I am a work in progress.
Now I think being an adult is expecting to have bad times as well as good, being willing to grow and learning what I have authority over and exercising it. With God's help I have authority over my own actions, my attitude and my willingness to try something new if what I'm doing isn't working. I no longer expect to get "it" wholly correct, or "arrive" or be perfect. But I do accept that I can learn from mistakes, grow stronger by doing the right thing more consistently and see myself as the beloved child that God sees, created for a purpose, wholly renewable and worthy of forgiveness, beloved, and valuable.
We moved into a 20 year-old house last year. It had been rehabed and we had hoped that would mean the first year would be low-maintenance. Maybe if the house had been in the care of more reliable workmen it would have been better, but in truth when you have a house, the house owns you. There is always a need to watch for insect invasions, things that need updating, paint that has been pinged, things that wear out and that is pretty much the way life is. We need to keep checking to see if we are becoming the person we want to be and if not, adjust course. We can't decide to be "a little selfish" without looking back and realizing we have harmed those we loved.
We can't be "a little dishonest" and then be surprised that we've drifted where we did not intend to go.
This would be pretty intimidating if it were not for this: Psalm 46:1 records, "God is our protection and source of strength. He is always ready to help us in times of trouble." On my own, I'm frustrated, painfully aware of my own brokenness and constantly trying to get it together. But I am not on my own. My God is never out of town, phone lost or out of juice, uninterested, distracted or out of patience. When I fall I am confident that I can do better and that God can heal me, teach me, restore me and God always, always, always loves me.
This is one of those days when I am particularly grateful for God's Amazing Grace.