There is a lot of collateral damage from a moment of selfishness and poor judgement that leads to having a loved one trudging through the legal system. From victims of crime to legal system personnel to perpetrators to the families of all the above.
But today I'd like to discuss one that is spoken of in soft voices with quiet tears running mascara down a carefully made-up cheek. Grandmothers. We know that compared to the others affected by the backwash of crime and the ensuing legal trek, ours is not so bad. Oh, I don't mean the grandmothers who are now raising their grandchildren, because these folks deserve all the support and kindness we can offer.
No, I mean those of us whose children are dealing with the loss of their own child and so we are experiencing estrangement from that child's child::
It may be because of actions of said child.
It may be that the "other parent" simply wants to move on from the sadness, expense and chaos of
being involved with an incarcerated person or someone who has been incarcerated.
The former son-in-law may move to another city to be nearer his own family.
The daughter-in-law may marry someone who would just as soon forget that part of her and her
children's past.
The aunt may move the children across several states to keep them out of foster care.
The grandparent who was caring for the children may develop such significant health issues that the children are moved to a family member some distance away.
However it happens, it leaves grandparents torn between trying to be supportive of what must be while trying to bind up a broken heart.
We want what is best for the child. We believe that the caregiver also loves the child and will care for them well, but still our heart breaks. Every holiday, every birthday, old pictures from better days, longing to know that things are well....a silent sorrow often not known even to our closest friends.
Bear with these grandmothers and grandfathers, lifting them up in prayer that they may be filled with gratitude that God has their grandchildren in His care at all times and in all places; and show them how to rely on God for healing of their tender broken grandparent hearts.
But today I'd like to discuss one that is spoken of in soft voices with quiet tears running mascara down a carefully made-up cheek. Grandmothers. We know that compared to the others affected by the backwash of crime and the ensuing legal trek, ours is not so bad. Oh, I don't mean the grandmothers who are now raising their grandchildren, because these folks deserve all the support and kindness we can offer.
No, I mean those of us whose children are dealing with the loss of their own child and so we are experiencing estrangement from that child's child::
It may be because of actions of said child.
It may be that the "other parent" simply wants to move on from the sadness, expense and chaos of
being involved with an incarcerated person or someone who has been incarcerated.
The former son-in-law may move to another city to be nearer his own family.
The daughter-in-law may marry someone who would just as soon forget that part of her and her
children's past.
The aunt may move the children across several states to keep them out of foster care.
The grandparent who was caring for the children may develop such significant health issues that the children are moved to a family member some distance away.
However it happens, it leaves grandparents torn between trying to be supportive of what must be while trying to bind up a broken heart.
We want what is best for the child. We believe that the caregiver also loves the child and will care for them well, but still our heart breaks. Every holiday, every birthday, old pictures from better days, longing to know that things are well....a silent sorrow often not known even to our closest friends.
Bear with these grandmothers and grandfathers, lifting them up in prayer that they may be filled with gratitude that God has their grandchildren in His care at all times and in all places; and show them how to rely on God for healing of their tender broken grandparent hearts.
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