Actually, since I have been doing some family history research, I have found several relatives I would like to have a serious talk with about why they left so much painful luggage laying about from their time on Earth. And I have some relatives that carried far heavier burdens than I could begin to understand, but now better understand their general crankiness.
In the end, we all make mistakes and, where we do not work to forgive and seek forgiveness, we leave a trail of problems for our children they often do not even understand. But they live with the ashes. We wonder why a grandparent had no interest in us because we do not understand the conflict that occurred before our birth. We wonder why a parent could never manage to say the words, "I love you" until we understand something of their own life's journey.
What do I need to attend in my own life, so my children learn to be courageous forgivers, and even more courageous forgiveness seekers? How can I show in my actions that I really believe the things Jesus taught about His expectation that we should forgive all others as He forgives us. And how can I forgive myself, making me more forgiving?
Maybe I need to write a letter to my irritating deceased relative and light a fire to it or bury it or read it out loud at the graveside so I don't track this mud into the lives of my children and grandchildren any longer. Mostly, I need to talk about this with God so I can open my heart to the healing that only God can give.