I believe that fear drives out love. I also believe it drives out peace, wisdom, kindness and good sense. Living in fear is miserable for the person mired in fear. It is also painful for those who love them to watch. We long to comfort, counsel and help but the more we push what we believe to be the best choices, the more our loved one flees "being controlled." This is particularly bitter when we see them being overly influenced by people who so clearly don't have our beloved's best interest at heart.
So as we consider how to act in response to the too often dangerous, destructive and depressing choices of those we love, we have decisions to make. If we help with too much money, we can undermine our beloved's confidence in being able to take care of themselves. If we offer advice instead of a listening heart, we can foster a relationship where it is hard to hear each other, much less be attentive to God's gentle nudges. If we try to protect our beloved we can make mistakes that have long memories and unintended consequences.
So how do we proceed. I think this has been a central issue in my life since I first feared for my beloved's life, quality of life and future. Here are some things I have learned.
When I trust God, I am assured that God has my beloved's best interest at heart...and both knows perfectly what is needed and has the capacity and willingness to provide what is needed. When I get focused on what "I" can do or what "I" can make happen, I am filled with fear. When I pray, search the Bible, consult with mature Christian friends and mentors, sing favorite hymns, to open myself to God's leading, I am at peace. When I am demanding answers and clamoring for an immediate solution where I know there can be none, I find myself awash with an internal dialog that leaves little time for prayer or even a realistic assessment of the situation.
In other words, God reassures me, while the World plays into me images of every possible horrible outcome leaving me too frightened to take any positive action.
All-knowing and all-powerful God, thank You for knowing what I need and what my loved ones need with perfect understanding and that You are already providing what they need. Send the Spirit of God to reassure me. In the name of Jesus I claim Your protection against doubt, fear and worry. Thank you for loving me so deeply and powerfully. AMEN
So as we consider how to act in response to the too often dangerous, destructive and depressing choices of those we love, we have decisions to make. If we help with too much money, we can undermine our beloved's confidence in being able to take care of themselves. If we offer advice instead of a listening heart, we can foster a relationship where it is hard to hear each other, much less be attentive to God's gentle nudges. If we try to protect our beloved we can make mistakes that have long memories and unintended consequences.
So how do we proceed. I think this has been a central issue in my life since I first feared for my beloved's life, quality of life and future. Here are some things I have learned.
When I trust God, I am assured that God has my beloved's best interest at heart...and both knows perfectly what is needed and has the capacity and willingness to provide what is needed. When I get focused on what "I" can do or what "I" can make happen, I am filled with fear. When I pray, search the Bible, consult with mature Christian friends and mentors, sing favorite hymns, to open myself to God's leading, I am at peace. When I am demanding answers and clamoring for an immediate solution where I know there can be none, I find myself awash with an internal dialog that leaves little time for prayer or even a realistic assessment of the situation.
In other words, God reassures me, while the World plays into me images of every possible horrible outcome leaving me too frightened to take any positive action.
All-knowing and all-powerful God, thank You for knowing what I need and what my loved ones need with perfect understanding and that You are already providing what they need. Send the Spirit of God to reassure me. In the name of Jesus I claim Your protection against doubt, fear and worry. Thank you for loving me so deeply and powerfully. AMEN
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