But I digress. I am trying to figure out where God is directing me in my ministry and it has become so frustrating. I know sometimes God's timing is just better than my own, but often I know I also am given time to learn during this time of waiting, something I'll need going forward.
So when I read that Moses said to God, "You have said, 'I know you by name, and you have also found favor in My sight." Moses replies, "Now if I have found favor in your sight, show me your ways, so that I may know you and find favor in Your sight."* You will note the cyclic nature of this when Moses said. "I want to know more clearly where we are headed in all this because if I know more about what is coming I'l be better prepared." I truly understand Moses' point of view and today I truly needed to hear God's response: "The replied, 'I’ll go myself, and I’ll help you.'”
Wow, so Moses say "Since You have found favor with me, help me find more favor with you." And God is going where I'm going (and is already there), and God says He helps me. Therefore the more I seek to draw closer to God, to know God's plans for us and experience an awareness of God's presence in our lives, the more we please God. And, this is big, maybe fretting about this is not really helpful, because it focuses on how needy I am more than the more important part, which is how powerful and loving and attentive is God.
Yes, I am small and seem unimportant in the universe, but more importantly I am beloved of God who knows me by name and helps me. Yes, Moses was a big wheel in the Old Testament, but God does not say that is why God found Moses worthwhile -- this murderer who fled his people and is dragging his feet in getting with the program. Moses is important for the same reason you and I are important, even when we are dragging our feet getting with the program, because God created us to love Him and God pursues us passionately and persistently.
OK, God, I don't do too well when I try to do things on my own, so here I am asking You to give me a heart for You, lead me, guide me, love me, correct me so that I might be and do that for which I am created, Your beloved daughter, O King of Kings. I love you. I long to serve you. Thank you for loving me and being so persistently patient when I loose focus and become fearful. AMEN
* Exodus 33:12-23