Here we are at the end of one year and the beginning of another.

I'm grateful for all I have learned and all the opportunities for service that have been given to me over the past 12 months.

But I am even more excited about all the opportunities that lie ahead for next year and that is with the understanding that I might never see 2016. I've had life change on a dime too many times to have any illusions about any tomorrow.

But so far, God has been opening some interesting doors and stirring some interesting ideas in my head. Now if I can just keep practicing this weakly developed but much needed skill: being willing to step out in faith without taking over the wheel. I ask for prayers and expect to need them as long as I have breath.

Because I believe that one of the most essential elements of my live as I seek to follow Christ is to accept that I will never fully "get it", but will always be working on "getting it clearer, deeper, with greater trust". My God does not change, but my God does demand, support, and call me to change every day, seeking to trim the times I drift off to the the left or to the right and reducing the time it takes for me to realize I've lost focus.

Fortunately, He never leaves me to my own limited abilities, but pours out wisdom, growth, forgiveness, hope, peace, purpose and love in full to the capacity I have to that point, then nudges me forward to be able to expand to enjoy even more.

I ran across this recently and it really cheered me up. They shall still bear fruit in old age; they shall be green and succulent.* I've been feeling a little creaky, and slow getting over an inconvenient medical issue. I'm frustrated that a day that would have been an energy builder when my children were younger leaves me ready for a nap after a good romp with grandchildren.

But God is so good. He pours experiences and learning and wisdom into our early years so when our body is slowing down, our spiritual resilience and discernment can keep on climbing. Oh, I still believe I have plenty more to learn as long as I have breath and I do sometimes grieve for the loss of a body that had more stamina; but still, I find getting older to be a delight at a slowly increasing rate...emphasis on slowly.

If you believe you are past your capacity to serve, please reconsider. If your health is frail you can use medical appointments as an opportunity to speak kindly and show mercy to everyone you meet from other patients and their caregivers to the staff and professionals. If you are frightened and upset about moving into a nursing home, to the best of your ability spend what energy you have being loving toward other patients and staff. If you have little or no family, be family to other folks you run into. If you don't get out much beyond the grocery store, seek opportunities to shine there or if someone brings the things you need to you, emphasize your appreciation rather than exhausting them with a diatribe on the unfairness of your situation. All of us can pray for others. If you can't think of anyone to pray for, check out the evening news and it is important for each of us to pray for ourselves.

In my mother's final months (a frail resident of a nursing home with plenty of challenges) she said she'd rather "go out expending her life rather than letting it dribble away." This she did and her example was a final extraordinary gift.

 * Psalm 92:13

The Kansas City Star newspaper had an unusual headline on Sunday morning: "Journey to new beginnings". It was unusual because it spoke of something very uplifting in a time when most headlines are just plain depressing.

And it is unusual because it introduces an article about a hand full of nuns (ages 72 to 87) who had a crazy kind of idea: keep serving and loving, but in a way few women of their ages (even nuns) would dare to try.  Two years ago they were called to start a not-for-profit called Journey House although the full importance of their calling would not become clear until last spring when the DOC of Missouri closed a re-entry program that had been providing a way for people being released to return to society with small steps and an opportunity to be employed prior to their release date. This made the need for residential re-entry programs suddenly more urgent than ever and the Journey House Board and nuns were already on track to meet some of the need.

In September they opened a re-entry home for women seeking to recover from incarceration and to return to being the asset to their community that God intended for them to be. Fifteen recently released or newly on-probation women, who had been significantly wounded long before incarceration pilled-on, are working on life-skills: healthy decision-making skills, financial skills, employment skills, healthy body skills and social skills. They are learning to trust and to be trustworthy, to beat back fear with love and hope. They are learning to forgive themselves and forgive others who have wronged them and to take responsibility for the wrongs they have done. They are learning how to have a friend and how to be a friend in wholly new ways.

The waiting list for the program is growing and they are excited when another woman is ready to step forward and relinquish their spot to the next woman in line. I have no doubt that they will persistently reach a hand back to help others as they have been helped.

It is too early to provide statistics to impress donors, but the healing and hope reflected in all these faces: nuns, staff, volunteers, and participants tell us that it is making an amazing difference today.

There are changes coming. I know this because there are always changes coming. Some we identify as good and others as dangerous or unsettling. In truth, most change has elements of both.

But the change I am thinking of today is that there is a rising tide of support for reform of the criminal justice system in the United States. The damage of excessive incarceration has become so self-evident with most folks in the system, from judges and chaplains to wardens and parole officers that authoritative voices are rising and letters are being written and voting records are being evaluated by folks with a passion for a more just society. I don't think anyone wants the USA to be the leading incarcerator (ahead of Russia and Rwanda and nearly 7 times higher than Canada). 

I wish I had access to a major university's resources so I could statistically correlate the rising incarcerations rates with the rising poverty rates. This is not because I believe the majority of crime is caused by physical poverty but rather because the financial, health and family support needed to have the least harsh outcomes within the legal system (I just can't say criminal justice with a straight face any longer.) is in short supply in families too often being casually crushed quickly for relatively small matters. They have limited resources before and much less during and for a long time after a family member has been incarcerated.

I think this hit home in a new way when a husband and wife convicted in the Enron debacle were allowed to be incarcerated serially rather than concurrently so their children would not be as damaged. I think that is a great idea, but I'm a little queasy when I realize that so many other family would be in a better position if that had been available to them; but they could not afford high-dollar, powerful and creative attorneys. You know, as many people as I hear bemoaning their perception of "mollycoddling of criminals" I don't remember a single slap at this...because who wants children injured more than necessary? But this is even more vitally important in families whose financial and personal capital has been decimated by the criminal behavior of one of their family members.

Prison Fellowship states it well:

A truly just system

• allows for punishment that fits the crime;
• makes restitution to and for the victims of crime;
• to the maximum extent possible, rehabilitates the criminal; and then
• with needed skills and new maturity, restores the individual to society where they can shoulder                                    their personal, family and community responsibilities with dignity and purpose.

Because justice has been co-oped for political purposes, we have a long way to go to helping these folks start being tax payers rather than tax liabilities. But it is in the best interest of us all that this happens. The change will not be without challenges and we each and all need to become more aware, more informed, more involved.

Take the time to read criminal justice related articles in newspapers, magazines and on-line; pay attention to the source of the material. Check out free Kindle books on restorative justice and prison ministry. Do not let fear and dis-ease make you fodder for the "news snippet political and quasi-journalistic cannon bombast" where the more affluent and powerful need only turn their backs on the needs of society as a whole in order to benefit from injustice.

Look with courage, because if I may paraphrase Leroy "Satchel" Paige, something is definitely gaining on us. And God entrusts to us the capacity to meet it with courage and a willingness to be God's Hands and Feet or to bury our heads ever deeper into the darkness of ignorance and fear leaving an attractive target for evil's boot, but certainly no protection.

Even as a child I looked forward to THE WEEK, the time between Christmas and the New Year when the house had lost the Christmas hustle. The leftovers were even more delicious than the original meals. The best Christmas cookies were wholly consumed, but the remaining ones were yummy and had been expanded by gift tins heaped with other folks' Christmas kitchen arts. There were gifts to enjoy: new books to read, new toys and games to play with, new clothes in my dresser. The parents were happy to just be left alone and were not excited about starting a new project during such a relaxing time.

So today I'll take the tree down, pack away the Christmas decorations, sort the leftovers to "eat fast" or freeze, all at a pace that is leisurely. The weather is threatening to end our Indian Summer fall and early winter and I'm happy for an excuse to stay close to home this weekend.

So maybe now I'll find more time to think about how interesting it all is. No matter how the World may fuss and fume with atheist rhetoric and efforts to co-op the story by kindly folks seeking to build bridges to what they do not understand; no matter the efforts to replace the forgiveness of Christ with the manipulation of the Elf-On-The-Shelf and no matter the general secularization, this celebration that spans the globe and the centuries and cultures and ethnicities with a unique message of forgiveness, love, purpose and hope, still persists.

As we drove to church and family events over Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, I was struck again by the stillness of it all. Fast food restaurants, malls, service organizations, corporations all closed in response to the Christmas story. I can think of nothing else that has built such a track record. What other time is so likely to prompt the courage to attempt a reconciliation? What other time is so likely to engender the courage to respond with forgiveness rather than fear? What other time in the bustling USA does generosity of time and money pour forth in such abundance across such a wide spectrum of need?

Try as the World may, it cannot match the track record of the Love of the Child filling us so fully that we feel courageous enough to be generous, carve out time for others, consider mercy, practice forgiveness and experience the Love of God in new ways --  God's perpetual Christmas gift to us. This Love can draw us to a more persistent and consistent sharing of that gift with others by the way we live, love, laugh, work; grow in spirit and seek wisdom; be respectful of our mortal bodies; take time and spend time rather than struggle against time; remember more intentionally what we have rather, than what we covet; and allow love to drive out fear by the power of the Spirit of God with us.

I plan to be more Scrooge-like -- that is, more like the post-Christmas Scrooge of whom it was written:

(Scrooge speaking.) “I will honour Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year. I will live in the Past, the Present, and the Future. The Spirits of all Three shall strive within me. I will not shut out the lessons that they teach!” 
― Charles Dickens, A Christmas Carol

O, Emmanuel, Son of the Father, thank You for sending us the Spirit of God every day, offering insight, wisdom, discernment, hope, faith, peace, forgiveness, reconciliation, redemption, renewal, purpose and Love, the greatest of which is Love. Bestir me to be Your Hands and Feet as You open my eyes to the needs of Your Children and where my resources will help. AMEN

Some years ago my husband had a very serious heart attack. One son was about 900 miles away on the same continent, but one was stationed in Asia and the Red Cross did the notifying and the travel plans and his Chaplin came to give his support, too. The one in the US made plans to come even though his own health was fragile at the time and he drove through arriving in time to pick his brother up at the airport.

Even in the midst of such an uncertain and fearful time I was aware that, although I sometimes I felt I had A LOT of information being thrown my way and sometimes I felt I need to know so much more, I could look at my husband and watch his chest rise and fall, knowing he was till breathing in that moment. His sons traveled hopefully and anxiously as he underwent emergency surgery and returned CVICU, hoping they would get to see and talk with their Dad, afraid he would pass before they could reach his side. One traveled 16 hours and one 24 hours without updated information.

To understand the urgency, I spent the ten days following the surgery having perfect strangers on the hospital staff look at me with a rather shocked look and say, "He was really, really, REALLY sick." It was a truly blessed miracle that he not only survived but thrives today.

But when I came to prison ministry a few years later I think one of the immediate things I appreciated was how truly awful incarceration is for the prisoner, for the families, for the extended families during times of family crisis. I know some folks are over sentenced (and I thank God so often that we are making some small strides in this area), and some are bearing the weight of truly heinous crimes and some are not guilty of the crime for which they were incarcerated. In fact, being unjustly incarcerated would be horrid and engender resentment. But to have truly "done the crime" seems to me to be even worse when separated from dying loved ones and children growing up without the full presence and support of both parents and being ill ourselves and knowing that we have caused such pain to those we love and innocent children and our parents by our own foolishness.

​So this day I'm thinking about all the folks separated against their highest longing from loved ones due to incarceration, but also do to military service, employment demands, lack of financial resources and all the other things that limit our ability to reach out and touch someone, smile into the eyes of someone important to us. And I'm thanking God with a full heart that while we are separated, physically, emotionally, however we are separated, God's Hand rests gently on us all wherever we are, uniting us in the risen Christ.

Abba Father, Alleluia. Amen.

I've always enjoyed Christmas music. Years of church Christmas programs, as a child, teen, young adult through more recent years have given me a host of memories of a deepening understanding, even on the most challenging Christmas Eves.

Some lyrics are very old, even some traditional music I have sung in Latin and the original language singing of Silent Night Holy Night (Lutheran parochial school) and the more contemporary "light" music that touches my heart and tends my soul.  

But today I'm thinking about Noël Regney and Gloria Shayne. In 1962 they were asked to write a Christmas song but were uncomfortable adding to the growing commercialism of Christmas and during a time of increasing Cold War tensions, a growing involvement in Vietnam, and the Berlin Wall growing stronger daily. As they undertook the work the Cuban Missile Crisis was looming over them.  This background gave me a new perspective on the final verse:
                                             Listen to what I say!
                                             Pray for peace, people everywhere.  
                                             Listen to what I say!
                                             The Child, the Child sleeping in the night
                                             He will bring us goodness and light.

In the midst of the political rhetoric, world unrest, restless financial markets, unimaginable incarceration rates, broken families and broken cities, this speaks to my breaking heart, reminds me of Who is actually in power, and charges me to live intentionally today and everyday.

With that in mind, I expect to get a good nights' sleep, grateful that I have not been left in charge, and so passionately grateful my God is! 

Today I'm thinking about heritage. I do think about family tree things, but that is not what I am considering today.

Today I'm thinking about the ever outward circle of the pebble in the pond that seems to me, when I toss it, to have little effect one way or the other, but in truth may make a big difference to the small lichen growing on the stone that was never expecting to be sent to the briny deep.

This is like acts of kindness. Some years ago a very special man added his willingness to serve with his special skills and gifts and tomorrow morning if I go for a walk around my church's property I will enjoy the fruits of this, although I have never met the man. He planted; he advised. He worked; he taught. He loved with his hands and feet and intellect so year around folks walking on that property, whether for health or solace or comfort or thought or prayer, are blessed by his actions some years past.

What will I leave behind? I am leaving my children and grandchildren so capable of kindness and love; and for that I am grateful to dozens of people who helped make that happen and the God who loves them more and more perfectly that I ever can.

Beyond that, I don't expect to invent the next amazing new thing. I have not built a business or been the best 3rd grade teacher I could ever be. I hope over the years my financial advice has helped folks here and there, but when I transverse the walking trail I don't see that I have added anything that is so enduring in an earthly sense. 

On the other hand, God does not promise that we will understand the good we do, as truly as we are capable of not knowing we are causing serious harm where none was intended. So in the end, my heritage rests in my ability to more closely conform to what God wants me to do, neither demanding to understand, nor rushing off under the steam of my own enthusiasm.

It seems to be an endless journey, but for the baby steps I am grateful.