Today we have our first forming meeting for the fall KAIROS Outside weekend in Kansas City. The weekend starts in 112 days (or 16 weeks) and that is only the time until the weekend starts. After the 3 day retreat in October we are committed to staying in close contact with our guests for a minimum of 26 more weeks.  For those of us who are involved in leadership positions in this ministry it is a significant commitment of prayer, time, energy, kindness, tolerance, planning, recruiting, listening and loving of our guests, but also among ourselves.

For those of you who have been affected by the incarceration of a family member of birth or choice and would welcome an opportunity to connect (at no charge to you) with other women with a special understanding and heart for the challenges you know all too well, please click on the "contact button" above and I'll mail you a brochure.

If these words leave you longing to help, we need many angels to care tenderly for our guests and if you can spare a little time you too can click on the "contact button" and I'll mail you a "Angel Application". 

We covet your prayers, for we are already praying for the women God is sending to this special time of healing. We are happy if you want to send financial support. We hope you will share with friends or family members who might be interested in being our guest.

Won't you add us to your "to do" list so that you pray with us for the coming 115 days? Costs you not a dime, yet your prayers are priceless to us and the women we serve.

Although I believe well grounded in the teachings of scripture, there is a phrase I love that is not a strict translation of Scripture: "God danced and sang on the day you were born." This is not a picture that comes to mind often. So much has been written about angry gods and pictures painted of vengeance-filled gods and much of that spills over into folks' ideas of God, Jesus and the Spirit of God.

Yesterday, when I had the breathtaking blessing of holding in my arms my hours-old newest grandchild, I was filled with joy and gratitude, both for this delightful new member of our family, and for the loving family into which he has been born. I transported his three siblings to meet him, children who had anticipated this day along with their parents for months. The look on their faces were one of those forever memories that fill our hearts.

Please join me today as I thank my God who gave me this lovely reminder of how God loves us, rejoices over us, has plans for us, delights in us. We can't be perfect in this (especially when exploring babies create unexpected upsets in sleep deprived households) but we can aspire to it, work towards it, help others who are struggling to get the support they need to embrace this. Casseroles, or visits timed to let exhausted parents catch a nap, or simply words of encouragement, or the most gently worded comments that might inspire new ways of approaching challenges, and always reminders (and ensuing actions) that the family is being prayed for and loved and rejoiced over blesses the child, the household family, the extended family, the neighborhood, the community, the church...you get the idea.

So often yesterday after I had met this sweet little guy, I felt like singing and my heart was full of gratitude to the God who makes this seem small and fleeting when compared to God's eternal and perfect love of and rejoicing over me and over you.

Almighty God, we thank you for this newest member of the youngest generation in our extended family. We ask Your Spirit pour into their home and lives Your love and joy and hope all the days of their lives; giving them always ears to hear and eyes to see. We also remember those expectant parents who instead are dealing with a new normal as things did not go as they expected and ask Your tender care for them and their extended families. And we ask special care for children born to parents who are themselves so broken that they find it difficult to rejoice over anything. We ask Your special protection for these children and healing for their parents. You are so amazing, Lord of Love and Life. AMEN

The Lord your God is with you. The mighty One will save you. The Lord will be happy with you. You will rest in his love. He will sing and be joyful about you.”  Zephaniah 3:17

Yesterday I had jury duty. I also show up to vote, even if I don't mark a box, because when there is no good choice I want to make the statement that I am not complaisant, but rather appalled. And I want to be a good citizen when it comes to jury duty too. So I showed up early and, as it played out, stayed late. I was not chosen to serve, but I chose to be cheerful about being summoned to be considered, because some day I or someone I love may need a smart, fair-minded person to show up and serve.

But I admit it was a quandary.  You see, I think the system is so utterly and unnecessarily inefficient. They want a broad range of people to participate, but they don't make that easy or fair.

I chose to ride the Metro for the first time in years because traffic downtown is so convoluted and confusing even the buses are not running on schedule, and parking is both challenging (what happens if I don't get to the parking lot before it is barred for the night? what happens if I "run over" and incur crazy additional charges? all possibilities according to court staff) and expensive. It was just easier to ride and the bus and drivers were delightful as were my fellow commuters -- unless they were totally non-interactive, which is fine too.

Let me explain why I find the system discourages good people from serving in good faith.  A lactating mother is told "there is a place to pump" but no one mentions (either there or on the website Q&As) how to get the milk to the baby or assure us that there was a refrigerator to keep the milk safe from tampering and spoilage. I sometimes think we are angry with every woman who gives birth these days and there is certainly no respect for at-home moms of toddlers. And folks who must pay for childcare are just told to suck it up. I was gone for 13 hours from leaving my house and returning to my house. Driving might have shaved 90 minutes off that while ratcheting the costs up substantially. Matching childcare with not getting out of the courthouse until after 6:00 pm does not make for calm, attentive mothers, even if they aren't also worried about their budgets.

Elderly people with obvious health problems were kept for the full ten hours and left to hobble to their cars in dangerous heat. (Folks with onerous duties caring for aging, frail family members in their homes can have great difficulty in getting someone to sub for them for extended periods).

We either had to bring our lunch or walk some distance, again in dangerously high temperatures. At least it wasn't snow and Ice! Of course if we brought our lunch we were welcome to return to the "jury room" where we could eat off our laps and drink tiny glasses of tap water..

You see, in our state jurors are paid $6.00 per day (an amount set in the 1950s), plus 17 cents per mile (as based on mid-point of residential zip code) and $5.25 for parking whether they are there for 3 hours (as some were) or ten hours as our group was. I'm not suggesting that folks should be lured to jury duty with big dollars, but I don't think it fair to ask folks with limited income and/or childcare costs to actually lose money on the deal.

Because I chose to ride a bus (and get a discount because I am over 65), thereby avoiding parking and most gasoline costs (used park & ride) and took my lunch I am on the plus side after a very long day which I am grateful does not include being chosen and therefore committed to all of this week and maybe half of next week to repeat the exercise daily. But for someone who drive the same distance I came (I live in "mid-county") the cost of parking and gas would be more like $10.00 and if they failed to plan ahead they might spend $5.00 or more extra for lunch...unless they are adding childcare costs on top of that. Really CHEAP child care is $125.00 per week and it can run 4 times that for occasional infant care, so let's call it a minimum of $25.00 per day per child.

And, frankly, unless they want to set up well supervised childcare on site, the judiciary needs to quit emotionally bludgeoning young mothers (not the fathers very often, of course) who are trying to care for very small children and/or breastfeeding and frail folks whose physicians could easily testify that their medical condition and medication may well make jury duty embarrassing and/or inefficient and even dangerous for the person.

I get it. If a person has an employer that not only means life may be ordered around 8-5 work days with attendant childcare arrangements and transportation choices (and at good companies with salaries that continue while a person is serving), but it may well be a major challenge to serve for the self-employed person, folks whose workdays and lives are structured to working evening or nights, or who balance several part-time jobs or who travel for a living or any of a number of other challenges that regular citizens face when trying to be good citizens. And it is true that some folks seemed most anxious to assure the attorneys and judge that they have such poor maturity that they are certain they would blindly give preference to one side or the other no matter the law or the evidence offered -- or maybe they just did not want to serve for the 8-9 days we were told this trial could easily run. Do I sound bitter? Well, I would not want those folks judging life and death matters for me anyway, but how selfish.

For folks who can serve: please don't let a small inconvenience for you be more important to you than a severe burden to someone else. For every person who dodges, lies or finagles to get out, someone else must step up and it may be much more of a challenge for them, or they may not be as able to process challenging cases. Failing to be an informed and voting citizens is not good. Failing this is far, far worse and more dangerous to the most fragile in our community.
 
They told me in orientation that I would be better informed about the judicial system due to my service and indeed I am. I just sorry I’m so depressed about it.

Being a Dad is no easy task, no matter what the Hallmark Cards section looks like. Dads come in all flavors and with baggage of their own. Sometimes moms are helpful to fathering and sometimes not so much. Some dads die or are sick or are absent.
 
But today I suspect a lot of fathers feel a little (or a lot) embarrassed because they wonder if they are a good enough Dad. (At least this is how Mother's Day generally strikes me, so if I'm projecting, I apologize.)

But here is the good news for all parents who struggle and wonder and even fear that they have irrevocably broken a beloved child: God is bigger than all that. Not one of us has ever had a perfect parent and no one will in this broken World. (And, frankly, I don't know that I would want to be the child that has to live up to a perfect parent anyway.)

When we slip and mess up and even see ourselves as part of a catastrophic failure, our children still have The Father, Abba Father--you know, the Almighty Father, who provides all we fail to provide. (And God provides that FOR us too!)

So we can let God be our example and tend our children (of birth and choice) as God cares for us:
 
As God loves us, be loving toward your children. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8

As God forgives us, be forgiving toward your children.  The Lord our God is merciful and forgiving, even though we have rebelled against him. Daniel 9:9
 
As God encourages us, be encouraging toward your children. “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Matthew 6:25
 
As God instructs us, be instructive toward your children.  Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. Ephesians 6:4
 
Trust God to be God who loves your children better than you can yourself. And trust God to love you more than you feel you can love yourself. That’s it: trust God (and God even helps with this!) and do for those you love, as best you can, what God does for you: love, forgive, encourage and instruct.
 
This is an amazing example for your children no matter their age or yours.

If you have ever had great sorrow in your life I expect you have had someone say something that felt perfectly awful. You know, things like, "Only the good die young." or "How did this happen?" in a tone that implies I somehow should have been able to stop a drunk driver or cancer. or "You are young. You'll marry again...have another baby...be up and running on that prosthesis in no time."

Sometimes it makes us angry because we are already emotionally shredded and other time you just have to laugh at the amazing variety of foolish things people can say.

Then there are the people who are so scared of saying the wrong thing that they say nothing at all. If the sorrow is of the "illness" or "death" variety they may send a card or drop off a casserole or salad or cookies. If it is more like a still born child or at divorce or the incarceration of a loved one they may be completely freaked out and afraid of even being where the sorrowing person is.

That is why I love this verse; it is the best advice ever. Romans 12:15: "Be happy with those who are happy, and cry with those who are crying."

What a perfect idea! Let the person tell you how they are doing before saying much of anything at all. Maybe the parent who passed had been longing to see Jesus, or they may not be able to bear the thought of their passing. Maybe the divorce released someone from an abusive relationship, or maybe the oddest couple you ever met were madly in love even after decades of marriage. Maybe the person does not know what they are feeling and can barely breathe for the pain of the loss; or they may think they are broken because they aren't feeling much yet.

So here is the big secret: it is not necessary to say much at all. You don't need to try to "fix the situation" or give advice or take a side. You can just sit quietly with them, breathing gently and silently praying for the person and asking God if there are any words God wants you so say. You might say, "I don't know what you are feeling, even though I've had some sorrows myself. I realize that everyone's situation is different and unique to them. So if you need an ear I will listen, if not today at any time you call or email or text. If you can think of some small task or errand I can do for you I would be honored to do that.' Or you might just use the short version, "I love you."

It is pretty easy to be happy with those that are happy, especially if we love them and are truly happy for the event or situation that has brought joy. Although even then, when we listen carefully, we sometimes learn new things about our friend.

But this "cry with those who are crying," this is the greatest gift you can give. I remember the faces of people who showed me mercy on dark days. Some were strangers and some names I have forgotten. But the kindnesses abide with me still and my heart is forever grateful for each person who was kind when I had no expectation of kindness from them. I can only pass on this type of listening and loving when I am kindly given an opportunity. 

Abiding with, holding a hand, offering a gentle smile, looking into someone's eyes, speaking kindly all are gifts. I give them freely because God has provided mercy and grace for me.

I must admit I am frustrated when the media makes it sound like American’s are better or more important than other people. I see it when we demand that it is more important for our affluent country to have jobs than countries that struggle to put beans and rice on the table. I see politicians bragging about supporting a bill to address some irritant for middle-class suburbanites while ignoring the desperate needs of the poorest in our cities and rural communities. I see it when we barely cover the annihilation of whole communities when they are on another continent. I see it when drug usage and dealing has dramatic consequences for those living in some communities while those in other communities get ridiculous plea bargains where charges are reduced to misdemeanors.

I do not endorse the idea that some people are important and others are not important, based on where they live, the color of their skin, the amount of money they make earn, their profession, their education, the things they believe, their heritage, lineage or any other of the false measures humans use to determine a person’s worthiness to be mourned.
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One of the most frustrating things for me is the number of people who think only Jewish people were killed in the holocaust when they were only half of the people killed. Please understand this, the other half were NOT troops, prisoners of war, bombing victims or any other folks in situations that caused even more millions of deaths during the late 1930s through the mid-1940s.The other half were gypsies, people who were married to someone identified as being in some small part Jewish, people with mental illness including depression, people accused of being homosexual, anyone who had the audacity to express concerns about the ethics of the government during these horrifying days, and anyone who irritated someone with an “in” with the murders. Each concentration camp death and each family and village who were marched into the woods and shot to death, no matter the excuse, break my heart still. It was never about who these people were. It was always about the lawlessness of a government feeding on fear, government people who whipped the fear into permission to commit horrify acts against old people and children, pregnant women and young mothers, fragile people who often could not even endure alive the journey to the camps.

Then there were the quarter of a million (mostly elderly folks, and women and children) Chinese killed by Japanese soldiers early in WW2, and the thousands of Bosnians killed by the Serbs and vice versa and the native peoples killed by various political juntas in Central and South America in the 1980s and the Killing Fields of Cambodia and the millions killed in Russia in the poms and the dead immigrants fleeing sure death in Syria and other parts of the world, so many dying just trying to get to safety,  and the Drug cartels in Mexico and the human traffickers across the world…

It is so much easier to not read history, more comfortable to pretend that things are getting better. And, indeed, some things are getting better in some ways. But in essential ways we have been and continue to be unspeakably cruel to God’s other children, all of us created by a God that longs for us to remember that each and all of us are important, not just the ones that live in our country or our state or our city or our neighborhood.

Yes, it is painful to pay attention. It is heartbreaking to pray for all families experiencing the loss of loved ones from criminal enterprise and from careless driving and from illness. But that is one of the main points of prayer: God gives us the gift of prayer that we might be able to survive allowing our attention to stay on the important things, value all people, work for justice and education and healthy living support and safe housing and adequate food for ALL PEOPLE, not just the ones on our street. And what we pray for passionately, we grow in our ability to work for passionately.

Brothers and sisters, there is no “them”; indeed, we are only us.

Roman 12:5 In the same way, though there are many of us, we are one body in Christ, and individually we belong to each other.