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it is unfair

12/8/2015

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Life is so darn unfair. We make a small mistake and pay a huge and life-changing price with a DUI manslaughter charge and, worse, the knowledge that our carelessness cost the life of another and that is just so darn unfair. And sometimes we do the right thing, and still we get into trouble, maybe even big trouble when bad people are determined to punish us or our families for not following their evil lead and that is just so darn unfair. And it seems like no one cares or if they care, they can't fix it.

All this is true.

Others make small mistakes and pay no equivalent price. Others do really bad stuff and seem to skate through life with no consequences. Too many folks go blithely about their daily lives without any awareness of how awful things are for us.

So, what do we do about it?

Choice 1: Stay mad. Get madder. Be self-righteous about our situation, demanding our situation is worse than anyone else has ever known. Stay focused on our own loss and embrace our right to be miserable.

Choice 2: Let go a little of the emotion. Start looking for what you can accomplish where you are, even in the midst of unfair and miserable circumstances. Take a step to do well for yourself. Have compassion for your loved ones who suffer with you, even if they seem to have a lot of stuff you'd like to have yourself. Find something to be grateful for...that one adult who listened, that good friend who spared resources for your well-being even though they had so little for themselves. Do something kind to someone who does not deserve it. Forgive someone for something. Start talking to God and listening to folks who have found God to be relevant and trustworthy and important.

Now, the second seems like a lot of work, but here is a little secret: these choices are the same for everyone in the whole world every day. Everyone has crumby stuff. Every one has unfair stuff. Everyone can find something to be grateful for. We each and all have choices that improve or damage our lives each and every day.

If you make the first choice, life will continue to be a self-fulfilling prophecy of misery and woe. But still each day you can make the other choice.

If you take the second road, life will never be dull or hopeless because there will always be new things to learn and experience, new possibilities, underlying even the darkest and most desperate days, of love and hope and purpose.

The choice is ours, but I will give this caution: to opt for choice 2 can also lead to challenges and choices and difficulties that can tempt us to revert to option 1, but God helps us see truth...Choice one is choosing to give up, give in and surrender until we eventually wrongly believe we have no choice at all.
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    Jann's son was incarcerated.  She longed for a community where she could connect with others dealing with similar issues.

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