I know God puts things in the Bible to instruct, guide, and comfort me. And in one way this sounds pretty interesting, this telling me great and unsearchable things I do not know.
But on another level, this scares me silly! What if I learn I am not as smart as I think I am? What if I find out many of the blessings I enjoy have nothing to do with my abilities or being a special pet of the Almighty? What if I find out I have not fulfilled my potential and I have left it too late?
Actually I have learned that I am not as smart as I always thought. Survived it.
I have learned that I am not God's favorite, except to the extent that we all his favorite. Embraced it.
I have learned that I have a lot to learn but that God's understanding of time is very different than my own. Its never too late to be all I can be for God. Working on it.
I guess I'll keep working on trusting God to teach me things that deepen my understanding and with it, grow my relationship with my Maker and my Lord. After I get past the anxiety of learning the new thing, it is always enormously worth it.