paying forward

Mothers' Day: a charming idea when it was conceived by folks who felt that mothers deserved credit for the jobs they performed that modern society has too often equated with "unimportant" because the tasks are unpaid. Then in the natural course it became commercialized since it is easier to buy a card rather than write a note of appreciation and, unless the dad enjoyed cooking, it was much easier to fight crowds and finance a meal, than for the guys to do the cooking.

Yet in the midst of all the celebration is a core of sorrow for folks who are mourning the death of a beloved mother, experiencing great difficulty in getting pregnant, reminded of the death of a child, or haunted by memories of a mother so broken in her own self that it is hard to escape a sense of resentment.

So, now that this day is past for another year, let us go forth to care tenderly for each other, if you will -- mother each other. Let us stand up for the disenfranchised, offer a hand, speak a word of encouragement, assume the best, give the gift of time, write a note, stop by for a chat, make a call or send an email that echos the best mothering you have ever received, whether from a woman with whom you share significant DNA or from someone who just invested time in you.

It is the best way to honor those who have poured kindness out upon us, even when we were being a brat.