Making the transition from parent of a minor to a parent of an adult is fraught with many pitfalls. Our own sense of fallibility feeds fears that “we didn’t teach them enough.” Unfortunately for a child with the smallest insecurity (and who among us has none) this can be interpreted that our parent, the person who has known us the most intimately and the longest in all the world, lacks confidence that we are able.
I was so blessed because my mother had been raised in a family that staunchly believed that we are given our children for a limited number of years, rarely over 20, in which to do our best and after that parents are to have crafted a relationship based on love and respect rather than continuing need.
Yet even with this background, I have found it very difficult to let my children fly without standing below them with a net.
Add to this the challenge of a child who struggles in any way, but surely by making decisions that have resulted in incarceration and it is way too easy to slip back into the parenting roll as we watch a beloved child slip further into addiction, financial irresponsibility, criminal behavior, and broken relationships, to find ourselves yelling “stop, watch out, no-o-o-o” in ways that simply don’t add anything helpful to the situation.
So the challenge for us is to practice a lot of self-restraint, build a solid base for our own life and offer prayers of thanksgiving and trust that God is fully present for our beloved child, fully willing and able to provide all things needed for them to find their way and live lives of purpose and hope.
This verse speaks wisdom into my relationships, not only with my children, but with all God’s children: So continue encouraging each other and building each other up, just like you are doing already. (Thessalonians 5:11)
I was so blessed because my mother had been raised in a family that staunchly believed that we are given our children for a limited number of years, rarely over 20, in which to do our best and after that parents are to have crafted a relationship based on love and respect rather than continuing need.
Yet even with this background, I have found it very difficult to let my children fly without standing below them with a net.
Add to this the challenge of a child who struggles in any way, but surely by making decisions that have resulted in incarceration and it is way too easy to slip back into the parenting roll as we watch a beloved child slip further into addiction, financial irresponsibility, criminal behavior, and broken relationships, to find ourselves yelling “stop, watch out, no-o-o-o” in ways that simply don’t add anything helpful to the situation.
So the challenge for us is to practice a lot of self-restraint, build a solid base for our own life and offer prayers of thanksgiving and trust that God is fully present for our beloved child, fully willing and able to provide all things needed for them to find their way and live lives of purpose and hope.
This verse speaks wisdom into my relationships, not only with my children, but with all God’s children: So continue encouraging each other and building each other up, just like you are doing already. (Thessalonians 5:11)
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