I have found forgiveness to be more a journey than an event. I take too long to be willing to give up my right to hurt you for hurting me.* And once I realize the need, the wisdom, the possibility of forgiveness, then I think I've "got it" only to find I have been wallowing around in fear and feeding the memory of the pain and I AGAIN have to get my head properly oriented, my prayers fired up, and memories bestirred of the many times I have been granted forgiveness so I can take another step in ridding myself of this burden.
It is surprising the things that can trigger a slip: A memory that brings the pain back with it, a comment from a none-too-helpful friend, an action or situation that brings doubt about the wisdom of having forgiven. But each time around it gets easier: I move through the process faster, until at last I can more closely mirror God's forgiveness of me and "no longer remember".
Then one day something happens that brings the event to mind and I find I truly have let got of the hurt, truly welcome the person more wholly back into my life, trust and value them as I long to be trusted and valued when I mess up.
Please don't mistake a slip with proof that it was all pointless. Get up. Dust off your backside. And start back through the process which will get easier with each iteration.
And the freedom, the release, the joy is worth all the work. What a blessing to leave the baggage on the side of the road and travel lighter, faster on the journey to becoming the person we were created to be, fulfilling our purpose without the distraction and doubts.
*I'd really like to give credit to the author of this phrasing, but it was posted on BibleGateway.com with no attribution.
(God says) I will forgive their sins and will no longer remember their wrongs. Hebrews 8:12
It is surprising the things that can trigger a slip: A memory that brings the pain back with it, a comment from a none-too-helpful friend, an action or situation that brings doubt about the wisdom of having forgiven. But each time around it gets easier: I move through the process faster, until at last I can more closely mirror God's forgiveness of me and "no longer remember".
Then one day something happens that brings the event to mind and I find I truly have let got of the hurt, truly welcome the person more wholly back into my life, trust and value them as I long to be trusted and valued when I mess up.
Please don't mistake a slip with proof that it was all pointless. Get up. Dust off your backside. And start back through the process which will get easier with each iteration.
And the freedom, the release, the joy is worth all the work. What a blessing to leave the baggage on the side of the road and travel lighter, faster on the journey to becoming the person we were created to be, fulfilling our purpose without the distraction and doubts.
*I'd really like to give credit to the author of this phrasing, but it was posted on BibleGateway.com with no attribution.
(God says) I will forgive their sins and will no longer remember their wrongs. Hebrews 8:12
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