I was involved in a ministry event where I was leading an opportunity to write on a very small piece of rice paper the names of people I need to forgive and from whom I needed forgiveness. I started slowly, but picked up steam. I filled both sides with tiny print as I realized how many relationships were less than they might be if more mercy were poured into them. I enjoyed the worship service where we were invited to place the paper in a bowl of water as the pastor stirred and stirred and the papers dissolved. As we wrapped up the event I thought of what a nice idea that was.
But on the drive home I found I had sheets of tears streaming down my face as I no longer was focused on the needs of the guests. I had to pull off at a rest stop and let the tears flow for all the mistakes I had made and all the crumby stuff that had happened to me over six decades. I felt lighter, more capable of joy, more loving, more healed.
If I have the opportunity to do it again I will be delighted. But in the meantime, I try to pay more attention to the tender hearts God places in my life and I try to pay more attention to the unhealed scraps and scratches my own heart is not letting go of.
Merciful God, thank You for the forgiveness, grace, faith, hope, joy, mercy and love You pour into my life when I quit hanging onto lesser things. Show me how to release more of what harms to make ever more room for what blesses. Thank You for being so generous in my rehabilitation, showing me how to show to others the mercy You pour into me. AMEN