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yet another change?

6/8/2015

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I have studied many ideas about grief and one that always sticks with me is the common human response to just ignore the facts until they can be assimilated at least a bit. Oh, we address an immediate emergency with efficiency, almost as though it were an acquaintance rather than a piece of our heart being loaded into an ambulance or stunned by a cancer diagnosis or a the phone call says they will never be coming home again.

But then there is a time, maybe a moment or maybe a space of time, when part of us shuts down to put one step in front of another to get the needs of each day met, but part of us is "lights out, no body home" until we can catch a bit of our breath, begin to think, start to clear the fog. Sometimes we move in and out of that state for some period of time as we "move through the grieving process."

And this same process includes having triplets or really any addition to the household, getting a promotion that will stretch our abilities, buying a house in a new neighborhood or joining a new church where we don't know folks, natural disasters, divorces, professional changes ... really all of life is about changes great and small and each change brings uncertainty, anxiety and adjustments. Good changes, bad changes, neutral changes vary by degree but change in reality or even a change of perception about our lives or our selves disturbs our space, our minds, our hearts--oh and usually our budgets.

So I would expect to be better at it. Oh, I have gotten better over the years, especially since I realized that it was not going to stop. But I still drag my feet when I need to change jobs, go back to school, develop new spiritual habits, spend time doing important things instead of killing time.

But pursuing the goal of gently moving forward is such good advice, every day, in every change, in every change we fear might happen, in every change in thinking we need to seriously consider. In fact, every day or more often. And I always feel so much better when I quit dodging the issues, the challenge, the need to change ... so WHY do I keep dragging my feet?

O Spirit of God, today will bring challenges. Each one does. Some I see on the horizon. Some will jump up out of nowhere. None will be exactly what I expect or fear. Surprise is a constant. But I know that none of this is a surprise to You. You have woven my live with perfect love, perfect knowledge, perfect planning so that You have already supplied what I need to get where You are leading me. I've learned things I will need in my tomorrows even though I don't yet know how or why they will be applied. I've got amazing surprises, miracles really, waiting at just the right moment ahead. So help me to run with perseverance the race that is set before me, looking to Jesus, deeply at peace that I am not running alone, not running away, not running amok, but rather running the path laid out for me from forever. AMEN

Let us run with perseverance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus. - Hebrews 12:1-2 
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    Jann's son was incarcerated.  She longed for a community where she could connect with others dealing with similar issues.

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