One of the loneliest times I recall I was in a very large crowd. I had recently been separated from my husband and my children were safe, staying with their grandparents. It was a lovely fall day and I decided to walk a couple of miles to a popular shopping area where an art fair was being held. The walk was healing to a spirit that felt that recent days were like being sucked into an eddy of emotional chaos. Things went well until I got about two blocks into the art fair when suddenly I needed to GET OUT. Everyone smiling and having a good time was not soothing to my tender soul. I know not everyone was part of a happy couple, but it seemed so. I fled as fast as I could go without running and was several blocks away before I could slow my steps and my breath.
Being in the midst of a throng of happy shoppers left me feeling like the unhappiest and loneliest person on planet Earth. It was well into the next spring before I ventured into a crowd without an anxious flutter of unhappiness.
I was already a follower of the teachings of Christ and a passionate believer in the saving grace of my Savior. But that was no magic pill in the midst of the saddest time of my life. Knowing and doing is not the same thing; knowing God was present and cared and able to guide and comfort did not instantly translate into the ability to experience those blessings deeply.
But each day as I prayed for God's comfort and sought God's Will for my life the chaos began to ebb. As I was sent good people to demonstrate mercy to me and reminded me that God was still there even when I was running the crazies, I kept speaking my heart to God. Slowly I become convinced God was listening and had a better plan for me.
I have had other days when I faced challenges and times of high anxiety and this I know. God has been faithful to God's covenant to be with me always, to provide wisdom and resources and strength and always, always enough.
Sometimes the enough overflows to abundance, but it is never less than enough. No matter how alone I feel, I am aware of God's unfailing care of me.
I can affirm with confidence and hope: GOD IS WITH ME
Matt 28:20 Look, I myself will be with you every day until the end of this present age.
Being in the midst of a throng of happy shoppers left me feeling like the unhappiest and loneliest person on planet Earth. It was well into the next spring before I ventured into a crowd without an anxious flutter of unhappiness.
I was already a follower of the teachings of Christ and a passionate believer in the saving grace of my Savior. But that was no magic pill in the midst of the saddest time of my life. Knowing and doing is not the same thing; knowing God was present and cared and able to guide and comfort did not instantly translate into the ability to experience those blessings deeply.
But each day as I prayed for God's comfort and sought God's Will for my life the chaos began to ebb. As I was sent good people to demonstrate mercy to me and reminded me that God was still there even when I was running the crazies, I kept speaking my heart to God. Slowly I become convinced God was listening and had a better plan for me.
I have had other days when I faced challenges and times of high anxiety and this I know. God has been faithful to God's covenant to be with me always, to provide wisdom and resources and strength and always, always enough.
Sometimes the enough overflows to abundance, but it is never less than enough. No matter how alone I feel, I am aware of God's unfailing care of me.
I can affirm with confidence and hope: GOD IS WITH ME
Matt 28:20 Look, I myself will be with you every day until the end of this present age.
RSS Feed
