As I age I have normal thoughts about how I might leave this earth. I've had family members die in accidents and illnesses that take them far sooner that we expected. I've had family members that endure the challenges of moving from household to household as great age robed them of the ability to live independently. I've had family members who seemed to die long before their bodies gave out because they simple chose not to engage in the living of life. And I've had family members who loved and served and gave in amazing ways even as their life ebbed from their mortal body. I understand that in a very concrete sense we are all dying from the day we are born.
So this speaks to me in ways it never could have when I was younger and robust of body and quick of mind: We do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.* I do understand that I have grown in many ways that I appreciate and that allow me to offer comfort and kindness in ways my younger self would have never thought of. And I am grateful that every day God places in my life folks who can benefit from a kind word, a tender connection, a moment when someone attends them.
Holy God, Almighty God, send me work, and confidence that what You send will be accomplished because of my reliance on You, my conviction that I am in over my head, and that I have an utter need to not run off with my own ideas and plans, rather leaning ever more completely on Your Grace and the infinite rightness of Your purpose in placing me here at this time. AMEN
* 2 Corinthians 4:16