Some years ago I was shepherding a teenage son and a mother-in-law with a diagnosis of moderate dementia of the Alzheimer's type on a trip to Texas. I knew it would probably be the last trip for a woman who had always been excited at the prospect of a trip to see new things, but had never had an opportunity to fulfill a long-standing desire to "see Texas." It was a memorable trip in several ways, but one day was particularly poignant.
We had gone to Boerne, Texas (pronounced as rhyming with "journey") to wander through a craft show that is well known in the area. We had lunch and decided a stop at the ladies' room would be good before we started making the rounds of the booths. The local city officials had erected a bright, clean, stand-alone building to serve all the downtown merchants and their customers, but, as well maintained as it was, the latch on the stall was too stiff for my mother-in-law's arthritic fingers to work so she asked me to hold the door closed for her. She asked ""Are you still there?" several times. (As the dementia progressed she was very anxious when she could not see a family member when in an unfamiliar place.) I was generally OK with being patient and courteous, but when she asked yet again, I was a little sharp in my tone when I said, "Mom, I'm right here. You can see my fingers at the top of the door." Her voice was soft when she said, "Yes, dear, I know, but can you let me out now?"
I was reminded yet again, that just because something has been, does not mean it is still what I assume!
But I must admit, it also reminds me of myself as I keep asking God to make His presence's obvious to me, asking for "signs," most often when I want to be relieved of a obligation or want to cut an ethical corner that I already know needs to be handled with utmost honestly. Fortunately, I never have to tell God, "I'm ready to move on wisely now" because God keeps the door to doing things "His Way" available at all times.
So for those times I am truly seeking to discern the way I am to go and even in those times when I'm gaming myself, God continues to be wholly present, never forsaking me even when I am foolish. In the instant I surrender my will to His, I know instantly the relief of being tended very careful by the Almighty Creator, through the death and resurrection of His Son and by the persistent presence of the Spirit of God who ever helps me to conform my will to God: informing, healing and blessing my life.
"[God] hath said, 'I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.' ” Hebrews 13:5 (KJV)
We had gone to Boerne, Texas (pronounced as rhyming with "journey") to wander through a craft show that is well known in the area. We had lunch and decided a stop at the ladies' room would be good before we started making the rounds of the booths. The local city officials had erected a bright, clean, stand-alone building to serve all the downtown merchants and their customers, but, as well maintained as it was, the latch on the stall was too stiff for my mother-in-law's arthritic fingers to work so she asked me to hold the door closed for her. She asked ""Are you still there?" several times. (As the dementia progressed she was very anxious when she could not see a family member when in an unfamiliar place.) I was generally OK with being patient and courteous, but when she asked yet again, I was a little sharp in my tone when I said, "Mom, I'm right here. You can see my fingers at the top of the door." Her voice was soft when she said, "Yes, dear, I know, but can you let me out now?"
I was reminded yet again, that just because something has been, does not mean it is still what I assume!
But I must admit, it also reminds me of myself as I keep asking God to make His presence's obvious to me, asking for "signs," most often when I want to be relieved of a obligation or want to cut an ethical corner that I already know needs to be handled with utmost honestly. Fortunately, I never have to tell God, "I'm ready to move on wisely now" because God keeps the door to doing things "His Way" available at all times.
So for those times I am truly seeking to discern the way I am to go and even in those times when I'm gaming myself, God continues to be wholly present, never forsaking me even when I am foolish. In the instant I surrender my will to His, I know instantly the relief of being tended very careful by the Almighty Creator, through the death and resurrection of His Son and by the persistent presence of the Spirit of God who ever helps me to conform my will to God: informing, healing and blessing my life.
"[God] hath said, 'I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.' ” Hebrews 13:5 (KJV)
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