Some years ago my sister was in the throws of her first management level job and, although she is amazing, as we all experience there was an adjustment period. One day she said, "I just want a little counted cross-stitched sign that say, "I don't know the correct executive term but, I want my Mom!" Even at my now advancing age, that is exactly how I feel at the moment.

We are two weeks from our annual retreat for women who have been affected by the incarceration of a loved one and/or family member. It is a work of great blessing and joy, but it is hard work. Our weekend leader brings many skill sets for which we are grateful, because doing months of planning and team building with a large group of delightful, busy, scarred, beautiful, energetic and wholly human women is a lot like herding diva cats passionate about getting the job done. (Please pray for her and all of us and the woman who will be our guests in two short weeks.)

I've been impressed with so many exchanges of compassion and encouragement and ideas and savvy problem-solving and generosity....and an amazing amount of love. But I think the thing that has been the most impressive is the significant lack of ego and the lack of gamesmanship and posturing. Each weekend takes a minimum of 6 months of hard work and, if it were a many years commitment things might get less cohesive at times. But for this time people choose to set their own needs aside to an amazing extent, soliciting family and friends and church connections to pray, give, volunteer and they give lots and lots of their time and talents so we can welcome women who have in any way "served time with" someone important in their lives.

Our guests include mothers and wives and baby mamas and daughters and sisters and best friends whose idea of what life would be like has been significantly altered by the actions of another. And they are trying to find their way again, find a functional new normal, and they long for healing within their families of blood and choice. Many of our volunteers reach out to be a part of the ministry after they had similar experiences themselves. Others deal with different kinds of prisons that have colored their journey, but they feel the call to bring their hope, experience and faith into this ministry. Some work a weekend, some stay for a few years, and some serve for decades. All practice our primary directive: Listen, Listen. Love. Love.

So today I read Psalm 131 and thank God for these amazing women who minister to other women who stand in need of a little assurance that they are essentially God's amazing children, beloved daughters of the King of Kings, and in such ministry are themselves reminded of their own valued status in the eyes of God. I can hear this song with each act of kindness, love, service and mercy:

                                                      "Adonai, my heart isn’t proud; I don’t set my sight too high,
                                                       I don’t take part in great affairs or in wonders far beyond me.
                                                       No, I keep myself calm and quiet, like a little child on its mother’s lap --
                                                       I keep myself (safe and loved*) like a little child.
                                                       Isra’el, put your hope in Adonai from now on and forever!" AMEN

​*added by this author

A friend posted this verse this morning: "Though I am free and belong to no man, I make myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible." (1 Corinthians 9:19). The point of this is that we are to be willing to let our egos go rather than be a stumbling block to someone else's faith. All that is good, but it got me to thinking about all the ways we enslave ourselves...alcohol and drugs, reckless driving, reckless spending, nurturing hate, nurturing rage, controlling, judging and a bunch of other things we choose to flood into our lives until they are wholly in control of our bodies, minds, hearts, pouring sorrow and fear into the lives of those we love. 

With few exceptions, addictions rarely begin in a moment. Rather we convince our selves that a little willfulness or a little danger is exciting or a good way to "relax" and we slip and begin the fall; the downward pitch becomes steeper with each step until we are free falling into a life where we no longer have any choices, because our compulsions are running wild. We destroy our own well-being, lives and futures, and go wildly galloping through the lives of those who love us, and even total strangers who get in our way.

But life can turn in a better direction with God's help.

We can trust God with our whole heart and commitment, which frees us to live our best life, do our best work, make the best difference in the lives of others The more we trust God's ability and willingness to always care for us frees us, not only from additions and distractions, but frees us to serve God freely and joyously.

Is there something you might ask God to help you with today? He is delighted to help you!

I have been a little proud of my faith at times (OK, a lot proud), like an Olympic athlete or first round draft choice whose thousands of hours of practice and work have paid off in a big way. But faith really does not work like that. Imagine that, it is not really about me!

God pours faith and love and hope and joy into my life and too I often ignore it or even become a hybrid of a six armed goddess and the three "See No, Hear No, Speak No" chimps, stubbornly taking credit for all I do well and blaming others when things go wrong. Or I look in a mirror and tell lies about the beloved child of God who looks back. God IS love and always has plans for us to heal and grow, to give us the life God created us to live, a life of redemption, rehabilitation and restoration.

So faith is really not about what I do, but rather about who God is.

​This is unlike nearly everything in the World so it takes some getting used to. But it is really very wonderful and freeing. I'm not regular in my devotional and prayer life: God helps with that (but gets all the credit!) I'm so busy I miss folks who need a few kind words or or help getting their jacket on: God helps with that. I'm so angry it is making my life miserable: God helps with that.

God does not ping me over the head with a celestial baseball bat to get my attention or sit me in corner with a dunce cap for all to see, because that is not God's nature. But God IS always attuned to the longings of our heart and our softest prayers (and our loudest prayers of despair and fear and even prayers we don't realize we are praying). So our smallest willingness to welcome God into our heart gets translated to little cracks where God's love pours in and expands.

We all have hearts four sizes too small, but God's love is our Miracle Grow. God has all we need and is all we need and provides all we need to begin the journey to recover from our pain and suffering, our lost and lonely condition. The Spirit of God teaches to embrace the person we were created to be: loved and loving, peace-filled and peaceful, cheerful and cheering, contented and hopeful, kind to ourselves and others, and daily fulfilling our purpose.  

No earthly person needs to give us permission, no earthly power has authority over our soul, not any one of us is excluded from this amazing love. God loves you so very much!

Because of the grace that God gave me, I can say to each one of you: don’t think of yourself more highly than you ought to think. Instead, be reasonable since God has measured out a portion of faith to each one of you. Romans 12:3

The confusion, sorrow, anxiety, guilt, frustration, expense and exhaustion of dealing with a loved one who has found themselves on the wrong side of the criminal justice system may be something we never expected, or we may be struggling with the effects of one criminal person breeding the kind of disrespect for others that has left more than one person in our extended families keeping us praying, spending time and money in attorneys offices, courtroom trips, visiting room days and the like and, whether we support our incarcerated loved one with prayer only or include more tangible and expensive support, we certainly "do time" when someone important in our life "does time."

But if this was all there was to deal with, that would be quite challenging enough! For some families there are extraordinary additional issues.  What if you were convicted that your loved one was truly not guilty of the crime they have been convicted of? Or what if they were guilty of running with a rough crowd and wound up being in the wrong time and wrong place, only to have someone guilty of heinous wrong doing but familiar with gaming the system getting a lighter sentence than a first offender with a misguided sense of loyalty. (I suspect that the latter scenario is part of the reason female incarceration rates have soared in recent years.) Either of these circumstances adds the challenge with even more legal fees, time and focus and energy expended to seek a more just outcome. What if your incarcerated person has unusual health problems and poor or inappropriate medical care is making a modest sentence into a potential death sentence? What if the prison where your incarcerated person resides is hours or even days away from where you live? What if they had been closer and an administrative error resulted in an unheralded move and it was days or weeks before you learned what had happened? What if you watch beside your parent's bed, haunted by the specter of a beloved child or spouse not far away in miles, but unable to hold the dying person's hand or even speak to them by phone and you know they will not be at the impending funeral? What if your child is sick and the child's beloved incarcerated parent can not be there to comfort them?  

For each person affected by their own incarceration or the incarceration of a loved one and/or family member, there is a unique journey of challenges, hopes, dashed hopes, distraction, and, we hope, growth. Every letter is a mine-field -- do we tell about the family reunion or wedding or funeral missed with details and family stories, even though it might make them feel with deeper pain the loneliness of their situation? Do we encourage that the appeal will go through or the parole granted or try to calmly encourage caution, lest a broken dream drive them to greater despair? Do we explain our own health issues, when they can do little to help, but might leave them with a sense of betrayal and guilt if a medical procedure goes fatally awry? Do we tell them that their children miss them or leave them wondering if it matters to their children that they are not a part of their day-to-day lives?

So following the instruction in Romans 12 seems pretty challenging:  ​" So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.." 

I'd never say anything God asks is easy, but I've learned it is often powerful in ways I am still learning to appreciate. So I believe there is merit in laying EVERYTHING down as an offering to God, even our doubts that we can understand or execute what God is calling us to do.

So, let me offer this prayer for us all:

Almighty and All-Knowing and Loving God, I'm just going to be as transparent with You as I know how to be. I'm feeling overwhelmed and under capable today, Lord. Everywhere I turn there are challenges and my imperfect responses are blinding me to Your Love in all this. So please show me, Lord, what You know I need to do and, when I'm turned in the right direction, give me the strength to put one foot in front of the other, and teach me to offer my hands for Your use in my life and in the lives of those I love and serve. Help me to be more mindful of Your presence and ability in every situation and action before me today, Lord. Help to remember Romans' words: "Take your everyday, ordinary life and place it before God as an offering." Lots of the parts of my life right now are pretty awful. Help me pray my way through the day with every challenge, fear and disappointment being laid before You so that You might teach me what You want my response to be, that You might let me see Your covenant shining in the midst of darkest moments, that you might let me reflect the light of Your persistent Love and Mercy and Grace into my actions and relationships and responses. And because I trust You, Lord, I'm going to say thanks to You now for all You are opening my heart to experience.Thank you, Lord! Lord, help my unbelief! In memory of Jesus' blood shed for me, AMEN"​

Some years ago my sister was in the throws of her first management level job and, although she is amazing, as we all experience, there was an adjustment period. One day she said, "I just want a little counted cross-stitched sign that say, "I don't know the correct executive term but, I want my Mom!" Even at my now advancing age, that is exactly how I feel at the moment.

We are two weeks from our annual retreat for women who have been affected by the incarceration of a loved one and/or family member. It is a work of great blessing and joy, but it is hard work. Our weekend leader brings many skill sets for which we are grateful, because doing months of planning and team building with a large group of delightful, busy, scarred, beautiful, energetic and wholly human women is a lot like herding diva cats passionate about getting the job done. (Please pray for her and all of us and the woman who will be our guests in two short weeks.)

I've been impressed with so many exchanges of compassion and encouragement and ideas and savvy problem-solving and generosity....and an amazing amount of love. But I think the thing that has been the most impressive is the significant lack of ego and the lack of gamesmanship and posturing. Each weekend takes a minimum of 6 months of hard work and, if it were a many years commitment things might get less cohesive at times. But for this time people choose to set their own needs aside to an amazing extent, soliciting family and friends and church connections to pray, give, volunteer and they give lots and lots of their time and talents so we can welcome women who have in any way "served time with" someone important in their lives.

Our guests include mothers and wives and baby mama's and daughters and sisters and best friends whose idea of what life would be like has been significantly altered by the actions of another. And they are trying to find their way again, find a functional new normal, and they long for healing within their families of blood and choice. Many of our volunteers reach out to be a part of the ministry after they had similar experiences themselves. Others deal with different kinds of prisons that have colored their journey, but they feel the call to bring their hope, experience and faith into this ministry. Some work a weekend, some stay for a few years, and some serve for decades. All practice our primary directive: Listen, Listen. Love. Love.

So today I read Psalm 131 and thank God for these amazing women who minister to other women who stand in need of a little assurance that they are essentially God's amazing children, beloved daughters of the King of Kings, and in such ministry are themselves reminded of their own valued status in the eyes of God. I can hear this song with each act of kindness, love, service and mercy:

                                                      "Adonai, my heart isn’t proud; I don’t set my sight too high,
                                                       I don’t take part in great affairs or in wonders far beyond me.
                                                       No, I keep myself calm and quiet, like a little child on its mother’s lap --
                                                       I keep myself (safe and loved*) like a little child.
                                                       Isra’el, put your hope in Adonai from now on and forever!" AMEN

​*added by this author