in their choices.

We see this with such stark clarity with many of the young people caught up in the legal system. A startling number of young offenders are graduates of the foster care system.  Who offers these kids a place to get a meal and run a load of laundry through when money is tight. Who do they call to go with them when they buy their first car or are thinking about getting married? Who tells them that all the challenges of being 18 or 19 or 20-something are normal and this is part of laying the foundation from which we operate in the future? Who tells them cautionary tales about long-ago family black sheep and how they turned things around? Who tells them about the heroes in their family tree? Who listens to them? Who coaches them? Who prays passionately for them?

Some kids are better served because they are fostered by grandparents, older siblings, aunts and uncles. I've known some of these folks over the years and most expend money and energy that restricts their own lives and choices as they struggle to instill hope for the future in children they love. And they try to be a safety net as best they can, but years of providing financial and emotional support can leave them with struggles of their own as they deal with age, illness, looming retirement and balancing the needs of other family members.

So today I ask you to pause before you judge, for the person you see as "lesser" may actually be a hero fighting odds you never imagine. And pause before you see the person as "nearly perfect," because nearly everyone needs a kind word or a generous moment as they struggle with sorrows we never guess.

Yes, my friend Seegar, I have learned to give folks a little leeway, cut them a little slack, choose to assume the best rather than the worst, quash my impulse to assume I could do better with their lives if I were driving. Thank you for all the prickly people I have found have tender hearts, all the loud people who have lonely hearts, all the abrupt people who have broken hearts that I would have missed knowing had I not had that conversation with you.

Stop judging by mere appearances, and make a right judgment. John 7:24

What anchors us? What is so important to us that we give up stuff to protect our roots and to stay grounded? Family? Community? Country? Profession? Honor? Duty? Wisdom? Knowledge? Generosity? Creativity? Kindness?

Or we may be putting down roots of  discord, materialism, self-righteousness, selfishness, hopelessness, despair, fear and discontent.

We all have some of both worthwhile and destructive options in the actions we take and actions we eschew, how we spend our money, how we earn our money, how we spend our time, who we spend our time with, what thoughts we stir around in our heads and what thoughts we introduce and pursue in our heads.

St. Paul wrote, I pray that Christ will live in your hearts because of your faith. I pray that your life will be strong in love and be built on love.* We choose each day, many times each day, to embrace our fears and our ideas of what is in our own self-interest, or we turn our face toward God's love and build on love so that God's love informs all the decisions we make.

In what direction will you row today? What will you embrace today? What will you fertilized today?

*Ephesians 3:16-17 

Life is so darn unfair. We make a small mistake and pay a huge and life-changing price with a DUI manslaughter charge and, worse, the knowledge that our carelessness cost the life of another and that is just so darn unfair. And sometimes we do the right thing, and still we get into trouble, maybe even big trouble when bad people are determined to punish us or our families for not following their evil lead and that is just so darn unfair. And it seems like no one cares or if they care, they can't fix it.

All this is true.

Others make small mistakes and pay no equivalent price. Others do really bad stuff and seem to skate through life with no consequences. Too many folks go blithely about their daily lives without any awareness of how awful things are for us.

So, what do we do about it?

Choice 1: Stay mad. Get madder. Be self-righteous about our situation, demanding our situation is worse than anyone else has ever known. Stay focused on our own loss and embrace our right to be miserable.

Choice 2: Let go a little of the emotion. Start looking for what you can accomplish where you are, even in the midst of unfair and miserable circumstances. Take a step to do well for yourself. Have compassion for your loved ones who suffer with you, even if they seem to have a lot of stuff you'd like to have yourself. Find something to be grateful for...that one adult who listened, that good friend who spared resources for your well-being even though they had so little for themselves. Do something kind to someone who does not deserve it. Forgive someone for something. Start talking to God and listening to folks who have found God to be relevant and trustworthy and important.

Now, the second seems like a lot of work, but here is a little secret: these choices are the same for everyone in the whole world every day. Everyone has crumby stuff. Every one has unfair stuff. Everyone can find something to be grateful for. We each and all have choices that improve or damage our lives each and every day.

If you make the first choice, life will continue to be a self-fulfilling prophecy of misery and woe. But still each day you can make the other choice.

If you take the second road, life will never be dull or hopeless because there will always be new things to learn and experience, new possibilities, underlying even the darkest and most desperate days, of love and hope and purpose.

The choice is ours, but I will give this caution: to opt for choice 2 can also lead to challenges and choices and difficulties that can tempt us to revert to option 1, but God helps us see truth...Choice one is choosing to give up, give in and surrender until we eventually wrongly believe we have no choice at all.

"He delivered me, because he delighted in me.*" I read that this week and have been thinking about what an amazing statement this is. The preceding part of the verses copied below speaks of a time when the petitioner is in great trials, helpless to break free, at his weakest. I think we can all relate to those feelings, born in times of fear and loss and uncertainty.

Oh, the situation is certainly variable from a best friend moving away in 1st grade and our first teenage break-up to holding a parent's hand as they draw their last breath, or burying a child, or facing a serious illness. There are many degrees of distress as viewed from outside. But when we are experiencing these things, it is no comfort to think that things may get worse. Still, as we move through each challenge, each fear-filled situation, and experience God's abiding presence, God's plan unfolding, God pouring His strength into our situation, we grow more trusting and more able to rely on God earlier in the next crisis. In fact, eventually we learn to be aware of God in our lives on a more persistent, daily basis, and actually find that we can experience God's nearness in a beautiful sunrise or a child's smile and don't actually have to wait for impending doom to have a conversation, seek His guidance, or be aware of the amazing Grace that He pours out upon us.

But all that aside, how amazing is this idea that God delights in me? When I am at my lowest, painfully aware of the part my own willfulness and foolishness has contributed to the challenges I face, I don't feel very delightful. When I am allowing fear and rage to dominate my thinking, my breathing, my relationships, my choices until I am clinging to the very things that cause the chaos, I don't feel very delightful. When my frustration and self-righteousness fling invective, spewing hateful words over those I love and for for whom I am afraid, I don't feel very delightful.

Yet at this specific time, the Psalmist proclaims, God is fully able and willing and committed to wrapping us in love and healing and hope so that we can make better choices, heal from past bad choices and, knowing this love and healing, we can be loving and kind to others who are all too painfully like own ourselves - hopeless, helpless and heartbroken.

This is truly amazing: God sees past our brokenness to the child He created us to be, a loving, hopeful, kind, courageous, strong, able, important sort of person born to minister to His other children. He delights in His children, not because we are broken, but because in our brokenness we begin to understand where our true hope lies. In our brokenness we begin to understand that as God forgives us, so we are bound and required to proclaim God's forgiveness to our broken world.

And, yes, sometimes words help with this, but the strongest message lies in the way we live our lives as forgiven sons and daughters of the Most High.

Almighty God, let my life speak of Your love. Let my willingness to share my own brokenness help others see You as available to them. Let the difference Your forgiveness and care make in my life give hope to others. Let my persistent need to pick myself up and dust myself off offer hope to others who need to understand Your persistent willingness to love us and guide us and tend us at all times and in all places. AMEN

He reached down from heaven and took me and drew me out of my great trials. He rescued me from deep waters. He delivered me from my strong enemy, from those who hated me—I who was helpless in their hands. On the day when I was weakest, they attacked. But the Lord held me steady.He led me to a place of safety, for he delights in me. Psalm 18:16-19 (TLB)

Facebook is, as are all temporal things, both a bane and a blessing. Its amorphous nature where things are forwarded without adequate attribution or where distant acquaintances forward their version of "ultimate truth" into our lives does not help our rising sense of overwhelming distress that floods our lives via 24-7 media of all sorts.

So here is a question: if you could use no words, would folks suspect you were a follower of Christ?

You see, we what do is much more who we are than what we say is who we are. I remember my mother laughingly and seriously saying, "Do as I say and not as I do" when she was battling various unhealthy things like smoking cigarettes and over-eating. But I also know that as she made changes and new choices in her life, it spoke far more loudly into my life than any lecture or platitude ever did.

For those of us with a loved one involved in the legal system, incarcerated or darting into various dangerous life-style dangers, we have often talked ourselves hoarse trying to get the attention of a run-amok child of any age. So, if we keep doing what we are doing, how can we expect to get anything other than what we have got?

If, like me, you are a hollerer, speaking softly amid the din can surprisingly get attention in new and healthier ways. (For the most part, speaking softly does not raise my blood pressure....at least once I got the hang of it.) Adjusting cooking and eating choices or making serious choices to park the car at the far end of the parking lot can get folks we love thinking about their own health choices with much more power than pointing fingers. Choosing to forgive an old grudge can open doors to new ideas for folks who have rolled their eyes at our decades old anger.

I'm not opposed to you sending me a Facebook commentary (although flooding me can lead to me liking you but not following you) but I'm more interested in how you are worshiping, what volunteer activities you find worthwhile and if you would welcome me to come too, and whose work you sacrificially support financially. Because, much as I love you, your forwarded opinions are not as important to me as the things you do and choose not to do, and if you welcome me into your day-to-day life.

Consider what your life looks like and if it reflects what you believe in. Because, you see, we need doers in this world...prayers, workers, huggers, builders, kind-word speakers, serious seekers of truth that can be lived every day. Let me know where you are succeeding in those things. Ask me to pray for you, if you want. I'd be delighted to support development of your best self in any way you think might help.

Because, I see God in your face -- when you laugh, and love and strive and learn --
Because when you are lonely, hungry, angry, exhausted, ill, in prison, I remember God saying that how I treat you is how I treat God--
Because of who you are and because of what you do --
You bless me (and lots of other folks) every day!

But the Facebook rants, not so much. Instead, let's start a new Facebook trend...today let's share something wonderful in our own personal lives, something we did differently, something we need prayer for, something we need help doing, something important we are considering that might make a difference by doing it together!

Now that would be something new and exciting for the evening news.