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building a better self

3/31/2016

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When I was young I sat in church and was glad I knew about Jesus, but I certainly had no capacity to appreciate what all that was really about. In fact, I was like the privileged young man* who told Jesus he had obeyed all the commandments. And Jesus answer: “There is still one thing you haven’t done,” he told him. “Go and sell all your possessions and give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”

Now, I remember thinking that was pretty harsh, but as I have gotten older I think I understand this better. In the end, Jesus is telling us that NOTHING can be more important than GOD for us. I have such a heart for affluent people that are serious about this and give generously (and often anonymously) to support mission and ministry and help in so many ways. But even more amazing are folks with very tight budgets that still give with glad hearts to support work they feel is important.

C. S. Lewis wrote a small book called The Great Divorce and, rather than marital advice, it speaks about the chasm between fallen man and heaven. In the book folks get "on the bus to heaven" but many have a hard time getting off at the pearly gates because something does not suit them...the wrong person is meeting them, the wrong person actually got "into heaven." We have so many ways we justify not putting God above all else, making gods of our most beloved family members and our most closely held opinions.

What can I identify today that is causing me unnecessary pain because I am holding it more dearly than I am clinging to God? A grudge? Withheld forgiveness? A private sin? Selfishness? Greed? A familiar fear? A wrong needing to be apologized for?  An amends to be made?

​We have so many opportunities to replace what is causing pain with the healing, comfort, strength and rehabilitation that God stands ready at every moment to pour into our lives. Every day, every relationship, every learning moment, every serving moment are filled with potential to build a better self, a better life, a more purpose-filled and satisfying life.
*Mark 10:17-31
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baby steps start delightful journeys

3/30/2016

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There are personal disciplines that some folks cultivate for a lifetime and others practice at various times. All have value and none are magic in the sense that it makes us perfect (which we can't be) or better than others. To the extent that we humbly practice them to draw closer to God, they bring blessings. Here are a few:

Fasting - There is a difference between fasting and abstinence. Abstinence is not eating solid food and is not appropriate extended times for folks whose health is compromised. But fasting is abstaining from such things as meat/dairy (vegan), meat (vegetarian), sweets, alcohol, coffee or other things that will invoke a physical reason to consider our faith each time we long for the thing we have "given up." It can be a change in life-style or embraced for a season (such as lent) or on a given day each week. It has physical benefits (especially when eschewing something that is not good for us anyway such as excess sweets or cigarettes) but it can also take advantage of our physical cravings as a nudge to remember Christ's amazing willingness to enter a limited and dangerous world so that our salvation might be accomplished. (PS - if you use fasting as an excuse to be cranky, you are pretty much missing the point.)

A Place of Quiet - We live in a world where most of us can't see the most stars because the ambient light at night obscures that twinkling delight. We are surprised and delighted when we can actually hear the birds chirping. Our schedules are overwhelming and we expect to meet our selves coming and going. So finding a place where we can turn off electronics, see or envision a place where quiet and personal space can be enjoyed, can certainly lead to a sense of gratitude and thoughtfulness, a place of uninterrupted prayer or study or simply intentional breathing.

Meditation - We can take the quiet place idea and be more intentional about opening our mind and body to rest fully in God's grace and mercy, experiencing an intentional trusting, letting go our natural need to control. There are Christ-centric meditation instructors that share their perspective on YouTube, in classes and books, but whether you seek a guide or a class or reading, ask God to lead and bless. God is trustworthy at all times and in all places and seeking to draw closer is always a blessed activity.

​Journals - For those of us who enjoy writing, journaling can help us in several ways:

(1) An accountability tool - When I record something to pray about or an idea that was interesting during daily devotions each day it becomes difficult to convince myself that I am dong "daily devotions" if the records shows few days or even skipped months. God does not "punish us" if we don't meet some arbitrary goal in growing spiritually, but it is never good if we are telling ourselves lies about what is going on. It is all too easy to do so!

(2) I can use the journal as a record of new ideas and if they prove helpful. For instance, did I try working at the food pantry remodel and find I was longing for more direct contact with the program's clients? Did I promise to pray for someone? Did our current book or Bible study suggest another area of study after I complete the current plan? Do I have a stack of books that have been interesting that got laid aside with the intent to finish them later? Is there an act of kindness tickling the back of my head that I keep forgetting to put into action?

 (3) It can be helpful to note times of frustration because we can sometimes look back and see a pattern of activities or choices that consistently lead to dissatisfaction or we can identify practices that lift us during those times.

One thing I would mention: I find it tempting to use the journal to list what I have prayed for and when God has done what I said. Not only does this lend itself to developing a "vending machine" idea of prayer, but it can also lead to a sense of unhappiness when we feel "our prayers have not been answered." As time goes on I find that I am grateful when God answers  "no" and "not now" as I become ever more aware that God just has better ideas of what is needed than I can ever come up with. This leads to prayers where I am honest about my fears and longings, but am humble about suggesting how all that should play out. Because this can take months or years to develop, I am better about taking the longer view.

Some folks have found Christian music leaves them in a generally more hopeful mood than some other sorts. Some folks found they prefer to avoid negative moves or television shows. Some folks commit a vacation to exploring faith building retreats or going on mission trips both in the USA and abroad. There are as many ways to approach growing our faith, deepening our relationships, and exploring new service opportunities as there as people, because our gifts, interests and abilities blend in infinite ways.

The slowest start, or restart, can lead to some pretty amazing experiences. Step out in faith today!
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persevering

3/29/2016

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I'm excited. With April will come new Bible and Sunday study classes and a new sermon series. Each represents an opportunity to consider new ideas about how my relationship with God might be understood in new and deeper ways, and what might be coming my way as new opportunities to serve as God's hands and feet.

But I am so very aware of how many times I have experienced these opportunities, thought "that might be worthwhile to consider" and then drifted off to the same wandering that seems easier than doing something serious or embracing new ideas and opportunities.

So, I would counsel this: persevere.  

You may start a new Bible class and find it less interesting than expected. You might be able to give more energy to the preparation or be daring in asking questions and offering ideas. OR You may have the option of another class that you did not initially find as appealing, but is a blessing when you try it.

Whatever things you try, give it some time. There are a hundred thousand ways to open the conversation with God about stepping up. For a month or six-months or a year give it as least as much effort as you give shopping for the perfect (whatever), improving your fly-fishing skills, reading yet another novel, taking another class or binge-watch a new TV series. None of those things are bad, but a small change, making room for something "more" than you have today can pay dividends that are pretty breathtaking.

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not shooting myself in the foot

3/28/2016

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"Why did this happen to me?" Have you ever had someone say that to you and had the knee-jerk reaction to reply, "Because you keep making such foolish choices?" or "Because you keep doing the same thing and expecting things to be magically different?" or "Because you haven't learned to take a moment to think before you act or speak?"

I have had honest, caring people say these to me in my life at times I needed to hear it (note I did not say I wanted to hear it). The more valid the point, the more painful it was to hear.

One thing that has been a blessing was when I realized I was often my own worst enemy,
  • choosing friends because I wanted to be liked rather than because they would lift me up and were willing to let me lift them up too,
  • walking so close to the edge of danger that it was Grace alone that kept me balanced while sanity returned,
  • doing what I darn well wanted to even though I identified it as foolish and unlikely to have a good outcome.

That is what I think about when I read: 
Strengthen your drooping hands and weak knees! Make straight paths for your feet so that if any part is lame, it will be healed rather than injured more seriously.* Therefore:
  • I choose to seek the counsel of someone who will challenge me to do the better thing rather than seeking someone who will feed my ego and my sense of personal victimhood.
  • I choose to cultivate as my friends and colleagues people with a reputation for ethics and kindness.
  • I choose to find something worthwhile and constructive to do when I'm bored before I indulge in things that have lead to problems for me in the past.
  • I will take the path that is less likely to result in shooting myself in my own foot.

* Hebrews 12:12-13 (CEB)
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easter sunday, march 27, 2016

3/27/2016

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Christ is risen! He is risen indeed!

​This is the most amazing news: Christ's death covers all our errors, sins and limitations; and Christ's resurrection demonstrates God's acceptance of that final stunning sacrifice.

In my earthly state I am limited in my understanding of what that fully means. In my earthly state I am limited in how to get out of my own way in accepting fully what this means.

But this much is clear; I am valuable, I am worth God's attention. I am not alone on this journey of love and learning and hope. This gift is free for each and all of us.

May the promise of Easter wrap you in love and hope and a growing appreciation of God's Abundant Grace and Limitless Mercy in your life.
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farewell

3/26/2016

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Today we lay to rest a beloved family member who died most unexpectedly. We will miss him sorely; many of us will miss him sorely because he touched so many lives with his kindness, humor and honor. His wife and children move from numb to devastated to putting one step-in-front of the other to do the necessary things.

I think of a verse dear from my own past, "And Enoch walked with God; and he was not, for God took him." (Genesis 5:24) That is exactly what this feels like: "But he was just here!"

So he is free to love and live and praise in new ways, as his nearest and dearest here grieve and have to figure out how to adjust to a new everything. I read that Enoch's son was Methuselah, the oldest person noted in the Bible, and today I'm glad our earthbound missing will not last 600 years, but then neither did we have 300+ years to enjoy this delightful man.

A special lady penned this prayer for his family:

Thank You for the life of this dearly departed loved one.
May the comforting and consoling presence of your sweet Holy Spirit cover his wife and family. 
Please hold them ever so closely and lovingly that they feel your presence unmistakably.
May Your Love be manifested and Your purposes and plans revealed.
May they rest in Your peace. May Your wisdom guide them into all truth and Your strong, mighty right arm carry them thru this valley.
When there are more questions than answers, help them understand that Your sovereign grace is sufficient in all things.
May they be reminded that the enemy of our soul is defeated and the God of our hope is exalted.
In Jesus' name. 
Amen!

We appreciate your prayers and thank God for never abandoning us as we travel the valley of the shadow of death.
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moving forward or falling back

3/25/2016

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I often hear folks bemoan "God letting bad things happen." And I understand how that happens, but if we think logically we must understand that there is only one alternative to "God letting bad things happen" and that would be that we would all be programmed from outside somewhere to be what someone else wants us to be.

What I mean is this: even when we are trying to do "the right thing" we often understand later that it was not the right thing because we had neither complete understanding nor perfect wisdom. So living is learning and growing, or it is selfish, fear-filled and shrinking. If we force others to behave as we understand to be "right," lost is the opportunity to grow and learn and increase in all good things.

This means that not all folks choose to be on the "increase" side of the experience. Some folks decide, either for a while or for all their life's journey, to embrace resentment, anger, jealousy, fear, control and rage in ever growing circles. God always offers us the choice, each moment, no matter what mistakes and choices we have made in the past to start anew, not by magically erasing the consequences of choices, but by offering God's love and acceptance and restoration. It is unfortunate that human beings, who themselves are prone to cling to wrongs and withhold forgiveness, believe that God is like that; God is not. God loves as a good parent loves, allowing a child to experience the consequences of their actions so they can learn; never abandoning or seeking redress for some "wrong" (that has harmed us as God's child, but which has no power to harm God). God is not fear; by God's nature God is not fear or vengeance or retribution. Because God is all powerful, God has no need to fear. Because God is love, love is what God offers to all who seek. Because God is truth, God tells no lies.

When bad things happen it is because someone has behaved out of fear or selfishness, demanding something they believe they have a right to destroy others to get. That is not God's hope for us; that is not God's plan for us. But God does not coerce, control, demand or manipulate; God only loves, offers, welcomes, heals, comforts, tends, teaches, cares for and about us and is faithful to us in all things.

Make choices that make room for the good things in life.
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a private act of love

3/24/2016

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Sometimes our focus on corporate, public worship overshadows the blessing of intentional personal worship. Sometimes something grips us so suddenly and completely that we instinctively say, Oh, God, You are amazing! The sunrise over the mountains or eventide at the beach or a stunningly beautiful voice singing words that touch us, or a million other blessings can leave us trying to remember to breathe for the joy of it, even in the midst of pain.

Even in the hustle and chaos of life so many small miracles slip past our notice. These too deserve a moment of appreciation and gratitude. We face a moment of anxiety and must choose to feed it, or chose instead to starve it by speaking truth to it: God is bigger than this moment and is both utterly delighted to tend us and wholly able to walk closely with us.

We run across an ancient affirmation like: "Glory to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit. As it was in the beginning, is now and always shall be, for ever and ever. AMEN." And we think of it throughout the day or add it to our daily meditation or prayers.

We attend church where there is a passionate speaker of truth who preaches rightly or where thought-provoking Bible verses are offered in worship so we exercise the discipline to make a note of something we want to consider throughout the week posting it on our desk or bathroom mirror to help us follow through on the pondering.

All these are moment of personal worship if that is how we choose to experience it. Worship is praise, thanksgiving, opening our hearts to God's guidance, speaking our deepest heart's longing to God, seeking the next opportunity to learn about God's utter trustworthiness and respond in kind.

Where will you worship today?
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when we question, it can be the beginning of a conversation

3/23/2016

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One of the ways we grow in faith is because we have had a jolt, a trauma, life changed on a dime and we realize we just don't have the capacity to survive, much less prepare to journey on without the assurance that, "this is not all there is."

I friend from high school talked to me once of the pain when both of his sons died before hardly getting started in the world, one drowned on a family vacataion and one was a victim of crime. He spoke of getting up, going to work, coming home and going out into the back yard to lay down, look at the sky and try to remember to breath. This all happened not too long after his older brother had died of sudden cardiac arrest in his 30s. I remember I could barely breath just listening to him share his experience.

And when bad things happened in my life I mentally went out and laid in the grass and tried to remember how to breath. And I also remembered that my friend found a way back to living. He will never stop missing his sons, but he found there was more..

So if you are going through a particularly difficult time today it might be the perfect time to consider the "more" and just considering is the best starting place I know. It truly is not necessary to go it alone when God loves you so very much and longs to comfort you.
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now is such a great time to give it a try

3/22/2016

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Corporate worship is often one of the first things that gets dismissed when people don't feed their spiritual journey. I would be the last person to say it is impossible to worship God on that nature trail or golf course or while working out. But jettisoning the blessings of corporate worship does damage only evident over time.

Corporate worship brings us into contact with folks who are interested in matters of faith and growing spiritually. You may find folks on the golf course on Sunday morning who are deeply spiritual and filled with a desire to discuss deep topics, but I've not heard so many stories about that. You see, when we are at church we are statistically more likely to fall into a discussion that leads to other activities like working on the landscape committee where folks are likely to discuss a mission trip experience or a book that they are reading that has them thinking about a matter of faith. They may also talk about work they are doing at a local ministry like a thrift store or food pantry. Nothing wrong with golfing buddies, just not so likely to discuss deep topics between drives. And when I'm fighting the temptation to cut corners ethically, sketchy folks are at least unlike to advocate for all-out self-will run riot in the parking lot after services.

Corporate worship brings us into contact with folks who are seeking a faith experience, who are longing to hear other people's stories, who may need prayer and not know how to access that, who are facing a health challenge and wonder if it is fair to ask God for help when they have been estranged for a long time. (The answer to that is this: it is better than OK; it is awesome!) So you may have an opportunity to be a help to someone you would not meet in the course of your regular life.

Corporate worship soothes the soul, stirs the conscience, invites in ideas, and opens avenues of fellowship, friendship and service in ways I have never found anywhere else. Maybe you hesitate to participate in worship because you think it is only for "like minded people" but actually church services are filled with people with many ideas, many approaches and at different places on their journey. If a church is not welcoming, find a different church. Once you find a welcoming church filled with people to act in ways consistent with their declared faith then stick around and watch and learn, join in, participate, contribute. 

You can get to Hoboken on foot, but taking a plane, train or bicycle will all improve the journey. So you can find God as a social if not literal hermit, but why do that? God says, "Love me; love my people" and to do that in any meaningful way requires that you have contact with the people. And God tells us to do things, not for God's entertainment, but for our own highest good.

Next Sunday is Easter and there will be a crowd at most churches. You can walk in, have a seat, talk to folks, listen to the sermon, listen to the conversations around you, look over the ministry opportunities all without feeling like a deer in the headlights. If you were raised in a church, you may even find a stray happy memory. If it is all new to you, it may feel a little like you dropped into the mad-hatter's tea party, but either way it will not be dull and it may be the beginning of something amazing.

Hope to see you there!
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creating something new

3/21/2016

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I believe that anytime we are being creative we are experiencing something of God. This may be painting or baking, writing a poem, composing a song, doing crafts to decorate our home, thinking up a creative way to help a neighbor without embarrassing them or creating a plan to surprise someone who has been a special blessing to us or someone we love. Churches have benefited from the artistic gifts of architects, craftsmen, musicians, writers, sculptors, organizers, prayers, cooks, painters, carpenters, plumbers, electricians, computer whizzes, tenders of broken and frail souls and gentle challengers of the self-satisfied. Every creative idea that is "more" than has been understood before, or tried before, or considered before, represents a blessing from the God who longs for us to embrace all good things.

So as you consider your life this week, think about how you can step up personally, be a cheerleader for someone else who is working to step up, and, as you embrace that understanding you don't have to do it alone. Welcome God's love, light, hope, joy, promise and essence into your efforts, because otherwise the mundane, the mediocre, the insincere, the self-focused nature of our culture will lead you to despair and hopelessness.

If you work among the homeless and see the depth and breadth of the need, the fact that there is no humane way to compel folk to make better decisions is crushing and, having heard some of their stories you may even begin to consider that their approach is not so outlandish as it seemed from our clean, dry, well-provisioned homes. It becomes too easy to burn out and give up. But if you come with an awareness that we are only planting seeds of care, attention, hope, and the idea that the fragile person before us is wholly loved and accepted and approved of by a God who sees what we cannot, then comes the capacity to endure while walking with them in their sorrow and comes the capacity to give up our own ideas in favor of God's perspective on "success" in these whited fields.

​What new thing will you create this week?
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reading for learning, reading for blessing

3/20/2016

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I am a great believer in the blessings of reading and studying the Bible. But as with all the blessings God has sent our way, we humans can warp it and use it for evil. But we can also trust God to bless us with the Bible. So how do we avoid the bad and embrace the good?

First of all, I think it is a very good idea to ask the blessing of the Spirit of God that we have open hearts and the gift of discernment as we either search Scriptures for guidance or embrace the discipline of regular Bible reading. I've been a little afraid of the Bible because there are so many examples of people who presented themselves as followers of Christ who are then chastised for being liars. But a very wise man reminded me: God is bigger than evil. God loves me and wants me to welcome God's words and teaching into my life. And it is not God that wants to frighten us away from the blessings found in searching the Bible. So, yes, I believe praying and Bible study go hand in hand. That helps us balance the words in the Bible with our understanding of where God is leading us, what God is teaching us.

But it is also important to ask God for a humble heart, that we might avoid the temptation to believe our understanding is perfect while all who differ with us are in danger of falling away at any moment. I have learned to be less worried about whether other people have it "right" and be more focused on what else I can learn. I also have come to believe that no human being can ever get it "right" because we are not God; I can not expect to understand perfectly what the Creator of the Universe thinks and that it is really very arrogant to believe I can. I am at least a little hopeful that when we get to heaven we will learn a new language that can get us closer to a deeper appreciation and maybe even understanding, but I really don't expect to ever get it "perfectly right." And that keeps me on my knees and thinking and studying and watching to find people who LIVE their faith to learn from, rather than becoming too impressed with my own brilliance and superior knowledge. 

There are many translations, but they are, after all, ALL translations because we don't speak God. Yet God reaches out to help us continue understanding more when we open ourselves to that. Daily devotion that includes scripture and various formats for regular Bible reading all can be a blessing, but that is less likely to happen if the reading is considered a "chore" or is used to impress others. Ask God to give you a heart for a nearer relationship and give reading the Bible a chance to pour blessings into your life.

Again, plan on including a new or more committed plan for reading the Bible over a course of time because a few days is going to less be effective than a more long-term approach. I often find I have fallen out of step and have to recommit myself, but that is usually true whenever I try to change something for the better in my life. (I often make a note of the date when I finish a day's reading or devotion so I can not kid myself about how regularly I am executing the new discipline. And please don't use this to assault your own value to God; instead, praise God for every good thing you welcome into your life at the end of each day.)

You will be amazed at the things you will read....God singing to us, angels singing to God, seriously broken people doing amazing things by God's power and grace, BIG mistakes being forgiven and horrid challenges leading to a better place through God's mercy. There are miracles and mysteries and shipwrecks and healing and tears of both contrition and joy. There are things that seem in conflict and then, one time you are studying, and you realize it really isn't in conflict after all. You memorize a verse, then it pops into your head at just the right time to show you an additional application. You think you know a verse so well and then when you are studying something else, you realize you need to tweak your earlier assumptions about that most familiar verse.

You will be amazed! And more importantly, you will be blessed an delighted!
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praying in ways that help us grow

3/19/2016

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My ideas about prayer have changed a great deal over the years. Like many children I was taught to ask God for good things for others, to ask for help acting in right ways. Oh, how I wish I had been taught to pray for my parents! And I wish I had taught my children to pray for me.

But you may see a trend here. I was doing a lot of me, my, mine praying. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with discussing our heart's deepest desires with the God who created us, our Father God.

But it leaves so much out. If we consider the "Lord's Prayer" as a model (offered by Christ to instruct us), that gem has one line "Gives us this day our daily bread" that covers all our needs, wants, human desires a way that does not ask God to give us (or those we love) something 'better" that other people. Plus it is just one line!

The rest of the prayer addresses our acknowledging God as our God, ruler of all; it acknowledges God's sovereign power not only "some day, in heaven" but God's authority in the here and now. We ask God to both be forgiven and asks we receive grace that we might give forgiveness and in doing so acknowledges the need to consider these matters as co-equal needs in our lives. We ask God to give us the wisdom and strength to avoid walking foolishly into danger, but to be our ever present help when we slip up. I'm pretty sure I don't get that mix every time I pray, but I'm more aware of the need to consider more than just what I want, when I want it.

There are many Bible verses about prayers or that are prayers and I've not found a single Bible verse that can not inform our prayers as we ask for blessings and thank God for the deliverance recorded and praise God for the covenants kept and acknowledge God's power and goodness.

There are many books about prayers, including from Martin Luther explaining prayer to his barber to C S Lewis writing to his friend Malcom on the topic. I just don't see any way I will ever understand very well such an essential blessing of God. But it is such a blessing to keep learning!

And this may be the most important thing I have learned this far...prayer does not persuade God to send blessings my way because that is God's joy and nature. Rather prayer helps me stretch and grow and reconsider and surrender fear and resentment, and generally gets me out of my own way so I might be more like God created me to be.

What new praying gift can you give God today and for the next, oh, say 30 days?
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loving god: event or journey?

3/18/2016

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Growing in Grace is a term that needs more use and explanation in most churches in my experience. It is exactly opposite of the expectation we can say a particular prayer and walk away with permanent permission to declare ourselves Christians. Because, just like you can't say "I love you" to your parents or spouse or children or grandchildren, never spending time with them, never talking with them, never sharing information and ideas between you yet expecting to be considered an important person in their lives, so our relationship with God does not benefit from a "leave on the shelf where I can get to it later." result in best results.

So God expects us to explore and consider ways to "grow in grace" or become more involved and committed in the relationship. It seems to me that this happens in two general ways: growing by interacting with God through prayer, study, personal experience, thought/meditation, fasting, attention/journaling and worship both personal and corporate where we turn our face to God and through seeking to use our minds, bodies and traditional learning such as Bible Classes, books about faith matters and other church-centric and personal disciplines. The other is less focused on our relationship with God and more about serving God in our relationships with others in working with the disenfranchised, tending God's children in church and community, giving of time, money and volunteer hours and other more "hands-on" activities.  

I'll talk more about each of these over the coming days and there is overlap among ministry and mission and fellowship, 

But today I want to make this point: Both are valid and neither is as effective as both. A gentle immigrant whose smile is more eloquent that their language skills can absolutely teach us how draw near to God in amazing ways. (I suggest reading Brother Lawrence's Practicing the Presence of God.) And truly a person who spends their professional life studying what we can learn from archaeological digs along the Jordan River and blesses us without ever meeting us. But for most of us, opening both our heads and our hearts, using our brains to learn and our hands to serve, makes it all even better. And stirring in friendship, fellowship and mentoring is truly amazing.

So over the coming days please remember again, to open your head and your heart, explore things that appeal to you, but don't neglect things that today seem unappealing. And persevere because one day of journaling or rote repetition of a single prayer can never be as effective as practicing a discipline for a month or committing to fill a volunteer need for a season, or better yet, journaling about a new volunteer experience!

I hope folks will step up and share their experiences, what worked, what didn't, what they long for, concerns, joys.....
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someone made me mad at church

3/17/2016

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Churches today have lots of the same problems of the church leaders in Jesus' day whose own sense of ego and power led them to self-justify killing the very Son of God. The best churches can facilitate blessings through wise council offering blessings without numbers and Bible study groups can serve as excellent small support groups who seek truth and support one another with prayer and potted plants, and organizations support missions and service in great ways, and I do not like to miss the blessings of worship with a church family. 

I've been active a church in one way or another nearly all my life (I must confess to lapsing away from best practices on this at times) and I have been both blown away by the blessings I have found in churches and totally embarrassed that we miss the mark so much. Some churches I would just not recommend a new Christian to even while I stay to pray for and toil in a church that is badly broken.

But here is the deal: no matter how awful an experience (or even experiences) might have been, being so mad that we judge harshly all thing spiritual based on an error by someone is like being mad about of life's challenges. Would you forgo the blessings of a truly fine surgeon because his office staff is in need of better skills? Would you choose a poorly rated school over one that offers the best there is in your chosen field because someone was rude during a campus visit? Would you decline a promotion because it meant you would have a co-worker in that area with a weird sense of proportion?

And so, my friend, it is with churches. Don't miss the blessing because you are hung up on someone else's error, limit or quirk. Instead, be grateful they admit error prone, limited and quickly people like you and I! Yup, even we are are welcome to travel together on this journey to which God has called us.
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can we just chat a bit?

3/16/2016

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I have been so frustrated with the churches I have attended over the years. They like to talk about "being saved" as though it were an event and I found that caused me many problems. It led to a certain self-righteousness because I have been a serious and committed follower of Christ since a very young age, well school in Bible and church teaching and encouraged to do good-works consistent with my calendar age. It took serious errors of judgement to help me see that I was no better than anyone else. Then it took the abiding Mercy of God to show me I wasn't worse than anyone else -- another pitfall on the path to a deepening relationship with God. In fact the church really kind of got in the way because they failed too often to instruct me on how to grow into and in faith. It seemed very much a "you get it or you don't" proposition for a very long time.

But some humble and wise pastors and church friends and authors and strangers and fellow travelers have shared their faith, hope and experience with along the way with such generosity and kindness. Sometimes their words stung, but they were no less important because in understanding the "sting" I felt, I was able to consider new ways of acting or viewing things. Of course, sometimes there was considerable nonsense that had to be cut away, but that did not make the true part(s) any less important.

In the coming days I will share some practical ways to "meet" God and some practical ways to "meet God in new ways" so wherever you are on the journey of life, I hope you will remember this most important rule: discard what you find distracting or discouraging without failing to find the seed worth planting. I get plenty of things wrong or incomplete and am not done with my journey so remember that as you read this first comment: 

I have had my heart broken sitting with a sorrowing, worried or despairing person and have them expend energy and time listing all the reasons they won't consider a spiritual journey. The most common one is that had a "bad experience" with someone in church or a family member who attends church or were offended by something they believe church people "all believe". To you I say, I am deeply and perpetually grieved when people experience unhappy encounters with people who identify themselves as Christians. I'm even more deeply and perpetually grieved and embarrassed when I am that person. If it was me, I offer my sincere and abject apology.

But it is important to consider this: Not all people self-identifying as Christians or attending a church or even running a church are actually very far developed in wisdom, humility and the sharing of love, hope, redemption, wisdom or any of the other things we would like "churchy people" to be. In fact, many of us are in varying degrees convicted of our own limitations and to that degree, seeking God's continued input in our lives. I don't know of any "certificate" or "credential" I can recommend to be certain that anyone self-identifying as Christian is even actually aware of what following Christ might entail. They might have gotten involved because they like being identified as "good" or to please family members or as a good business networking opportunity.

And we don't throw people out because we suspect that might be the case: we pray for them; we love them, we invite them to become more thoughtful and intentional about their relationship with God. It is not unusual for someone to "come to faith" after years of squirming in the pew because there seem to be some people who are involved on a level they "just don't get" for a while.

So I offer this challenge: can you name any organization, group, employer, union, not-for-profit, neighborhood action group, Scout troop, coffee klatch, knitting group, Red Hat group, retired guys lunches, civic improvement committee, political group, college/university or just any kind of group where the more you got to know the folks the more you don't realized their sorrows, shortfalls and basic humanity? Because churches have those same folks in their pews and they, largely, are there because they want something more​, not because they "have it all together."


And honestly, I have to be so grateful for the brokenness of folks who self-identify as followers of Christ, but who admit they are still learning and growing and they put their arms around me and say, "Join us as we learn and serve and grow as God teaches and tends and uses us as God sees fit to the best of our understanding of what that means." We are far from perfect. We may say or do something that jars. But we will not demand you "have it all together" because God has not demanded that of us.

Will you give us a chance to share our experience with you?
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how deeply love you are

3/16/2016

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I've always loved the Bible verse that says: "Come to me, all you who are heavy laden and I will give you rest." What a warm and hope-filled image this brings to my heart in times of worry, sorrow, illness and distress!

But a verse or so further along it says, "My yoke is easy to bear and my burden is light." And this has been puzzling for me as I see the struggles of new Christians against old patterns and habits, the horrors of Christian Martyrs suffering around the world and the financial, family and health challenges of kind Christians in my own community.

​Eventually I had to do some praying and reading and listening, but this verse has come to be as dear to me as the first. The verse between held the key for me: "Put on my yoke and learn from me. I am Gentle and Humble."

I understand from this that Christ does not expect us to jump through hoops and arrive at the "believer" door on our own, because however could we do that? Instead, Christ says to us with such tenderness, "I am here beside you, longing for a conversation where I can begin to teach you new ways of living that are ever so much less painful than trying to rely on your own capacities. You do not need to "believe" to start the conversation. You do not have to "find" forgiveness, or hope or "be a better person"  because it is already yours with no greater requirement than to seek Me." 

That's it ... start a conversation directly with God or with someone you identify as living as a follower of Christ (neither a 'perfect person' nor even necessarily a 'church member', but rather someone whose love and kindness reflects an unusual way of living for which they take no personal credit) or listen to Christian music in the car to consider if their art speaks to you, or volunteer to work with folks who have substantially fewer options than you do, or read the Bible or even a book on reading the Bible, or just find a quiet place and say, "Hey, God, if you are there and you care about me, I'd like to learn about that": ... then be at rest for a bit. 

God does not expect us to be wise and loving and kind and generous and healed in ways beyond our own capacity without God's own support, love, instruction, generosity and ability, pouring every good thing that we were created to be and enjoy and do into our lives to the extent we welcome it. 

Wise and honest people disagree on a multitude of things written in the Bible, in interpreting with a more or less legalistic or more or less "this is how I understand it as the only way" ideas. But God does not require us to seek the approval of anyone or set traps for us. God comes, "Come to me." God did not say, "Go to the temple," or "Go the the priest." or "Complete the 12 Labors of pre-acceptance training." God says, "Come to me." 

Oh, how God loves you, right now, today, whatever your mistakes, whatever your sorrows, whatever your hopelessness, whatever your burdens. Won't you take a moment to listen....

Matthew 11: 28-30 “Come to me, all you who are struggling hard and carrying heavy loads, and I will give you rest.
 Put on my yoke, and learn from me. I’m gentle and humble. And you will find rest for yourselves. My yoke is easy to bear, and my burden is light.”
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you shall fear disaster no more

3/14/2016

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My mom believed that fear was rarely enough to make us turn to God.

Rather it was the exhaustion that resulted from trying to exert control over the uncontrollable, fix the unfixable, the time when we realize with stark clarity that we are not in control and cannot "make things right", 'fix things" or even really affect in a positive way our sorrows and those of our beloved ones. Exhaustion drives surrender. It occurs the moment before despair when we finally get the faith thing clear: we can not make all things good, but our God can, is willing to and delivers when and to the extent we get out of God's way.

So, we queens of fixing all things, protectoresses of our children, divas of trying harder and harder and harder, are delivered from the fear that drives that. We still get to love our children passionately, just not more than we love God. We are still free to enjoy the company of our families, we just have to deflate our egos that naturally want credit for the good things happening for our beloveds. We still get to bear our children up to the Almighty God, Ruler of All, King of Kings and Lord of Lords with thanksgiving and joy and trust; we just don't get to tell God "how" to do it, "when" to do, or how we are to be involved (or not involved).

God says this: "O daughter ... the king of Israel, the Lord is in your midst; you shall fear disaster no more"

​
Zachariah 3:14 Sing aloud, O daughter Zion; shout, O Israel! Rejoice and exult with all your heart, O daughter Jerusalem! The LORD has taken away the judgments against you, he has turned away your enemies. The king of Israel, the LORD, is in your midst; you shall fear disaster no more.
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even this i give thee, lord

3/13/2016

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Many things change our relationship with God. When I was young, full of memorized scripture and religious studies, I felt confident that I had all the answers. As I look back this convinces me that God is patience, has a sense of humor and knew I was made for something better because otherwise I would have been lost right there.

And I wish I could tell you that my deepest moments of spiritual growth had happened because of the sweet face of a newborn and a lovely sunrise and deep striving to learn more. While those have indeed been times of blessing, my greatest blessings have come when I was knee deep in alligators, past terrified to exhausted and oh, so painfully aware of not having even the questions, much less the answers.

One of the most challenging times was when my beloved step-son became one of THOSE statistics: a Christmas season suicide.  He had struggled for many years, had prior attempts and his mom had found the best help possible, but something drove him to deeper and deeper sadness and, finally, abject despair. His death touched so many people in so many ways. His brother, half-brother and step-siblings were not only personally devastated, but forced to live with his Dad and I when we were struggling ourselves. His mom and step-dad, friends, cousins, grandparents, step-grandparents, co-workers, roommates, neighbors, all of us were overwhelmed with the inevitable questions: what could I have done differently? How could we have prevented this? 

I never found an answer to that and finally decided two things: (1) I would spend no more time seeking an answer that I began to suspect did not exist and (2) I would also spend no more time trying to determine the status of someone else's salvation. This second is pretty radical and has been known to make ministers cringe. But here is what I believe: God is in charge of all things; God is love; God is truth; God is light. And, here is the big thing, I can trust God to get it right. 

I hope to see him again in heaven, healed from his abiding sorrow and pain and hopelessness. I don't even demand to understand answers to natural human questions  But I am willing to leave all this in God's hands, even this that is so very difficult to surrender.

And I am grateful to have had this young man in my life. Every day our relationship informs my ministry to families of the incarcerated in ways nothing else could.
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seasons of the heart

3/12/2016

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Spring is my favorite time of year. When I moved away from the Midwest we had only pots of crocus and tulips and hyacinths; redbud trees were rare and Dogwoods tress from white to pink to coral were rarer still. Jonquils and daffodils did come in southern varieties, but that was my lone comfort when missing midwestern springs.

I love the slow greening of the woodlands, barren and stark through the winter, now with every day a new gift of color or new nests or birds returning as spring days build towards Easter.

This has brought me healing often in my life. I am tolerant of the dormant feeling days in my own spirit, because experience has taught me that is only a season, not a condition. Sometimes it takes more than a single Spring to soothe my heart, But God has never failed to travel with me tenderly, reassure me consistently and send people and experiences that bring blessings beyond measure ... even on the darkest of days.

Perhaps this is why this is one of my favorite Bible verses: If anyone is in Christ, there is a new creation: everything old has passed away; see, everything has become new!  2 Corinthians 5:17 (NRSV)

Whatever season of the heart is yours today, say thank you for the promises of Spring.



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praying for each other

3/11/2016

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There is so much I don't understand about prayer and I expect to be learning new things as long as I live...and maybe lots more after that!

But some things are clear and this is one of the important ones. We are called to pray for one another as an act of love and obedience. St. Paul went through ship wrecks and imprisonment, challenges of health and faith, the ardors of traveling when it was unpleasant and dangerous, frustration and loneliness.

Yet, Paul wrote to Christ followers at Corinth, “On [God] we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, as you help us by your prayers.”*

I've had folks say, "it helped me so much to know you were praying for me" and I'm thinking, "I don't feel like any kind of super-prayer or expert." Yet my willingness to pray and my following through with prayer, and especially when I'm asked to pray aloud for someone or to pray aloud as we hold hands, all those things have been received with such love and growing connectedness. And, having been prayed for, and over by a bunch over amazing people over the years I have experienced all that as others have offered me their love and follow through.

I have learned that when I pray for someone, especially aloud, especially over a lengthy period of time, I always enjoy a deeper connection than is common in my interactions with folks. If I undertake to pray for someone who is irritating me, the irritation abates and leaves room for an open heart for that person. That does not mean I always become their bestest buddie or find them suddenly charming, but it does mean that I can be more patient and more quickly show mercy.

So I agree with St.Paul, that prayers help when others pray for us, and I believe other's prayers help me. But I also find that my prayers for others most of all change me: makes my heart more open, my judgments less harsh, my word kinder.

​I have found I am blessed by prayer in all directions!

* 2 Corinthians 1:10-11 (NIV)
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change our circumstances for the better

3/10/2016

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There are times when we feel overwhelmed by the sorrows and disappointments and challenges in our lives. We do not have to pretend to God, who knows us utterly and loves us completely. King David is credited with writing at least some of the Psalms and they reflect both his passionate love for his God and the times when he felt overwhelmed.

I love this prayer:

Lord
, change our circumstances for the better,

    like dry streams in the desert waste!
Let those who plant with tears
    reap the harvest with joyful shouts.
Let those who go out,
    crying and carrying their seed,
    come home with joyful shouts,

    carrying bales of grain!  Ps 126:4-6

The answer we get from God may not be what we hope and it may even seem crumby, but when we ask God to help us during times of challenge we open our selves to a change of heart, a new understanding, a new perspective so that, as we grow in trust and closeness to God, the seeds we plant are blessed by God's sun and rain to bear fruit. It will not happen in the way we plan or hope because our hope and plans are limited by our limited understanding; but God has something more amazing in mind than we could ever imagine ourselves.

I can pray Ps.126: 4-6 with confidence and gratitude.
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god, we need to talk

3/9/2016

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We ask for lives without problems, or when we have problems we ask that they be "fixed" according to our idea of what fixes them.

But as I have gotten older it has gotten a bit easier to just pray, whatever I face, to thank God I can be wholly trusting of God's capacity and commitment to travel with me. After all, in all circumstance I only know what I know and God knows all. God's plans are always for our highest good and mine are limited by my narrow understanding. If I pray for no rain when a wedding is scheduled and the farmer needs rain do I expect the rain to rain all around the wedding venue? Maybe instead the memory of adapting to rain will grow to a core value in the marriage where adapting is so necessary.

I realize this is hard, but I was reminded of the person who said God had answered his prayers to be kept safe during a terrible storm and how grateful he was that the damage occurred in another part of town. Really? Are the people in one part of town owed a trouble free storm while others deserve the damage?

Surely this is not what God intends for Jesus said, "(God) lets the sun rise for all people, whether they are good or bad. He sends rain to those who do right and to those who do wrong."*

Rather God is capable of helping us see the opportunity in the most difficult of situations and being present in the greatest of challenges. It starts with a deep breath or a sigh and the words, "God, we need to talk. Here are my concerns. I know You have a plan. What do You want me to do? AMEN"



*Matt 5:45
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a timely reminder

3/8/2016

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I was reading the blog of an acquaintance of mine and I think what she has to say is important, so today I yield the Floor to her:

https://samanthajreynolds.wordpress.com/2016/03/07/they-say-time-flies-when-youre-having-fun/

A timely reminder, Samantha, thanks!​
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blessings unaware

3/7/2016

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I've been traveling the Google maps highway to revisit a neighborhood I have lived in a few times in the rather distant past. Some things have changed (missing buildings and businesses) and some things have stayed the same (neighborhood anchored by University). I don't imagine I'd run into anyone I know if I wandered around there today.

​But this has lead me to think about the wide range of place and jobs and social connections I've experienced over several decades. I'm fascinated by how often things I thought were rather frustrating or even crumby were laying foundations for experiences I had no inkling would be useful in my future.

For instance, I had temp jobs with banks, insurance companies, mutual fund companies and commodities related businesses. Each was interesting and added to a body of knowledge that served me well when, many years later, I worked as a Certified Financial Planner for a national firm. And along the way I met people who were dealing with special needs kids, deaths of spouses, crises of faith, family challenges, and myriad of other challenges with varying degrees of grace and a willing to share a bit of their own faith, hope and experience. Over the years I have had many occasions to be deeply grateful for their candor and generosity.

So, as I set out on my day tomorrow, I'm going to do so with a renewed awareness that God sends blessings wrapped in many different packages and each person I meet may have an idea or observation or a bit of information that I'll find helpful somewhere along my life's journey. I intend to pay attention.

And I'll take a moment to thank God for all the interesting, quirky, brave, wise, kind, frustrating, and widely diverse folks God has arranged for me to meet, to learn from, to appreciate later -- even if not in the moment!

Faithful God, thank You for all the people you are sending into my life exactly when I most need them. AMEN

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
The one lesson I have learned is that there is no substitute for paying attention. Diane Sawyer
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    Jann's son was incarcerated.  She longed for a community where she could connect with others dealing with similar issues.

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