Family is such an interesting concept, such a gift when it is not a burden! Nothing seems harder to me than to have such extreme danger in ones family of birth that the only safe option for ourselves or our children is to limit or sever contact. I have a quirky, odd, sometimes crumby, mostly OK and often smashingly wonderful family who are willing to go the extra mile even when there has been no close contact for a while. But I have spoken with people who have the most horrendous experiences of abuse, life-damaging neglect, even overt bodily and emotional injuries, too often compounded by the additional abuse of family members who prefer not to deal with the essential evil seeping through their lives.
I've also been blessed with family of choice that expands the blessings in my life: sisters of choice, grand-children of choice and a particularly spiffy foster daughter. Over the years as life and circumstances change, the connections continue to bless and inform my life in such amazing ways. If we haven't spoken in a while, but you need me to meet your step-niece at the airport and drive her a couple of hours to your sister's house, I'll be there with joy and gratitude that love is the tie that binds.
But in the end, anyone we love can come up short. Maybe occasionally. Maybe often. In the most serious cases we may even need to love from afar or with significant boundaries established. And all of that makes loving seem so dangerous at times that we limit it, circumscribe it, hide from it in an effort to not be hurt.
This may be why my most favorite attribute of God is described in this verse from 1st John: Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. * So when I most certainly do NOT feel loving toward someone I am not required to rely on my own capacity in this.
I have had many occasions in my life where I needed to love someone who was driving me to the point of exhaustion or rage and God has never failed to answer this with a swift and resounding, "You Got It!". Do I mean that I suddenly felt all new lamb and daffodils tender toward the person. No, I mean something quite different. I mean that God convicted me that the person I was so frustrated with was actually loved by God as much as I am--even when I am being irritating and outrageous! It is the choice powered by God's love to show His Love to another; and to do so without limits because I have no right to set any limits on love, even when I must find the courage to established healthy boundaries.
* 1 John 4:8
I've also been blessed with family of choice that expands the blessings in my life: sisters of choice, grand-children of choice and a particularly spiffy foster daughter. Over the years as life and circumstances change, the connections continue to bless and inform my life in such amazing ways. If we haven't spoken in a while, but you need me to meet your step-niece at the airport and drive her a couple of hours to your sister's house, I'll be there with joy and gratitude that love is the tie that binds.
But in the end, anyone we love can come up short. Maybe occasionally. Maybe often. In the most serious cases we may even need to love from afar or with significant boundaries established. And all of that makes loving seem so dangerous at times that we limit it, circumscribe it, hide from it in an effort to not be hurt.
This may be why my most favorite attribute of God is described in this verse from 1st John: Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. * So when I most certainly do NOT feel loving toward someone I am not required to rely on my own capacity in this.
I have had many occasions in my life where I needed to love someone who was driving me to the point of exhaustion or rage and God has never failed to answer this with a swift and resounding, "You Got It!". Do I mean that I suddenly felt all new lamb and daffodils tender toward the person. No, I mean something quite different. I mean that God convicted me that the person I was so frustrated with was actually loved by God as much as I am--even when I am being irritating and outrageous! It is the choice powered by God's love to show His Love to another; and to do so without limits because I have no right to set any limits on love, even when I must find the courage to established healthy boundaries.
* 1 John 4:8
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