We have ideas about who and what God is but for most God is someone to turn to for help, comfort, and in difficult times. Essentially if our image of God is not "perfectly good" it is at least somewhat good. This can create a difficult situation when we are asking for God's help when we know our own errors or self-centered choices have contributed to the challenges we are wanting to talk to God about. We often feel we don't deserve help from a "good God" even if circumstances are wholly not of our own making.

But God does not have the same perspective: God loves us, longs for us to be blessed and have love and joy and purpose in our lives. God seeks to meet us where we are to demonstrate God's trustworthiness, capacity to help and abiding love because of who God is rather than because of who we are. In other words, God loves because God is love and God loves us where and how we are even now. After we have fallen in love with God, then we are ready to learn how to build a better God-centric life.

So when I'm feeling unlovable or unredeemably broken, it helps me to remember that I am created in the image of God. The best parts of me, my capacity to love and be loved, for kindness and compassion, for courage and joy are reflections of characteristics of God.

​I can affirm with confidence and hope: I AM CREATED IN THE IMAGE OF GOD.

Genesis 1:27 God created humanity in God’s own image, in the divine image God created them, male and female God created them.

Do you ever get something running through your head that just won't quit? Oh, getting a song stuck is irksome, but I'm thinking more about chewing something over and over again. It could be the actions of another that caused pain, anxiety or anger. It could be a problem that needs to be faced. It could be a deep sense of shame, either appropriate or inappropriate. It dogs us during the day and plagues us at night. It can lead to insomnia, addiction and broken lives. Obsession is not God's hope for us.

As we yield to God's wooing, God's calling, God's counsel and advice we begin to be calmed, assured, to be confident and hopeful. We begin to be able to think about things rather than being caught in an abyss of fear and distress and hopelessness.

Here is a good question when I need to make a decision: What are the voices in my head saying?

Do they repeat the worst that has been said to my by the World? Things like, "I'm a mess. I don't deserve good things. When challenges arise it is proof I'm a bad person, God does not care about me. I'm too insignificant for a god if there is a god to care about me. I always ruin things. I'm too broken to be loved. I never get anything right." I'm do not understand why we are so quick to believe the worst about ourselves, but we are too often uncomfortable affirming our better selves and too quick to assume others are in some way "better"--not behaving better but "are better."

As we become acquainted with God we begin to see these lies for the trash they are. God does not create trash. Christ did not die for trash. God created us for a purpose, with natural abilities and with resources like family and community and education, and with challenges that will inform us and teach us that we might be loving to God's other sons and daughters.

If you find things running amok through your head I hope you will squeeze in a prayer. As you keep practicing it will become easier and will open your life to peace, wiser choices, more kindness given and received, and a new perspective. Peace will wash over obsession and love will overcome fear.

Slowly we can drown the habit of negative self-talk. We can affirm God's words to us, accept God's value of us. God sees you as worthy of the sacrifice of Jesus. There is no valid reason to see yourself as less than that.

​If you are struggling with this you might want to check out some of these things that God says about you, the daughter of the King of Kings:  1 John 4:4, 1 John 4:16, 1 John 5:3-4, 1 John 5:14-15, 2 Timothy 2:15; Psalm 139:13, Psalm 139:14, Ephesians 1:4, Ephesians 1:4, Mark 11:24 and hundreds of others. 

Just because I have done all I know to do to rely on God does not mean I don't make errors because I am wholly human and fallible. And this knowledge can sometimes threaten to overwhelm my persistent embrace of God's guidance. I am so grateful God loves so much, because I know I too often fail to trust God while trying to convince myself I'm trying to do the right thing.

In my heart of hearts I have such comfort and am so deeply encouraged when I dance in time with God's leading and love. Yet I get distracted by the shiny worries and buyer's remorse and the discouragement that the World whispers into my ear and the anxiety rises and the self-doubt expands.

But that term self-doubt is the heart of the issue. If I rely on my own wisdom and strength I am only sane to be worried silly about how things will turn out. But when I correctly rely on God's wisdom and strength I am filled with confidence, not in my own abilities but in Gods perfect love of me and ability to provide generously for me.

Maybe I'm asking God with such deep longing to move to a bigger house and God says, "Not yet!" And the next time I try to organize the closet or to find something I've carefully packed away, the temptation is great to feel discouraged and worried about the decision. Then something happens and we realize that what we were planning would have been something of a disaster and, by helping us wait God has gotten our finances where they need to be or the perfect lot has come on the market in a neighborhood that will provide blessings for years to come. The same thing happens in choosing a profession or finding employment or dealing with a health issue or any decision we face.

When tempted to gnaw on a decision carefully made, God welcomes my prayers ASKING for God's Will to be manifest in our lives and my prayers asking God to give me wisdom, patience, discernment, persistence and all the other capacities that will keep me from veering off course. After all, you cannot add any time to your life by worrying about it. (Matt. 6:27)

So the most responsible thing we can do is turn our back on worry and discouragement, trusting God's help and resting in the comfort that God's encouragement is ours for the taking.

I am SO confused. That has been my accurately identified condition when faced with change, demands for a response or considering how I should proceed. And I am perfectly capable of flailing around in that sad state for such an extended period I have begun to suspect I like the merry-go-round of hunkering down and wallowing around in self-pity and self-aggrandizement.  Ooh, poor me! My problems are the greatest of anyone ever!

I confess, my inner diva runs deep and wide when I let it run amok. 

But when I ask God for help I begin to see a bit of light at the end of the tunnel and begin to believe it might not be the headlight of a giant train coming at me. I begin to look forward with hope and sometimes even a frisson of anticipation to what amazing grace God is spreading before me.

I had a Bible study leader several years ago that said he found one consistent characteristic of finding the way God lead in answer to prayers for guidance. If he prayed and waited hopefully, God sent solutions or direction to him that he found were just better than he had been thinking up on his own. He did not comment on the length of time that had taken in his experience, but I find it varies. Therefore, when I feel confused I not only pray and seek the help of the Spirit of God in waiting hopefully, I also am aware that as long as I am clinging to the vestiges of confusion then I am simply not ready to hear much less act on the better option.

Ever loving God, send Your Holy Spirit to pour discernment into my decision-making process that I might confidently embrace this truth: My highest good is Your Will in my life and I can discard all fear, anxiety and self-focus as I look forward with confidence to You guiding me where I am to go. Thank you, God, for dispersing confusion and sending enlightenment. AMEN 

I believe that fear drives out love. I also believe it drives out peace, wisdom, kindness and good sense. Living in fear is miserable for the person mired in fear. It is also painful for those who love them to watch. We long to comfort, counsel and help but the more we push what we believe to be the best choices, the more our loved one flees "being controlled." This is particularly bitter when we see them being overly influenced by people who so clearly don't have our beloved's best interest at heart.

So as we consider how to act in response to the too often dangerous, destructive and depressing choices of those we love, we have decisions to make. If we help with too much money, we can undermine our beloved's confidence in being able to take care of themselves. If we offer advice instead of a listening heart, we can foster a relationship where it is hard to hear each other, much less be attentive to God's gentle nudges. If we try to protect our beloved we can make mistakes that have long memories and unintended consequences.

So how do we proceed. I think this has been a central issue in my life since I first feared for my beloved's life, quality of life and future. Here are some things I have learned.

When I trust God, I am assured that God has my beloved's best interest at heart...and both knows perfectly what is needed and has the capacity and willingness to provide what is needed. When I get focused on what "I" can do or what "I" can make happen, I am filled with fear. When I pray, search the Bible, consult with mature Christian friends and mentors, sing favorite hymns, to open myself to God's leading, I am at peace. When I am demanding answers and clamoring for an immediate solution where I know there can be none, I find myself awash with an internal dialog that leaves little time for prayer or even a realistic assessment of the situation.

In other words, God reassures me, while the World plays into me images of every possible horrible outcome leaving me too frightened to take any positive action.

All-knowing and all-powerful God, thank You for knowing what I need and what my loved ones need with perfect understanding and that You are already providing what they need. Send the Spirit of God to reassure me. In the name of Jesus I claim Your protection against doubt, fear and worry. Thank you for loving me so deeply and powerfully. AMEN 

An old hymn says, Jesus, Lead Thou On. But I am certain I have lead the Lord on many a mercy chase as I casually made choices and acted in ways that seems sensible and reasonable to me, based on my limited teenage brain. Frankly I've done it plenty over the decades since I turned 20!

But as I've experienced my share of skinned knees, shame for mistakes that harmed others and myself, and broke my heart through my own pigheadedness, I've become a bit more cautious and less impetuous.  Working with young offenders has impressed upon me the problems of a failure to consider the consequences of an action married to lack of impulse control. I want to weep when I see someone who is determined to keep doing the same foolish thing while expecting a different outcome because I know the lessons will continue to become more painful as the mistakes become more destructive.

So, assuming I've managed to not react in anger or self-righteous indignation or panic, and I have given myself permission to take time to consider my choices, what am I sensing?

God promises to lead us if we ask, demonstrating trust by listening and waiting. When I'm headed down the wrong path I often feel pushed -- pushed by my own greediness or fear, or the opinions of family or friends who want to make the choices for me, or by a culture that tells us such sweet lies. However, God speaks softly and kindly when I seek God's wisdom and keeps tugging at me if I start to wander off. The World shouts at us and lies to us and says things that are ridiculous on the face of it. I remember a friend saying, "I was mad at God for a long time for things I did to myself. I wasted a lot of time I could have been talking to God and building a different way of life." Been there, sister.

While we can't outrun God's love of us and we can't outrun Christ's sacrifice for us and we can't outrun the willingness of the Spirit of God to inform and instruct us in wisdom and grow our faith, we can wreck a LOT of damage to ourselves trying to outrun God.  My recommendation: stop right where you are and turn your face to God. God is longing to lead you to places of peace and wisdom and hope. God stands ready to calm your anxiety, to direct your feet on a path that blossoms into a life of purpose and hope and healing, to demonstrate God's trustworthiness in all circumstances. 

 Abiding God, Shalom! Still my anxious heart that I might hear You speaking wisdom and comfort into my ear. AMEN