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what do you want more than anything?

10/26/2014

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What do I want more than anything? When I was young I longed for a family, professional success, financial stability. I was no budding Olympic athlete or child star and I can't remember envying those who were. I guess you could say my dreams were modest: a good life, a place in the community where I could be of service.  All that seemed reasonable. And I have known many blessings in these areas, but none of them was enough.

I was active in my church, my children's school and community activities, politically involved and all that was good in its way. I am married to a good man, have great kids who are raising good kids of their own. I did work I found satisfying and that I believe was even important in a small way. Even when the normal storms of life moved in and took up residence for long stretches I was inclined to clutch my blessings to my heart and keep on keepin' on.

But now, as I look back I wish I had been wiser in what I longed for, worked for, strived for. I wish I'd prayed more consistently for my parents and my children, rather than treating it as a fallback position during times of stress. I wish I had taken my children more often to serve others. I wish I had been more actively kind to my pastors, my hair dresser, my neighbor. I wish I had understood much earlier that ministry is less about a degree and more about a calling to be the hands and feet of God in a world of hurting people. I wish I had thanked God more often and more extravagantly. I wish I was more sure that my children understood that faith was about loving and rejoicing rather than rules and rites.

I wish I had realized much earlier that what I needed most was refreshment for my thirsty soul.

He fills the thirsty soul.
 Psalms 107:9
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    Jann's son was incarcerated.  She longed for a community where she could connect with others dealing with similar issues.

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